Taco

Brought Mac to the doctor last week. His counselor suggested trailing a longer acting ADHD med so off to the doctors we went. His pediatrician is a chatty one. All head tilt concern and gentle laughter. Super encouraging and thoughtful with an ironman watch.  Mr. Hall loves him. He loves the banter. The doctor annoys the crap out me.

It's not him. It's just in the way, all this jibber jabber.  I don't need conversation. I don't need nice. I just want in and out. Especially since my 9 year old ADHD is bouncing off the walls and whenever he gets asked a question, he says, "Taco."

It goes like this.

The good doctor: "How are you today Mac? Still in, what is it..3rd grade?"

My son, in a robot voice: "Taco."

TGD: "Now Mac, when an adult asks you a question, you need to look him in the eye and answer. That's respectful."

MS: "Taco."

ME: "MAC. Answer the doctor's questions."

MS: "yyeeaaassss.....3rd graaayyyyaaaade...........Taco."

Then he lays on the floor and starts kicking the exam table legs and I start to lose my mind.

up in here....up in here....

I realize the good doctor is trying to coach him and help me, but he's doing neither. I just need him to write out the script. That's all. In fact, this could have done this over the effing phone. It seems the good doctor is a HUGE fan of the med suggested. I guess he just wanted to chat with me. And THAT'S why Mr. Hall brings the kids to the doctor.

Meds.

I prescribe them btw. Mental health meds. For adults. I know lots of stuff about them but when it comes to Mac, I leave it up to the professionals. I'm his mom, not his treatment team.

It sure feels like it though. Especially with stuff at his gifted school. I love his school. They're really pro-Mac. They love saying, "Because he's gifted...",  and they're super supportive. But this school is hard work. This is new to him and he struggles. And when he struggles, he goes all taco. So,  I listen to what the teachers need from him and I figure out a way to get it out of him.  I refuse to let him languish because well...he is gifted.  

I've come to realize Mac lives in his own little world. He likes it there. He still likes people though. He interacts at boys scouts and basketball pretty well.  His heart is so huge it's probably bigger than Texas. But around strangers he freezes up and gets all Taco. His gifts and his heart get locked away. I'm ok with that. Maybe that's why the doctor bugged me so much.

Don't try and change the TACO.

The taco will is just fine and all this will morph into one gigantic, awesome young man. The young man will morph into a loving husband and stellar dad. I know this. I know God has plans for him that will surpass anything I can imagine. But for now. Taco.

So let me share rainbows of hope and goodness.

We went to hockey game this weekend. We really went for the wiener dog races. He sat the most of the time and did really well. No kicking the chair in front of him. No getting up and down or begging for food. No taco. He smiled and laughed and fought with his sister all normal like. Then, on Sunday, he popped out of bed wanting to go to church. We are trying a new, smaller church. He had a blast. Loved it! Renewed him with all sorts of energy.

It's going to be ok people.

so.  

Go forth and....

Taco.  



My son the genius

Merry Christmas everyone ;)

 

If there was a picture to explain my son, it's that one right there.

He's been on behavior plans since 4k. Recently we had him tested for ADHD which came up flaming positive. Not.a.shock.  But, it also came up positive for him being a genius. Like Mensa material. This was a shock. We knew he was smart but genius? Really?

It's going to be really tough what I have to write next and if my son is reading this, PLEASE UNDERSTAND... I'm writing this when you are nine years old. And this last six months has rocked our world with you.

He's started a new genius school which is teaching him French and Chess and Fancy Smart things I learned in high school. Again, he's NINE. He's making jokes about binary code. He discusses cloning sheep. We had a discussion about communism the other day. This school is unlocking higher levels of understanding for him and it's blowing me away. It's also highlighting his social difficulties.

My son is passionate, tender hearted and reactive. He is spirited but very introverted. He got kicked off the bus because he wouldn't listen to the driver.

He is strong willed. He doesn't like doing what he isn't wanting to be doing. He's kinda loud and dramatic. SHUT UP I KNOW THESE ARE DESCRIPTORS OF ME.

What to do though? How do we  handle this kid that is not doing well in the 'cooperating with others' and 'having a hard time making friends' and 'doesn't realize other kids are making fun of him' category. And that he fights us tooth and nail about most everything and we.are.tired.

Did I mention we're opening our house up to other foster kids next month? Because ya know, we are ready...

I'm reading this wonderful book called "Raising your spirited child" (google it--it's FANTASTIC).

It seems that the crazy smart part of our son does not translate into social skills. In fact, it makes them worse. At his gifted school they have social skills training built into the curriculum. Because being a genius often comes with social issues.

I'm starting to fundamentally think differently about him. I'm setting aside our want for him to display respect and tow the line. I'm listening and responding to his emotional needs first. We can let him be angry, sad, balled up and shut down. Pushing against this is not helpful.

If he wants to go in another room to eat, I let him. If he wants to keep playing something before he does his chore, I let him. He'll need to ask first but I let him. If he wants to do origami until his fingers go numb I let him. If he's screaming and worked up because we want him to shower, I slow things down. If he cries because we are making him walk the dog I let him breathe and not force. He needs to work with his strength and genius quirks. It's his life. It's who he is. Working against that is an exercise in frustration.

But we can work with him.......that is something we're planning.....

Our kid is spirited. Like the book says, he is "MORE" than others so he'll need "MORE" parenting.

But make no mistake. This is kid is huge with heart and crazy smarts. The Lord has plans for him that I can't even imagine. I'm so excited for him and so proud.

Even if I do pray for his future wife.... she'll need to have a light heart and ninja organizational skills!!