Zombie Film Contest Winner

The film at the center of the contest:

Alice Jacobs is Dead



The contest was this, write three sentences about why you love Zombie films and Mr. Hall will pick the winner. The winner gets the movie in the mail.

The Entries (in the order in which they were received):

1. Brown from Chronicles of a Brown Man:

"I love zombie movies because they are a mosh pit of human conflict and emotion. Also, they make me wonder if those who pledge that inevitable promise will be able to pull the trigger when the time comes. And, quite frankly, it's the only time other than being stranded in the Andes when eating other people is totally acceptable."

2. Green Girl from Green Girl from Wisconsin:

"They're already dead, so no rules apply to zombies except total annihilation. And they're carnivores, which always makes for better plotting."


3. Slyde from Slyde's House of Pancakes:

"I think the zombie genre scares the hell outta me because the type of fright you get with zombies is unique. They dont jump out at you, or suddenly pounce on you and rip you to bits, or run spring out from under your bed. No, a good zombie film is a slow boil of terror, as the threat slowly gets worse, and closer, ever closer, until the terror-stricken victims realize that they have no where else to turn."

4. Mel from Luna Secrets

"Zombie Movies, how do I love? Let me count the ways..... ever since I was scarred as a child, having seen Night of the Living Dead at the movie theater, and imagined them walking out of the woods or fields at every house I've lived in since - I've been smitten, or bitten with being scared by zombies. I can't pass up a zombie movie, be they awful (C.H.U.D.), frightful (28 days later), hilarious (Shaun of the dead, Zombieland), heartwrenching (Colin) or just plain cheesy (Zombie Honeymoon). The thought of watching a touching, well acted indie zombie movie with Adrienne Barbeau (Escape from New York!!)makes me very, very happy."


I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO ENTERED. THE LOVE OF ZOMBIES IS A TABOO LOVE THAT OFTEN DOES NOT SPEAK IT'S NAME.

So often when a group of people talk about movies they like, they speak of bland, unoriginal fare. It is rare, the Zombie movie goer. So rare!

So thank you for saying it loud and proud!!

And these entries blew away. I had to lean on Mr. Hall to make the choice.



And the winner is:


Brown


That's the one Mr. Hall choose. SO BROWN! Email me at Butcher dot hollow at gmail

I will send the film post haste!

But for the rest of you! THANK YOU AND KEEP THE ZOMBIE LOVE ALIVE!!!

Alice Jacobs is Dead: A blogger contest giveaway

Most Zombie films revolve around the beginnings and aftermath of an Zombie virus outbreak. There are often large hoards of Zombies, milling about, moaning and eating brains. A group of survivors then form an uneasy alliance and begin to blow their heads off. It's a good time to explore the themes of manning up, making due and persevering. Good times are to be had I tells ya, good times.

But.

What if a Zombie film was smaller? What if there were no hoards of Zombies, just a married couple. A scientist and his wife. What if the scientist was doing the best he could to delay his wife's death? And what if she was, as the title tells us, already dead?

His love is Adrienne Barbeau aka "Adriene Barbeau Fucking Rocks" as adored by Final Girl.

And trust me people, she is worthy of the title.



At the center of this film is a love that aches out loud. It's the love that makes the scientist husband do what he does. I can't say I blame him. I can't blame the wife either, because she has her say in all this too.

(wee hee hee!)

Either way, this film rocks. And now I want to give it away. Sharing the joy as it were.

Here are the rules:

You tell me why you love Zombie films in three sentences or less. Mr. Hall will judge the entries and whoever wins will receive the DVD in the mail.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

So go now, to the comments, let me hear your Zombie love!

Good luck all!

You've got red on you.

oh my god.

this film.

so.awesome.

I would leave Mr. Hall for this movie.

There.

I said it.

Now go, exacerbate things!

Pontypool movie review, now with more Zombie love

In the words of the great Final Girl, whose site I adore like so many Zombies,

"BEWARE YON SPOILERS!"

Zombie movies often traffic in reliable elements. For instance, there will always be nonsensical, dirty hordes of Zombie people. They will gather and move en masse. They go around moaning, walking crooked and eating brains. They bite non-Zombies thus infecting them with Zombie germs, which perpetuates the species.

Then, there is a group of non-zombies. These people make up the heroes of the story. The heroes are often slow in realizing there are hordes of Zombies outside their very doors. Also, they are slow in figuring out what made it all happen. But, eventually the heroes get their act together and fight a righteous fight. All good fun.

With that being said, is it possible to create mind bending originality with a Zombie film? Is it possible to scare the viewer, this viewer, even if she knows all of the above? Even if she has average to above average writing skills and can thus predict a lot of dialogue and plot devices?

HUH??!!

In the case of Monty Pool, you bet yer sweet bippy!!

The heroes of this story are a radio disk jockey and his producer. The radio station is set in Canada. Snowy, cold Canada. The disk jockey is a bit of a crank ass and wears a black cowboy hat. He also hates his job. He wants to be big and famous. Yet there he is, stuck in small town Canada. Announcing school closings. Again, he's a bit of a crank ass.

The producer calms and cajoles a decent morning program from yon cranky DJ.

Now, let's take a moment to get some visuals. Because 95% percent of this film takes place in a basement with our two heroes. In a radio studio.

This is Mazzie. The aforementioned DJ.

Here is the producer, being patient and cajoling.



Now, about 15 minutes into the morning program, reports start trickling in about a group of protesters. A horde of chanting people, because yes o yes! The Zombie invasion HAS BEGUN!

But wait. There's less.

Not more.

What got me clutching Mr. Hall, what made me literally say to myself, over and over again, "This is just a movie!", what scared the crap out of me, was the sheer spookiness of the unseen. The verbiage! The actual Zombies don't show up until well past the half way mark. Yet there I was, freaking out because of the Zombies.

This is a testament to the actors. Because really, it's all them. The DJ goes on describing reports of protesters. Protesters who are busting into buildings and killing people. Making these musical chanting noises. It's all his words describing the action.

Words people, WORDS!

And here I am, the viewer, knowing it's just words and facial expression. Knowing it's just a movie. Yet there it is, scaring the crap out of Mrs. Hall. And you think it wouldn't work, but goddamn! It did!

After there is confirmed wonkiness of Zombie action going on, the task of the heroes is to figure out what to do.

First, they must freak out. I'm freaking out too!

Then the heroes must figure out how this is happening. What is causing the protesters to gather, to kill and then eat the innards? What is the cause of all this? How is it spreading??!!!

THIS IS WHERE THE FILM GETS BRILLIANT!

It isn't Zombie bites. Or a virus or nuclear radiation. No!! It's sound. Words are the carrier of the Zombie illness. Which makes the setting of a radio station all the more brilliant of a setting, no? Because a radio station transmits words and sounds. And the Zombies being to hone in on the radio station. After all, that's where the words are coming from!

Thus the Zombies bust into the radio station. Breaking glass all that.

But here's the thing, the DJ and the producer are in sound proof booth. They are making the sounds but cannot be heard directly. So the Zombies gather around the glass. Bashing into it. This is the first glimpse of the Zombies. Making a mess of the glass. It's gross.

The first Zombie appears.



Then lots of Zombies.



Bumping up against the soundproof both, over and over, trying to get at the sound. It's really gross.



But, eventually they realize they get can't get at the sound by bumping against the glass. They wander off toward the speaker. But again, they leave quite the mess.



So, at this point in the film the heroes have figured out sounds and words are infecting people. Making them very ill indeed. But which words? And what is the cure?

I'm not going to tell you!

MWHAHAA HAA!!!

But, I'll give you a hint. A riddle really. When does a word lose it's meaning?

When does a word lose it's meaning?

Well, you'll just have to watch the film. Which was a phenomenally freaky ride. It's heartwarming actually. Raised my spirits beyond belief. Because I now know there are a whole host of films out there, all having what I like the best.

Which is originality. And writing that drives both crazy character development and the movie itself. Without getting all Jane Austen or Precious! Movies that are smart and freaky! And let we forget, I LOVE ME SOME ZOMBIES!!

It's a love I'm passing down to my kids. See, look at yon youngin' Halls. She how they do the Zombie!





Ok good, now go! Find the movie and watch it! CATCH THE ZOMBIE FEVAH!!!

You'd tell us if was a Zombie bite,... right?

Stolen from a lovely redhead's blog. A blog that I can't figure out to how to comment on. (little help here)

"I'm Burning Bridges & Sinking Ships"

Wax on/wax off, the sex face and killing Zombies that were Left 4 Dead

It happens every time when I get my eyebrows waxed.

I lay down on a table, close my eyes and relax my hands. I deep breathe and repeat the word "bird" over and over in my brain. It is a mantra to relax me.

Yet, every damn time, it happens.

First, the girl takes a cotton ball and smooths the hair with rubbing alcohol. Then I see her stirring the wax with a popsicle stick. I close my eyes. I feel the warm, hot wax coat my lower brow. It grips the skin and I feel tugging while she smooths it on. Then she takes muslin cloth and smooths that down, pressing hard with her index fingers.

At this point my eyes have teared up. Only my eyes are shut, so the tears are gunky and gluey. My eyelids are cemented to my eyeballs.

RIP!!!

I try not to flinch but my whole body jerks. I pry open my eyes. My gluey tears spill out like a bucket of hot baby oil was kicked over.

This is repeated RIP!!!
three RIP!!!
moreRIP!!!

times to finish waxing the brows of Mrs. Hall.

It's embarrassing. And despite my deep breathing and mantras IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING!! I mean, it's not that painful. I have no idea what the hell my deal is with this.

And the women that wax my brows? They often have a look of horror/concern on their faces. And I try to explain, that really, I'm just a wuss. A scaredy cat. No cause for alarm.

The woman last night, she didn't react this way. She just smiled gently. And she was really kind. She wiped my tears and said, it's ok, we are almost done.

It's ok, we are almost done, she said.

And when she painted my toes, she was really kind. She spent a good 15 minutes creating little flower designs on my toes. She didn't hurry or linger. It was just the right amount of attention. Which is the hard part for me, during these appointments. The attention.

It is most difficult during the pedicure. While tending to the toes, the women often massage the foot/lower leg. I have to consciously relax during this. Massage has a paradoxical effect on me.

It tenses me. gaaahh... touching .... gaaahhh... stranger ...... And I don't want to appear LIKE THE FREAK I AM WHO DOESN'T LIKE MASSAGES so I just really try to stay calm and nice. And quiet.

Above all, I try to stay quiet. Which, considering she didn't really speak English, was not that hard.

But, when I was tearing up during the wax, it set off real sadness. Real tears on the inside. I think she sensed that and was really nice to me. Not nice in a 'I'm doing this for the tips' kind of way but really nice. She took care while she tended to me.

Then I came home and was really nice to Mr. Hall. He was playing one of his favorite computer games, Left 4 Dead. Which involves killing Zombies. I gave him a thorough scalp, neck and shoulder message. All while he killed Zombies.



Lots and lots and lots of Zombie killing to be had in that game.



This game is a group type game. Each player is part of a team. You log on and join in. It is very interesting listening to the chatter of other players, hearing Australian or German accents. But, you work as a team, going around killing zombies, helping bandage each other up when somebody gets shot.



Helping each other out is essential, you can't survive any other way.



Mr. Hall speaks softly while killing scores and scores of Zombies. It's like he's in a meditative trance. He really must like this game. After all, the entire time, when chasing and shooting with his hands on the keyboard, he kept making sex faces. The kind of faces he makes, well, the kind of faces he makes while being very nice to me ;)

URGENT ALERT: ZOMBIES ATTACK ON MOTHER'S DAY!!!

ATTENTION ALL MOTHERS:

SIDEWALK PAINT IS NOW KNOWN TO

CAUSE ANY CHILD UNDER 7

TO TURN INTO A ZOMBIE!!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

TAKE HEART

THE CONDITION IS ONLY TEMPORARY, YOUR CHILD

SHOULD RETURN TO NORMAL

WHEN THE PAINT IS WASHED OFF!

THIS WILL ONLY WORK IF YOUR CHILD

WAS NOT A ZOMBIE

IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

(snicker snicker)

I AM BLESSED BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!

Now go! Give a Mom a hug!!!

(maybe even yours ;)

I love me some Zombies

Tomorrow, I will have the day off.

Last time I had the day off, I watched SIX HOURS of america's next top model.

My brain hasn't been working right since.

So! I plan on doing some repair work by watching Shaun of the Dead.

BEST. ZOMBIE. MOVIE. EVER.

Here is a clip that I hold dear to my heart. Note the faint SKA music in the background. Note the seething rage the blond has for the situation, in that very girl gritting of the teeth, passive aggressive kind of way.

SEETHING RAGE!!



The best part of Shaun of the Dead?

Why, it's the part where our hero goes into the quik-e-mart, gets a soda out of the cooler, turns around slipping on some blood--almost falling on his ass, and then flips some change at the cashier. The Zombie Cashier.

And he has no idea about any of it.

(alas no clip on youtube for that!)

The part where he slips though, good lord, that is the best. Belly laughs people, BELLY LAUGHS AWAIT ME!!

SO YOU!

What is you favorite part of Shaun of the Dead?

ZOMBIES!!! Oh, how I love me some zombies

(The left click button also functions as virtual Viagra, go ahead click and see)
Check out the movie star names ;)

B.E. Earl has notified his readers of the best use of 45 minutes ever. Or 20 or 10 or 5 minutes, depending on how fast you work.

well, not the best use, but pretty damn close.

go ahead now, give it a try, you know you want to. CLICK HERE!

Then, send me the results:

butcher(dot)hollow(at)gmail(dot)com

Will post all sorts of Zombie love when I receive them.

Zombies

My daughter, the wee Pancake, said, "Lets do a puzzle and then the Zombie."

The Zombie is the dance we do whilst watching "Thriller" by Michael Jackson. It is a gem of a video. It is earnest and forthright, and a testament to the pre-freak Michael.

Anyway, Mr. Hall was teaching Pancake the delicate Zombie dance moves. Her tiny brother, Mac-N-Cheese, was on my hip. And we all danced the Zombie dance. It was awesome. And a perfect way to start a Saturday morning. God I love my family.

Zombie on!!