The crazy is melting out of my body

When Mr. Hall goes on these out of state business trips, I flip into single mom mode. I rush around, checklist and struggle to do things he does. I get more absentminded, look disorganized and a bit crazy.

Last Sunday, I was in a leadership meeting at church. The Mr. Hall and I are going to be leading a couple's bible study group. Mr. Hall, being elsewhere, was not there. But I was, in all my distracted, dizzy glory.

Normally, these types of meetings are cause to pause, to gain introspection. To feel the love of others as we gather to celebrate God's love. Sadly, I'm so wound up, so checklist, that I wasn't there in that way. But, for a brief second I saw myself. It was like an out-of-body experience.

It happened at the end of the meeting. The pastor laid out expectations of the leaders. The pastor said, "No sex outside marriage, no gossiping and tithing". My head went into checklist mode. But I missed part of what he said. So I blurted out:

"OK WHAT WAS THE MIDDLE THING?? I HEARD THE PART ABOUT NO SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE AND TITHING BUT WHAT WAS THE MIDDLE THING??"

I said it REALLY LOUD. I used my outside voice!! I was a bit embarrassed but dang, I was more shocked. And I came to the conclusion that all this spun up and running around is just crazy. It's me being crazy and I need to stop.

So I am. I'm taking time to paint my toes and take baths. To watch comedies on Hulu and enjoy people when they talk to me. I've slowed down. And it's much better. The crazy is melting out of my body.

And I have volume control now.

Have a good weekend all! :)

Roman snobs

Genesis 2:25
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

To find more bible stories illustrated in lego-please see The Brick Testament

So. Went to 'couple's bible study' last night. We studied Romans 8:18-28. Feel free to peruse at your leisure.

The group is a mixture of couples, all manner of socio-economic status and educational background. There is mixture of marriage health too. Mr. Hall and I have master's degrees and can be classified as firmly middle class. Plus, we are still madly in love. I say this not to brag, but to be thankful for the opportunities I have had. I am also thankful that I had the fortitude and wherewithal to take advantage and make the most of those opportunities. I am not where I am by accident.

That being said.

Studying the bible is simple and hard at the same time. There is a lot of geography, culture and customs I am wildly unfamiliar with. Also, the wording can be bit like Shakespeare. A casual read through is not enough to break open the poetry, beauty and meaning. Hence the need for a structured bible study class.

Now, I remember way back in grade school when I first read Shakespeare. It was revolutionary to me. I never struggled with breaking the prose apart. I ferociously swam through the sea of iambic pentameter. I grooved on it like no other.

This has proved advantageous as I begin my bible study. But, it's also a disadvantage. I am over educated. I have been a student of the arts and a seeker of knowledge my whole life. As a result, I find myself getting all snobby during these sessions. This is no good.

I think that when people think of Christain people, they automatically think of them as simpletons. When I tell people I am a Christain, I am perceived as less smart. My IQ points are lowered. I know this is true because I do this with my Christain brethren. Oh yes, it's true. I judge the people in the group. Sometimes I think of them as simpler than me. I'm not proud of it, yet there it is.

But here's the thing. Faith is not grown with the smart side of the brain. Analytical prowess can help me digest the bible but it is only a tool for my heart. Reading and studying the bible is not an intellectual exercise for me. It's heavy lifting to strengthen my faith.

And I can say this, it feels awesome. I feel relief as I study this book. I feel swelling of my heart and my happiness. I feel myself becoming a better wife, Mom and nurse.