Monday, June 18, 2012

Letting it come

The above photo is all that survived last year's mass give away of maternity, baby and kid clothes. I gave away 8-12 honking rubbermaid containers because after my last miscarriage, I was done.

Turns out, I just needed to heal. Thus, some five months after the loss, Mr. Hall provided wonderful lubrication in the form of what he called 'tropical juice'. Through drunken slurs, the truth came out. I wasn't done. I wanted to have another baby. I wanted the two babies we had lost. He wanted to try again too.

And God has blessed us with more baby belly and I couldn't be happier.

Everybody dance!

It's still shocking, seeing me like that.

That being said, when family and friends heard of my mass purge, they promptly deluged me with this.

There are another two rubbermaid containers not pictured. I am humbled, bereft of words to explain how this feels. I mean, YOWZA! People are too kind and it's hard to accept this kindness. But I did. And now my kid now has enough clothes to last for two years!!!

I tried not to fight it but all of this is making my cry for happy and just languish in the goodness.


I'm still in shock over the whole thing. I mean, am I really five months pregnant? My coworkers are figuring it out. My patients are figuring it out. I'm figuring it out too.

Mr. Hall is not in shock.

He believed all along.

I guess I just needed a little help with letting go. Letting go of my shock, of my denial and my sad. This baby is so squirmy and strong. I feel him kick all the time. I can breathe now, hold him in my belly for a few more months and love on him.

Then, God willing, he comes out all pink and screamy. Then I will hire a marching band and go up and down the street!



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