Monday, February 9, 2009

The new skill of shushing on shrinkage wednesday

Ironically enough, I am not a big fan of Bjork. Well, maybe I haven't heard the right music.


I am not sure how Jeff figured it out, but he did. After all, he is quite handsome and gainfully employed. Plus, he is very charming and self assured. And so nice. He had his pick of thousand girls. Yet, he choose me with singular purpose. He figured out who I was before I did.

When he met me, I wore my hair like Bjork, was about 165 pounds and required a lot of care. Let me tell you the level of care I once required. Lord help me, here goes.

When we were dating I would visit his house on the weekend. I would bring my dishes. My dishes people.

So he could put them in his dishwasher.

Despite the fact that I had a communal kitchen across from my dorm room.

It boggles the mind, this event. It boggles my mind because it made perfect sense to me at the time. And he saw this, that it made sense to me. And he didn't run for the hills. He saw that I was capable of much more than I was. And for the most part, he didn't say much about who I was or how I operated. Well, except for the hair.

Babe, he said, the tail pipes gotta go, they are not attractive.

He also suggested there just might be a better way to eat. Exercise might be something I could do once in a while. He was gentle about it. Never pushy, never mean. Just gentle suggestions once in a while. Suggestions that we could be different, we didn't have to get fat like everyone else in this state. And I fought it like a cat trapped in a cardboard box.

But, that was ten years ago. My overall healthiness has waxed and waned. I have better getting better all along, with a few set backs here and there. A few weeks ago, I figured out what has been holding me back from permanent change.

My thinking. My inner voice. My own talk.

Again, I can over think things to the point where I can't move. Paralyzed by my own voice.

So, on Sunday, I learned how to shut the hell up.

When I had the chance I bolted for the gym. I worked it like no other. All that yoga has prepped me for pushing beyond my comfort zone. I was prepared to ignore and extinguish the tiny doubting voices, the murmurs of self consciousness and the blathering on of freight.

I can honestly say, don't believe everything you think or feel.

The tailpipes, I must agree, were not attractive :)

Me and the wee pancake :)

5 Left a message at the beep:

Kate said...

Hey, anybody who had the balls to wear those Bjork tailpipes on their head is alright by me! It's pretty clear to me you can do anything you set your mind to!

Cute pic! You do resemble the singer a little bit!

Bruce said...

You brought over your dirty dishes?! Red Flag......I would have run for hills.....Kudos to Mr. Hall for sticking it out.

Holly Hall said...

Kate: yes, my will is strong when I have an idea or goal in sight. hee hee

Bruce: Yes, it boggles the mind. I mean come on, dishes? I am equally floored that Mr. Hall had some sort of faith and insight into the fact that I would change. Which, I have. thank goodness!!

:)

Big Pissy said...

That Mr. Hall is quite a guy.

And you and the pancake are adorable! :)

Holly Hall said...

Pissy: Yeah, he is something alright. And the wee pancake and i so make a striking pair :) Thanks :)

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