Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Mommy vacation (?)

Settling in quite nicely with my clinic. I am doing exceedingly well.

But I feel something missing.

Oh yeah, the kids aren't here.

I took this week to really settle in, hence the kids staying at home until Friday. Oh wait, this is home.

I will see them this weekend. But man, it feels weird. I am acutely aware of my movements. For instance, after I use my make up, I put it away so little hands can't dig in the powder and brushes. When I cook, I am careful to cook on the back burner and listen for curious little feet. When I shower, I leave the door open and am short about it. I usually shower when they have gone to bed, I leave the door open to hear and tend to them quickly. These Mommy habits, they are so ingrained they are reflexes.

The extent of it is taking me by surprise. :)

I stretched my limbs tonight, feeling my temporary freedom. Tonight I lingered while running errands. I lingered at the grocery store, lingered at Walgreens. Heck, I almost lingered while voting (if they would have let me). I took my sweet, sweet time reading the shampoo bottles comparing colors of lipstick, sniffing different lotions. It was the lotions that got me though.

I realized something. After a while I am not lingering because I have this freedom, this Mommy vacation. Truthfully, I don't want to go home because they are not there.

But, they will be soon. Mac comes this weekend, Pancake after that. Then I will have my needy monkeys all clamoring for my attention. All clingy and jumping on my head.

Till then, I think I will have a real glass of wine. Out of a wine glass, not a plastic cup.

8 Left a message at the beep:

Big Pissy said...

When my girls were 2 years old and 6 years old, I had to leave them in Germany with friends and go to Walter Reed Army hospital for what turned out to be a two week stay.

As difficult and demanding as it was being a "mommy", being away from them almost killed me.

Holly Hall said...

I hear ya Big Pissy, I hear ya.

2.5 days left.



{{Cam}} said...


Ani is so pretty! And mischievious looking, like she knows something we don't know.

I dig those curls. Why can't my curls look like that, Mrs? Mine is more Gilda Radner than Ani Difranco. That is why I own a straightener. And hundreds of ponytail holders. I can braid and sloppy bun with the best of 'em!!

Slyde said...

i hear ya on that score...

when my son is driving me batty, all i want is 5 minutes alone-time,

but as soon as he's gone, miss him like nobody's business..

Bruce said...

I know the feeling. Several years ago, my cat passed away. I had her for almost 12 years, since she was a kitten. I always learned to shuffle around the house in the early morning darkness so I wouldn't accidently kick her (she like to sleep by the bedroom door).

The day after I had to have her put down, I awoke and shuffled to the kitchen to make coffee. Half way there, I realized,.... I don't have to shuffle anymore....she won't be there.

Interesting how the lives of others mold who we are...subconciously.

Evil looking grin in the picture by the way....hope you don't great your patients that way!

Holly Hall said...

Cam: Yeah, curly hair is like a two year old, you have to tread very very carefully otherwise they end up all snot puddle on the floor.

Slyde: uh-huh, I second that.

Bruce: Yeah, interesting stuff, how others mold us. And fear not, I reserve that look for other people, not my patients.

Nurse Practitioners Save Lives said...

I think everyone wishes for some peace but when it finally comes, it's not what we thought it would be. Glad to see that things are going well at the clinic. It's important to enjoy your job.

Holly Hall said...

Hello Fellow NP (do you have a other name?) Yeah, it is a bit different actually being here, in the clinic. Weird.

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