Monday, December 22, 2008

I still got the Christmas Spirit Fingers!

1. MAN! is it cold outside!

(all together now)


It's so cold that my windshield wiper fluid froze. THAT'S RIGHT! My wiper fluid. Yeah I know, wiper fluid has antifreeze in it. But, it never had a chance. It being day four of -35 degrees. Wait, I mean FUCKING THIRTY FIVE DEGREE BELOW FUCKING ZERO!

Had to throw some HEET on it. That worked actually. I heart HEET

2. MAN! It's cold outside!

(again, all together now)

It's so cold that the act of walking into work causes the cheeks to get all red and chapped. And I wear a face wrap thing, the kind that goes under ski helmets. Seriously, I ran the mail to another building and I got windburn on my cheek. Blistered and everything. Next time, I am sending the security guard to do it. On his off hours he runs a snow removal business. He makes more money then the doctors I bet. Either way, he is made of steel, this Mr. Clean.

3. MAN! It's cold outside!!


It so cold, that after I scraped the 4 inches of snow, excuse me FUCKING FOUR FUCKING INCHES OF GODDAMN FUCKING SNOW off my car that had accumulated while I worked, I still had to scrape a good 1/2 inch layer of frost and ice. Then I got in the car and realized, oh, I guess you can get frost on the inside of your windshield too. WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. All that scraping the snow, um, I actually broke my scraper this morning. I mean, I think the snow can hear me. I mean, how else could that happen? Has anyone else broken their scraper??

I mean really, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, let me apologize to the snow. I'm sorry snow.
Please don't snap my scrapers in half anymore. I mean, it's nothing personal.

BUT! Despite all this, I still got the Christmas Spirit!!

Oh baby oh baby!! I still feel the Christmas Joy!

And this is why . . . . . .

As Pancake and I were walking into a store I says:

4. "Pancake, It's sooo cold outside!

"Mommy, it's really cold! "

"It's so cold my butt fell clean off. Take a look back there, it's laying by the car. Can you see it Pancake?"

She looks back, looks at me, all devilish smile, all silly grin, "Don't worry Mom, I'll glue it back on!"

God, I love being a mom to a six year old. Good times ;)

AND THEN . . .

4. We bought sleds for the kids. They have been staring something fierce at the wee Pancake for a week. We live 2 blocks from a snow hill that she passes every morning. With it being too cold, all have been unused. If I was Pancake, I would not have been so polite for so long.

But she has been polite. And gentle in her pleas and wanting. Finally, I just couldn't take how nice she was taking it. She couldn't either. She broke down, I broke down. And I pulled her around the backyard, in the snow, for 15 minutes. Burnt the other cheek and almost broke the sled because the snow as so deep and frozen. Did I mention the snow was waist deep on me? I'm five four btw.

But man. We got back in and she was GLOWING! Hoping up and down.


So yes, I have the Christmas Spirit.

I hope you do to. If no, you can always borrow a cup when you stop by.


8 Left a message at the beep:

Verdant Earl said...

It got down into the teens by me.

No comparison, is it? Sorry.

Mrs. Hall said...

No, it's no biggie there. Glad you stopped by.


hee hee

Did you read the part about the snow snapping my snow scraper in half?


I mean really, was that necessary?


Kate said...

Holy Broken Ice Scrapers Holly Hall! And here I was griping because it's ZERO degrees here in Maine this morning.. IT sucks and I question my sanity for choosing to live in this wild snowy country.

However, the description of your Happy Happy Pancake makes it all better. :)

Ho ho ho to you Holly Hall and all your little Hall's! Keep those cheeks covered.

Marie said...

I just broke out in a huge, all over, chill bump while reading your post.

I am in texas and I think my nipples would fall clean off if I lived where you live.

Have a great day and Merry Christmas!!

Mrs. Hall said...

Kate: You are no longer a lurker! YEAH!! Yes, the snow broke my scraper. Well, it was really my fault. After all, I have been spreading the hate about snow. I think I had it coming . . .

Marie: Welcome to the blog de Senora Hall! I am glad you enjoyed your stay. And I wish I were in Texas too :)

Anonymous said...

So, last night Berg and I had a babysitter, and were excited about having the place all to ourselves. (you know what that means, Mrs!)
We pulled into the driveway, and I looked up and noticed icicles hanging from the wall under the bathroom.(it's two stories) I thought to myself, 'Huh, that's odd.' It hasn't rained, or snowed, it's just hovering around Zero degrees out! When we stepped out of the car, we heard water gushing. Oh Shiz! A waterpipe had burst in the bathroom/laundry room. We walked in to find 3 inches of water from the bathroom forward to the living room. We shut the water off outside and began shop vac'ing water up, and also had to tear out the freezing cold soaked carpet and padding. It was fecking bitter cold! The water that we splashed out onto the deck froze within thirty minutes. It will be a Christmas miracle if I don't #1-catch pneumonia #2-catch a nervous breakdown.
Hope you have a happy holiday, though.
Keep the straps handy just in case...'they're coming to take me away Ha Ha, they're coming to take me away!'

GeologyJoe said...

happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy.

Mrs. Hall said...

Cam: Oh no!! Pipes! UG!

I will keep the straps close at hand just in case ;)

Geo-Joe: You said it!!

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