And that's when I snapped . . . .

That dog up there, that dog is my dog. His name is Henry, he's a rottweiler. He came fully trained and full of love. I loved him back. Everyone loves Henry. He is a good dog. No, wait . . . he is the best dog.

About a year ago he developed a limp. It came and went. We did nothing, no vet trips. We blamed it on not walking him so much after the second baby. Then the limp grew undeniable and off to the vet he went. We got the news about 2 months ago. Cancer is growing from the inside of his left front leg. Right about the time I moved up here.

Henry stayed behind with my husband. Thus, I haven't seen him much, except on weekends. This weekend Henry moved up for good. I wasn't really prepared for it. Denial is a comfy place. I was forced to leave it as I watched Henry this weekend, all boney, Limp, limp, limpy. Big fatty turmor globbed on the leg.

Then I had to deal with getting his pain meds.

Stupid vet from two hours away, stupid petmeds.com, stupid stupid stupid. Then I took matters into my own hands, came up with a plan. I told Mr. Hall about it, whilst getting my oil changed. It was a quick-e-lube. My windows were rolled up because of the smells. The oil change guys were giving me hand signals to pop the hood. I was on my cell phone.

"I've made an appointment to get him established here so I don't have call and frick around with getting his meds."

Mr. Hall said, "Wait, just have the vet fax the prescription up there or try again with petmeds . . . "


And that's when I snapped.


I just started yelling and sobbing at my husband. Big fat tears popping down my cheeks. "DAMMIT, look!!! This is where we will help him, this is where it's going to happen!!!" Big heaving sobs.

I try to pull it together when I noticed both of the teenagers, all dark blue coveralls, standing there with a clip board, staring at me, looking helpless . . . um, ma'am, do you want the car wash with that? . . . .

I pulled it together and finished the job. Just like I will in a few months.

Mr. Hall and I have since talked. He didn't understand that I was just getting Henry established so he can get the care he needs. He thought I was getting a second opinion, getting a bunch of tests or something. Which we are not. I mean, at this point,

our goal .


is to keep him.


comfortable.

It sucks writing that. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks.

But if I write this here, I can begin to help myself not have freak outs whilst getting my oil changed. And that picture up there, that picture cheers me like no other.

I hope the picture cheers you too.

O... and the girl? Yeah, I am not sure who she is, but she keeps calling me Momma :)