With Mr. Hall being gone, I'm relying on my Mom for the day care drop off/pick up mambo. This has caused a significant increase in contact with her. Which results in conversations like this:
My Mom: "So, why doesn't Mr. Hall just have someone just fix the pool already? I mean, he's been working on it all summer, he won't be done until there's no more summer left. It doesn't makes any sense."
Me: "Well, you know him, he can fix all sorts of things, he's an engineer. Plus, he likes fixing things and not paying someone. He's doing a great job and there is a manly satisfaction to this. I'm ok with it. The pool will be fixed when he's done. He always finishes things Mom. Like the wiring in the basement and the lights in the cabinet. Now he's working on the pool that's all."
My Mom: "When will that be though? When will he be done? He's been working on it all summer."
editor's note: It should be noted she has asked me every week when the pool will be done. And the answer is always the same.
Me: "He'll be done when he's done Mom. There is no rushing him. He likes to do projects and do them well. He's caring and thoughtful and that takes time Mom. He wants it done right. And I'm ok with it. This is part of who he is and I love him for it. So none of this bothers me."
My Mom (huffing): "I don't understand how you can stand it. (she gets more huffy) How can you stand him being so slow with everything."
Me (Yelling): "MOM! HE IS NOT SLOW!!!! HE IS CAREFUL AND THOUGHTFUL AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM. HE JUST DOESN'T THROW MONEY AT STUFF. HE DOES IT HIMSELF AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT."
editor's note: She looked stricken. She always looks stricken when I yell at her like that. She doesn't realize that putting me in a place where I have to defend my husband is incredibly hurtful and really bad manners. Now, I realize yelling at my mom is bad manners, but at least i didn't yell this:
Me Yelling: "MOM! IF WE THREW MONEY AT EVERY PROBLEM WE HAD, IF WE THREW MONEY AT OUR EVERY WHIM AND WANT- WE ARE GOING TO BE NEARING SEVENTY AND STILL NOT HAVE OUR HOUSE PAID OFF AND HAVE CREDIT CARD DEBT. LIKE YOU AND DAD!!!"
But I don't yell that last part. But, she was stricken and she left in a huff.
The next day she calls, starts talking at me about a number of things which I'm not listening to and then I hear this:
My Mom: "Ya know, I see what you mean about Mr. Hall. I mean, he could get all sorts of projects done but still not be the great husband and father he is, so I can see what you mean about being ok with him being slow."
AND THAT is the closest I've gotten to an apology.
Which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy because hey, it's been 34 years that I've known this woman. I takes what I can get :)
The Character Builder's Bible
9 months ago