Friday, October 3, 2008

Dear White Trash Mom:

Photo by: Lotus07, Models: unknown

Hypocrisy, (Lotus07 Blog)

Dear White Trash Mom:

I enjoyed our little chit- chat at the grocery store today. And thank you for letting my daughter tickle your baby girl's toes and coo over her. How old is she now, four months? Already getting her little baby teeth, so cute!! Most Mothers never let strange kids touch their babies. After all, kids are vectors.

And I do appreciate the discussion about clothes. I did mean what I said, your baby girl's dress was quite lovely. And yes, garage sales are so much fun!

But, can I speak to you for second? Mother to Mother? One white trash mom to another? And yes, I qualify for the moniker white trash, after all, you can take the girl out of the trailer park . . . .

First, let's talk about what you are wearing. I understand the issue here. I know what happens to a Mom's body after kids. Our bodies are like deflated balloons. However, there is no need to wear skin tight tank tops and too small jeans. It makes you look bigger than you are. Muffin tops are never attractive. And while you are very young, you can still look trendy and stylish.
I find dressing like this projects an image of you that is more slutty and less intelligent than I found you to be.

Also, if your boyfriend would not dress like a gangster, what with his waist band hanging around the mid thigh region and his boxers displayed prominently . . . . He's a Dad now, he should dress the part. Please have him reconsider the wife beaters.

But, forgot I said any of this. It is no matter. We live in a state where this type of clothing is the norm. It is part of the milieu.

What makes me the most sad is what's in your cart. Your daughter is beginning to eat what you eat now, so for her sake, can you reconsider your food? Beefaroni, pop tarts, horrible 89 cent "wheat bread", full strength soda, snacky cakes, and count chocula will do her more harm than good. And yes, my cart has spegghettios, but it is a small can, perfect for one bowl each for the kids.

I have some very yummy food here. I have delicious Kashi cereal with yogurt nuggets. And speaking of yogurt, the kids get to pick out three yogurts each. Little Pancake prefers vanilla, strawberry and banana. Little Mac, well, he is almost 35 lbs, he prefers everything! Please, try the tasty varieties of veggie burgers, real cheese (not the Kraft oily singles 'cheese') and meats from the deli.

I aways buy chicken tenders that I use to make chicken nuggets. We use the Rachael Ray recipe. Easy peasy lemon squeezey. No need for a trip to McDonald's this way! The applesauce is always a hit, I mix raisins in it to help sweeten the pot. After all, it is applesauce without corn syrup.

Oh, and no, eating this way is not more expensive. In fact, it might be less so. Our totals were about the same. See?

Basically, I don't strive to eat healthy. Just tastily. And you can too. Obviously you love your little girl. So give it a try eh?

Your friend in line,
Mrs. Hall

6 Left a message at the beep:

Bruce Johnson said...

When you asked for permission to use this photo, I wondered what you could possibly want it for. After reading this, it makes perfect sense.

This blog had me glued to the monitor and chuckling all the way until the end. The check out line IS the great melting pot of society.

A very well written peice. Kudos.......(write more like this!)

Mrs. Hall said...


You have a real name now!!


And thank you on the kudos.

I will do my best to write more like this.

And yeah, I just couldn't believe how the photo mimmicked the woman I met in the grocery store.

Seriously, I had this encounter and saw that photo all in the same day.

I believe there are no coincidences!


Mrs. Hall

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you get a kick out of My Name is Earl or not. My husband thinks it's just hilarious... but everytime I see "that" girl you speak of, I imagine her sounding just like Earl's ex-wife Joy. Cracks me right up!!

Mrs. Hall said...

Gypsy Girl: She was very blonde like the Joy. Whom I truly admire for her many, many hair styles and hair accessories.

After all, the bigger the hair the closer to God, eh?


Mrs. Hall

GeologyJoe said...

This should be published in every newspaper in America. I'd say send it to AP, but they'd never have the balls to print it.

Mrs. Hall said...

Well thanks guys!

I did put it over on the Bonez site. That gets a LOT more hits then me.


I am thinking about a new name here.

How about emily?

for now,

Mrs. Hall

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...