Wednesday's Shrinkage and Word Association: Elevate

"Chocolate Moose"-get it? (hee hee)

This week, it's a twofer.


Update on the health efforts and word association. (if you would like to leave a word to be associated with, please leave one in the comments :)

(Apologies for the length.)

Word associated: Elevate
Suggested by: James

The word elevate is a nice one. It makes me think of lifting or raising up. Which leads me to the word 'ambition'. Which I never thought applied to me.

Yet, there is evidence to the contrary.

When I decided to become a nurse, I knew I would become one. Yet still, I was a lazy student. I worked hard, learned what I needed to learn. And somewhere along the line, "nurse" was cemented into my DNA.

As such, when I went back to become a nurse practitioner, I found myself in the same pattern of learning because it was required to learn. There was passion for nursing, but not for most aspects of learning.

Until . . . . . .


I steered my attention to psychiatric nursing. I was lit up with such fervor I could have powered Las Vegas. And it was hard, switching to psychiatric care. Psychiatric nursing is like no other type of nursing. Completely foreign to me. I struggled and stumbled at first. A lot of struggle and stumbling. But dammit.

Failure was not even remotely possible. I absolutely knew I had the chops to thrive and grow in this field of nursing. I worked very, very hard. And then, I worked even harder. And here I am, a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. Not too shabby.

This was my first brush with ambition, seeking to elevate myself.

Before this, I think of how it came about that I met Mr. Hall. I remember wanting to become a wife and a mother. I opened 'yahoo' personal ad. I scanned the other ads like job applicants. This is one of keys to the successful marriage before me. Picking the absolutely right guy.

And then my kids. I know the exact hour they were conceived. When I was given the green light, I tracked my ovulation in all the ways one can. It has been the only time in my marriage when I've had to wake my husband up, rouse him from a dead sleep even, to get the job done. Twice a day at times. Honestly, I overpowered his libido. This was unheard of before or since. But, once the green light apears again, well, it's on.

And now, I seek to elevate my health. My next goal is to tap into my ambition. I have already used some to learn how to cook. Really cook. With spices and everything. I am learning how to chop, sauté, mix vegetables and sauces. I am learning how to use spices to give my dishes flavor that lingers and loves.

During all of this, my mom is being a shithead. Well, sometimes. She rolls her eyes, makes comments and generally displays her disdain for the way I cook. She feels it is a rejection of her. Which it is really. Well, not her, but the fact that she was 253 lbs at my wedding. My kids will not know how that feels.

Now, let me pull back. The goal of working out. I must use my passion to get there. I can visualize the results, know they are completely achievable. And fucking get out of here and kick some ass.