Last night 12 women laid hands on me (repost)

Originally posted September 2010



Last night I gathered with my women's bible study group. We are studying The Book of Acts. It had been a lovely meeting with pastries and pleasantries. I was light hearted and smiley. Then it was time for prayer requests. People ask the group to pray for them for various reasons. Prayers for employment, for guidence on things, for healing and prayers for sick aunts. I was going to cop out and say something about praying for more patience with my patients. I felt the need to keep it light.

Instead, this came out:

"Well, maybe I should talk about what's really on my mind."

Then, I could barely choke it out. In the prior six months of last night, I've had two miscarriages. We are trying again and I'm scared. All of this is running through my mind and I'm weighing out my words. I'm measuring how to say this without losing it. But then, I seriously lost it. It came on like a hurricane and I COULDN'T USE MY WORDS.

I just kept heaving and choking forcing bits of words out. "Lost baby. . . six weeks . . discovered it with the ultrasound . . . we are . . . then we lost another . . three days after we tested . . ." I was all snot bubble cry. Unable to form sentences. And someone came behind me and rubbed my back. Another fetched tissue. "Trying again . . we are trying again. I'm so scared . . . I don't know what's happening . . . ". And I heaved and sobbed. Then it went softer and I started breathing a little bit more.

Then one of the women said, "I want to do a healing ritual. Let's do a laying on of hands. Is that ok?" She looked at me. This particular women had hugged me in church the week prior. She's a hugger. I let her hug me.

I really didn't know what "laying on of hands" was, but I said yes. And that photo up there, that's kind of what happened. Only that's not me. But, that up there, that's what happened!

Then the hugger said the words I couldn't say, all wrapped up in prayer. "Please Lord, let her lay down all the hurt and pain from losing her babies, let her give all the pain to you. Let her heal Lord. Let her know your love. Let her feel your presence her now."

At that point I was kind of freaked out because well, do you see the photo up there? Then I made a conscious decision to deep breathe and let it all come.

The women went on, "Lord let her know she doesn't have to carry this, this is yours, let her lay it down, right here, let her feel your arms lifting her up. Let her feel the joy of making another child, of creating a miracle. Lift her up lord, right here. Let her feel the joy."

And did I mention one of the women started speaking in tongues? DID I??
Speaking in tongues was a freshly explained concept to me, just that night in fact. It's in the Book of Acts.

This went on for about 20 minutes. All the while these hands were laid on me. Some where gripping, some were lightly touching and some were just laying there. It was kind of crazy but I let go and let it all happen.

And I can say this. Today I feel absolutely fabulous. I am joy upon joy. Praise be indeed ;)

This is why I married Mr. Hall, right here

Last night I had my women's bible study group come over. With women comes children. Children who need watching so we can focus on studying the word. Mr. Hall volunteered to hold all the kids and keep them occupied down stairs. Volunteered without me asking really.

A few of the women were suprised by this. "Oh", they said, "my husband would never volunteer for that!" They said this kind of whisper like and round eyed.

Which got me thinking about my level of neediness and all that Mr. Hall does for me.

And there is a lack of what I do for him. Which I'm working on. He asks for a back massage most nights and this is the only thing he ever asks of me and dang if I don't try. But I am much better at being his sustainer.

Which is what Eve was. Eve is often listed as the 'helper' of Adam but really, she is the sustainer.

With this in mind I am mindful to sustain Mr. Hall properly. My attitude, the words I say, my facial expressions, the feelings I exude, I directly affect the Mr. Hall. I take care to fuel him properly. And I'm getting better at it.

I was mulling this over last night and I said to him, "How do you do this, be a husband to such a needy wife?"

"Well, it's not like you became needy overnight. You were a pretty needy girlfriend too. I knew what I was getting in to. It's not a suprise or anything." Then he snuggled close and said, "I love you".

AND THAT'S WHY I MARRIED MR. HALL.

RIGHT THERE!!

Roman snobs

Genesis 2:25
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

To find more bible stories illustrated in lego-please see The Brick Testament

So. Went to 'couple's bible study' last night. We studied Romans 8:18-28. Feel free to peruse at your leisure.

The group is a mixture of couples, all manner of socio-economic status and educational background. There is mixture of marriage health too. Mr. Hall and I have master's degrees and can be classified as firmly middle class. Plus, we are still madly in love. I say this not to brag, but to be thankful for the opportunities I have had. I am also thankful that I had the fortitude and wherewithal to take advantage and make the most of those opportunities. I am not where I am by accident.

That being said.

Studying the bible is simple and hard at the same time. There is a lot of geography, culture and customs I am wildly unfamiliar with. Also, the wording can be bit like Shakespeare. A casual read through is not enough to break open the poetry, beauty and meaning. Hence the need for a structured bible study class.

Now, I remember way back in grade school when I first read Shakespeare. It was revolutionary to me. I never struggled with breaking the prose apart. I ferociously swam through the sea of iambic pentameter. I grooved on it like no other.

This has proved advantageous as I begin my bible study. But, it's also a disadvantage. I am over educated. I have been a student of the arts and a seeker of knowledge my whole life. As a result, I find myself getting all snobby during these sessions. This is no good.

I think that when people think of Christain people, they automatically think of them as simpletons. When I tell people I am a Christain, I am perceived as less smart. My IQ points are lowered. I know this is true because I do this with my Christain brethren. Oh yes, it's true. I judge the people in the group. Sometimes I think of them as simpler than me. I'm not proud of it, yet there it is.

But here's the thing. Faith is not grown with the smart side of the brain. Analytical prowess can help me digest the bible but it is only a tool for my heart. Reading and studying the bible is not an intellectual exercise for me. It's heavy lifting to strengthen my faith.

And I can say this, it feels awesome. I feel relief as I study this book. I feel swelling of my heart and my happiness. I feel myself becoming a better wife, Mom and nurse.

Fall brings anew

I didn't quite expect to be this way today. Well, this way the past week. But after I got dipped, and after multiple women's bible study nights and consistent church going, I feel a fundamental change happening. A change in me.

It's subtle, but it's there. It's all for the good though. I feel calmer, closer to the earth. There is less verbiage bouncing in my brain and I am here again.

It's affecting how I take in though. Like the shows I watch, the stripper stories from coworkers. All if it is affected. I've managed to play both sides for a while now, the angel and the devil. But the ugly is much less fun now. Less cheeky.

I feel like I'm leaving chunks of me behind. The chunks that were not really fun anyway. It's so weird all this changing. I should have known though. One can't get dipped and remain the same.

So, bare with me was I begin anew.

Thank you for letting me ramble on. :)

last night 12 women laid hands on me

Last night, at my women's bible study group, we were studying The Book of Acts. At the end of the meeting, as is our want, we take prayer requests. We all take turns and ask the group to pray for us with something that we need. It was a lovely meeting with pastries and pleasantries. I was light hearted and smiley. Then it was my turn. I was going to cop out and say something about praying for more patience with my patients.

Instead, this came out:

"Well, maybe I should talk about what's really on my mind."

Then, I could barely choke out the rest. The rest being that in the prior six months I've had two miscarriages and we are trying again and I'm scared. Then I seriously lost it. Snot bubble cry. One of the women came behind me and started rubbing my back. Another ran and got a tissue. It just came out like a hurricane and then I lost the power to use my words. I COULDN'T USE MY WORDS.

Then one of the women said, "I want to do a healing ritual. Let's do a laying on of hands. Is that ok?" She looked at me. This particular women had hugged me in church the week prior. She's a hugger. I let her hug me.

I really didn't know what "laying on of hands" was, but I said yes. And that photo up there, that's kind of what happened. Only that's not me. But, that up there, that's what happened!

Then the hugger said the words I couldn't say, all wrapped up in prayer. "Please Lord, let her lay down all the hurt and pain from losing her babies, let her give all the pain to you. Let her heal Lord. Let her know your love. Let her feel your presence her now."

At that point I was kind of freaked out because well, do you see the photo up there? Then I made a conscious decision to deep breathe and let it all come.

The women went on, "Lord let her know she doesn't have to carry this, this is yours, let her lay it down, right here, let her feel your arms lifting her up. Let her feel the joy of making another child, of creating a miracle. Lift her up lord, right here. Let her feel the joy."

And did I mention one of the women started speaking in tongues? DID I??
Speaking in tongues was a freshly explained concept to me, just that night in fact. It's in the Book of Acts.

This went on for about 15 minutes. All the while these hands were laid on me. Some where gripping, some were lightly touching and some were just laying there. It was kind of crazy but I let go and let it all happen.

And I can say this. Today I feel absolutely fabulous. I am joy upon joy. Praise be indeed ;)

P.S. Maybe these are my sister wives in disguise no?

There was a poodle there last night

He kind of looked like this poodle here.


Last night I went a woman's house with 10 other ladies. It was a gathering of 'The Women's Group' from church. We ate finger sandwiches, drank lemonade and watched a video of a woman preacher. The video lasted about an hour.

Then we talked a bit. Although, the actual discussion happens two weeks from now. But, being women, we talked about how we felt and what the message meant to us. And it dawned on me-this was the first time I have ever gathered with a group of people and talked about my growing faith. It first time I said these things out loud to someone other than my husband.

This rocked my world in no small way.

At the end, when we were all gathering our purses and putting on our sandals. One of the ladies came up to me and said, "This is my first night at this group, how long have you been coming?"

Then I said, "This is my first night too!", and I smiled.

Then she looked puzzled and said, "Oh Wow! I really thought you had come before, like you already belonged."

And on the way home it struck me, I already do.

:)