Met my ob this morning, he seems nice

I told myself I wouldn't test until about 3 months in. Then, I was at the grocery store and spotted $1.00 pregnancy tests right by the check out. They were marked down to 50 cents! I grabbed one at the last minute. I told my husband I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to know. He said, "I'm suprised you didn't test in the store!"

That was two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I said I wasn't going to contact an OB-GYN doctor until I was 3 months along. Then, last week, I started spotting a little. It stopped right away. Which can be perfectly normal. The ob had me do tests and come in for an ultrasound. The scan was this morning.

The little bean is 4 mm and has a strong heartbeat. He said everything looks good and I can keep on doing what I'm doing. He was nice. Talked slow. Had warm hands which was nice. I am 6 weeks one day pregnant.

During the ultrasound I started to cry. I cried for happy, I cried for scared, I cried for crazy and I cried for sad. I feel shell shocked. I feel like I want to crawl inside my own body and hold my little grain of rice size baby and tell her I love her. Because I do.

I thought I had all this under control. I thought I had my emotions all healed and the crazy was healed. I thought a lot of things. Turns out I was wrong.

And this is ok.

Today I will go back to work and be all professional. In my quieter moments I will lose my shizzle and cry some more.

So.

Let's all hold hands and bow our heads because the Tribe Called Hall has been blessed with another miracle. Let's give thanks and praise. This miracle that has a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg way to grow. But we love her. And we'll love her all the way. :)

Fresh, hot photos here!

Red sky at night

Five weeks today

Making them pose for their supper

To test for drunkness at my work

Wise sign at St. Vinnies

Glorious Sky


Monkey love

ALL PHOTOS BY ME AND MY CELL PHONE CAMERA :)

NEW HEADER PHOTO!!

It's about time I started using my own photos.

Feel free to let me know whatcha think!

TTFN!

Bodypump class and my attitude adjustment

So, for the past 3 weeks I've been at Bodypump class starting at 5.15 am. It's like an aerobic class with weightlifting, all timed to techno versions of popular songs. It looks like that class up there. Our instructor is a man named Bob, who is about 50and complains about his knees sometimes. He sings along with the music and tells us what moves to do. People whoop and holler during the tough parts. I've started whoop a bit too. It's either that or I start flipping Bob off.

Yeah see, I'm not a fan of getting up early and getting pumped up for the day. But, I have a work out partner and dangnammit, I'm doing things I never thought possible. This is isn't all about me. Which is a nice change! And the more I do, the greedier I get. I'm going to spinning tomorrow where another teacher will yelp and push me. I hope to have warm thoughts about the spinning teacher. But, I'll probably have an attitude about it. Hopefully I'll hide it well.

Again, the urge to give the teachers the stink eye is strong. The voices in my head that SCREAM FOR ME TO GO BACK TO BED AND FERGET IT are strong. My crabby is strong. But, I'm a grown up and I can stick my fingers in my ears and say 'LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!' I can ignore the voices and crabby and just do this anyway. And sure enough, I am. The voices and crabby are getting quieter. Which is nice.

Then, there was last week.

I forgot my towel last week. The girl at the front desk said that I can use their towel for a fee of one dollar. Now, I'm a Christian woman, quiet, friendly even. So, I said, "A dollar? For a towel?" Then I felt the crazy rise up, deep crazy, ape shit crazy. I realized I was GLARING at her and ugly words were rushing to my mouth and I needed to dial that crap back on down!

I counted to ten in my head. I was still staring though. She went on to explain that I can add a towel fee to my membership for 10 dollars a month. Which is bullshiz because their 'towels' are no bigger than worn out hand towels. I was still staring at her.

I gently took the towel and went on my way.

I didn't pay the dollar fee. I've been back every week day since and she hasn't asked me for the dollar. But, I've remembered to bring my towel every day since, so there's that.

Small victories!

It's been too long

I've always wondered how blogs die. I mean, when I started this puppy, I would put out 1 or 2 posts A DAY. Long, chewy posts. Now it's been almost a month since my last post.

It's been too long!

But what can I say? I don't have any new news. Still working towards foster parenthood. Still working towards getting knocked up. Still enjoying my saucy life as a mom, wife and a nurse.

Been getting up at 4.45 am to work out with a friend. That is nice. I wouldn't go without her. Plus, she texts me with things like, "I'm on the toliet, see you in a few". And other such potty humor. She gets me.

Went to the fertility yoga class and with the Mommies that are on the NEED TO GET PREGNANT NOW-WHATEVER IT TAKES treadmill. Which I totally want to hug them about. I use to be on that treadmill and invited a bunch of yuck into my life as a result. I'm healed now, through the power of faith, and dangnammit, I want to hug the women in that class. I think my cheeriness falls on deaf ears. I'm at peace with all of this and their swirling crazily. Hugs to anyone that is trying to conceive (ttc) because God loves you and so do I.

Foster care is starting to scare the crap out of me. Not much more to say about that. I'll take it as it comes. Again, it's something I've given up to God. So, again, I feel peace.

So, I could go on and on about many things but there is nothing going on. I can say I get frustrated with the women folk in my life because FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY JUST SAY YES WHEN I INVITE YOU TO ZUMBA/DINNER/LUNCH/COFFEE/A WALK. Stop telling me you have to ask your husband if he'll watch the kids, stop telling me you're too busy because you can't say no to work/volunteer obligations cause that's your fault and just say yes to letting yourself grow outside your roles.

Sorry for the run on sentence.

But, it bugs me. I realize I have a golden husband that supports whatever I am and want to be. I realize I have boundaries with the obligations in my life and therefore have copious amount of awesome time. I realize I am unique in my fun loving side that can jump in and do pretty much everything and anything because I love adventure.

I realize I am unique in the respect.

Ok, 'nuff complaining.

I leave you with something my daughter said. She made a new friend and she's all excited. "I know she's going to be a good friend because she believes like me." And I said, "Believes what?"

"She believes that anything is possible, even that I can hold up a hotel with my pinky!"

(AWESOME!!)