Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fits of laughter caused by middle age farts and Windows 7 (IRONIC UPDATE)



Let me say this, I have always worked with nurses, doctors and psychologists who are in the 45-60+ range. Pre-old bastard range, more middle age farts.

I am a mental health nurse practitioner who is 33. Damn spring chicken age if you ask me! All hot and smart too!

NOW. Ya'll have heard about windows 7 right. Our organization was recently switched to this. We had a meeting about it. A big, big, big meeting.

One hundred health care professionals in hot conference room. NOT ONE OF US BELOW A MASTER'S DEGREE. Unfortunately this means a high concentration of middle age farts. They suck at these types of meetings. Because using computers still confuses them. CONFUSES AND BEWILDERS AND MAKES THEM ANXIOUS AND WHINY.

Ask me how the meeting went.

Go ahead ask.

GAWD I just wanted to start yelling! I mean, it's just a computer people. NOT A LIVE SNAKE SITTING ON YOUR DESK. Just suck it up. CHANGE IS PART OF LIFE. Adapt and move on please. The sooner you stop whining, the sooner the meeting is done. THEN WE CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!

I hang my head in shame here. These are my people, my coworkers. WE ARE NOT YOKELS!!! And I want to just start screaming. Especially when this question was asked:

"Can we be switched back to the old version? "

Tremor in the asker's voice. I swear, I almost saw tears. THIS WAS A DOCTOR PEOPLE. A DOCTOR WHO ASKED THIS.

"No.",

said the IT guy. Our health care system is nation wide. Everyone works within the same system.

Hey look, here's a photo of the IT guy!




Honestly people. So for the next two hours TWO HOURS FOR THE LOVE OF FRICKING GOD GIMME A GODDAMN BREAK!! we learned what I learned a year ago whilst getting my master's degree. The basics of windows 7. BASICS, like using microsoft word.

Then it happened.

While the IT guy was explaining the trillion functions of Outlook, he gets to the calendar function. He was using a big projection screen, so we could see exactly what he was doing. Here is a screen capture of the outlook calendar business.



It should be noted he talked like Gay Al, from South Park (note the picture above). Or, if you are an old bastard reading this, he was like Richard Simmons. When he got excited his voice went up. Had a lisp too. Which just added to the funny that was about to happen.

Cause he was a flaming gay IT guy. No lie, so flaming you could see him from space.

"NOW", he says Big Gay Al, "With windows 7, you can accessss other people's calendars. So if you want to see schedule a meeting with another persssson, just take that perssson's calendar and lay it on top of yours. (my snicker senses perk up) See like this, now her ssschedule is on top of yoursss, laying it right on top of you. You can see where the parts match up, sssee what parts fit together. (silent giggles begin)

In fact, you can accessss a few people and lay them right on top of you. (I look around-NOONE is getting the joke!-this makes it funnier because it's now its an inside joke) See like this, just put her on top, then him on top of her. Then, both of them would be on top of you! (I am dying-squirming in the chair!) Everyone piled together on top of each other, just see where things line up. You can have a whole bunch of people piled on top of you all at the same time."

That's when I lost it!

With my shoulders vibrating, fist clenched against my mouth, I calmly go to the rest room and let out the giggles. Visions of virtual orgies between the outlook calenders dancing in my head.

OH GAWD it was so effing funny!

It's funny because I am a 14 year old boy inside, amused by such things.

Almost made the entire meeting worth it. Almost!

(IRONIC UPDATE)

Mr. Hall read the post (he reads every post actually), and last night he was all like , "Um, babe, I'm pretty sure you don't have Microsoft 7, that's not out until next October. You most like likely have the 2007 version."

And I kind of argued because I was tired and really I have no idea what I was arguing about, but whatevs, it was 11.30 pm and I was cranky. And because if he reads the posts WHY CAN'T HE COMMENT HERE!! but, i digress.

Turns out, no I don't have Windows 7-but 2007. The windows 'operating system' is XP.

Mr. Hall says, "yes, this is the way I set up my clients workstations. ". Then he started talking all computery and I blushed because even though I don't understand what he is saying, he gets all excited about this and well, I heart Mr. Hall.

So yes, irony. I was wrong about what system we use here. Technology escapes me when it goes beyond what I need it for. So, i was wrong. Which is fine. I mean, I could come in and find a ham sandwhich on my desk, computer in the trash, and I WOULD STILL MAKE IT WORK!! Chart on patients, order labs, order medications, and do everything I do! Because really, its only a ham sandwhich NOT A LIVE SNAKE!!!

16 Left a message at the beep:

Holly said...

14 year old boy are such dorks!

And you need to give us Near Old Bastards a break. We come from a time when personal computers had to be BOOTED UP! And, I'm not lying about this or being dramatic, ONE! ONE wrong keystroke could wipe out your entire drive.

So, we have been scalded and once that happens, it makes us askairt to try anything.

Please let me know how if feels when one of your co-workers lays their calendar on yours...eww baby baby..

B.E. Earl said...

Snicker sense..hehehehe

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Holly: yeah yeah yeah . . . so yes, will let you know when the innapropriate contact between calendars happen! :)

Earl: great line eh? thought of that myself!

Bruce said...

If you are transistioning to Windows Vista....you should be afraid....very afraid. We did it a year ago....and our productivity has steadily declined.

Bruce said...

By the way, thanks for menching "Big Gay Al"....everytime I see his picture of start humming that song from the SouthPark Movie...."I'm Super...Thanks For Asking".....

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Bruce: You are almost in the old bastard category so yeah, whining about computer program switches . . well very grump old . .

What does menching mean?

well either way Bruce, your different AND THAT'S SUPER!!!

tee hee hee

GeologyJoe said...

Technophobic Doctors and The IT Queens sounds like names for two good bands.

Wil said...

"so flaming you could see him from space." LMAO! I was also actually LOLing while reading this post. It's so true with the people that are so afraid of technology. Take Heff for example. AWW SNAP!

Wil Harrison.com

Tony said...

What a great post!

I like it when you let go on us like this and bring us into that POV of your inner fourteen year old boy. Sorta speaks to that little girl that looks amazingly like a freakin' hot to trot 18 (gotta keep it legal) year old that resides deep within me.

Um... er... I think I may have just made a blog boo boo and over shared with the entire blogosphere. Damn it! I hate it when that happens.

Anyway, I resemble your old fart labeling only in the chronological sense and definitely not in the Luddite sense. I think tech is super sexy sh*t but I also say that I don't consider Windows 7 to be real tech :( Now the new iPhone 3G S is instant woody super sexy tech sh*t and I've got my very own 16Gb black one pre-ordered to pick up at 7 a.m. EST June 19th (nasty wet raspberries to Microsoft and props to Apple and Steve Jobs, baby!).

Um, seems I've meandered off topic a bit ...

Great post!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Geo-Joe: Yes, those are awesome names \m/!

Wil: Yes, that IS a good line! And yes, Heff might just qualify for middle age fart status!

Tony: Hey dude!

Well, wow, it appears technology um, does a lot of things for you. Good luck with the super gadgety tools! :)

Slyde said...

the entire time i was reading this i was thinking "you CANT be using windows 7 yet" - its available in beta but theres no way a company would be using it yet....

glad to see your hubby set you straight!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

SLYDE!!!!

GAAH!@!!!

THAT'S WHY YOU WERE IN MY DREAM!!

Because you and the mister, the Mr. Hall, you and him, SHARE THE SAME BRAIN!!! I swear!!! GAAH!!!

O-and Mr. Hall also said, he is using windows 7 already-

but SERIOUSLY WTF with you two!!!

:)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

IRONIC COMMENT:

I say windows 7 like five times in this post. And again, it is not windows 7 i am talking about, it is windows 2007.

So there is a beating of the ironic drum each time I say windows 7.

IRONY!!! adds a layer here!!

hee heee hee

Heff said...

Now, Now, Wil. Heff is not "AFRAID" of technology. If "technology" as pointless as say, "Twitter" comes along, I just have to call Foul.

Mrs. Hall, you were CORRECT. Yes "Stargazers". You have impressed Heff.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Heff: Yeah, twitter seems really pointless. I mean, we all have random inner thoughts, but no need to broadcast them all day long. That is why they are called INNER thoughts.

And of course I impressed you! I am a very impressive woman ;)

James said...

Two things;

1) I must be a really SAD old bastard because I never heard of Gay Al OR Richard Simmons.

2) I never heard of Windows 7. I know of XP though, and my son has Vista on his laptop.

Third extra thing: Yeah, why does Mr Hall not comment? Maybe he doesn't want to invade your space because it is YOUR space.

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