Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Questions and answers

1. First off, why the hell can't I move the items at the bottom of the main page. My profile, my recent visitor and such are all suppose to be next to my posts NOT UNDER IT. But, no matter how many times I go to 'layout' and try to fix it, it never gets back to the way it was.

Anyone have any ideas?

1. My posts over at the Bonez site have prompted some questions. Questions from readers in real life and blog life. Questions best answered.

The posts: Mrs. Hall loses it: Part one, Mrs. Hall loses it: Part two

As I explained to Lotus07: Truth be told, it is my 'homework' from my counselor I saw while losing the weight. Also, I hadn't written anything for 10 years prior to this journal. And after I wrote this journal, I started this blog.

I don't believe the journals belong on this blog. They don't feel right being here. But, I believe they needed light. And if they inspire others (my hope) that would be awesome. Either way, they do no good just sitting here on my hard drive.

But, the story goes back a few weeks before the first journal entry. It involves Mr. Hall. Here is us a few months ago. I am the one in the brown jacket.


Here is me doing the yoga pose "Standing Bow". The goal is to pull your arm with your leg, like pulling a bow. And I do love that brown jacket. I am just tickled that I get to wear it again. It is such a stylish number. And I loove the jeans. In fact just wore those today!

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Back to the back story to those journals.

One day I had decided to begin eating chocolate chips out of the bag. Now, I have a low tolerance for such rich food. And I am hypersensitive to caffeine. Yet, I pounded a two pound bag over 14 hours or so. Fist full after fistful. I was very covert about it. Mr. Hall didn't know anything. And I knew it would make me very sick and very wired. But I did it anyway.

This was the last act in an increasingly self-destructive pattern with me. I had begun to hide food from Mr. Hall and binge. My weight was getting out of control. I think I just came to a breaking point with that bag of chips. I threw my hands up and sought out a counselor.

As I started to lose the weight, I started to get angry. I was reconnecting with a body I long forgotten to care for. And the body was pissed!

It was ugly and very hard to deal with. Mr. Hall was at my side, as always, holding me. Turns out, he had known about the chips all along. He just didn't know how to help. But, just being there is all the help I needed. The real help was listening to my counselor, writing the journals and going to weight watchers. Yoga helped the most.

Overall, what I learned the most is this:

If women are to choose a battlefield to war with the world, they will first choose their bodies.

That's a Mrs. Hall original statement up there.

And as I lost the weight and went through all that came with reconnecting my heart body and mind, I got stronger than I ever imagined.

So take heart.

It gets worse before it gets better with those journals.

But, no pain, no gain.

(That's not an original saying ;)

If you want to get all up close with this issue, click here.

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8 Left a message at the beep:

Slyde said...

man, thats some powerfull stuff.. you're a pretty strong chickee for being able to see thru to the other side... good for u...

Mrs. Hall said...

I am a strong chickee.

I can bench press 250!

Well, no not really.

I can do girly push ups though!


Mrs. Hall

Slyde said...

mrs hall: i saw your comment on my blog and it left me scratching my head. did i spew hate somewhere inadvertantly? if i did, i certainly didnt mean it, and i apologize. you know that i think you're the bees knees..

Mrs. Hall said...

No Slyde! That was not directed at you.

But, um, it was directed at any potentional ne'er do wells.

After all I was sort of defending the woman.

This can provoke ugliness.

Which is not needed on my blog or yours.

I like you too.

In a fellow blogger who lives in Alaska kind of way.


Mrs. Hall

Bruce Johnson said...

"If women are to choose a battlefield to war with the world, they will first choose their bodies. "

...very quotable indeed.

Mrs. Hall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi said...

I liked the quote as well. I think there's a lot of truth to it.

Mrs. Hall said...

Lotus07: Yes, I agree, its a good quote.

I really think it explains what eating disorders are all about.

As much as society wants to blame the advertisements, Kate Moss, etc. The real culprit is how women and men are taught to internalize and deny their feelings. But they have to be dealt with somehow.
Hence the battlefield of the body.

Feel free to use the quote!


Mrs. Hall

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