Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Things I get to do when Mr. Hall is gone

In every marriage, no matter how awesome, there are compromises that keep the household peace. One does put the lotion on the skin before it gets the hose again . . . . (for example) However, Mr. Hall will be away for a week for business.

So, without further ado, I present:

Things I get to do when Mr. Hall is gone:

1. I get to paint my fingers and toes INSIDE THE HOUSE!!

This is me and the wee Pancake after our weekly pedicure on the porch. Mr. Hall abhors the smells of nail polish and nail police remover. As you can see, I take great pride in my work. And this painting takes a good hour. So outside we go.

Only outside is flipping hot in the morning and full of mosquitoes at night. GAAH!! I curse Mr. Hall and his sensitive nose! But he's not here, SO INSIDE HERE I COME!!

2. I get to shower in the morning

Mr. Hall thinks people should shower at night. You get dirty during the day and bedtime is for sex. So, for the last decade I've been showering at night or else I get the pinches. And his pinches really hurt people. So I shower and scrub. It's ok, because if I go to bed with my hair wet- it's all poofy the next day. The bigger the hair the closer to God I say.

But I'm tired at the end of the day. I don't want to shower. I just don't want to get pinched. But again, Mr. Hall is GONE BABY GONE! No shower tonight!


I got this baby when I was preggers with my daughter and HELLS YA BODY PILLOW!! I call it the nest. AH MAH GEE. Mr. Hall gives it a big frowny face though. Something about it getting in the way of spooning. He can't touch me or something. But he's not here is he? SQUEEE!!! The nest, it waits for ONLY ME!!!

4. I get to eat the good yogurt and drink propel water

Mr. Hall is a yogurt connoisseur. Only we gooble his good yogart so he buys the crap stuff instead. The fruit on the bottom stuff. BAHH!! But he's gone so HA HA HA!! I buy, I gobbble haa haa haa!! and ANNNNDDDD!! I will drink as many propel waters as I GODDAMN WELL PLEASE!!! None of this, "I bought you those for after yoga babe" comments!! None of that, "There's water out of the tap." crap!!

FREEDOM!!!! sweet freedom!!!

10 Left a message at the beep:

RW said...

I get to eat sardines inside the house when MrsRW is on one of her business trips. So I hear ya.

Mrs. Hall said...



Party on WAYNE!!

B.E. Earl said...

Hmmmm...I can't think of anything offhand that I don't/can't do while Gia is around. Maybe sleep even later than I already do? I dunno.

But I LOVE that body pillow! Need to get me one of them.

Heff said...

O.k. I see how you women REALLY ARE !

(Erasing "Body Pillow" off Donna's Xmas list...)

Bruce said...

When my wife is out of town for a week............TOPLESS BARS!!!!

...actually that was me 20 years ago, now it is hours and hours of documentaries on TV and drinking the good wine in my underwear.....

GeologyJoe said...

its get to get that little respite (sp?) every once and a while.

Mrs. Hall said...

Earl: do you fart under the covers? KNOCK THAT OFF :)

Heff: dont' you dare! the nest is best!!

Bruce: yeah. undies :)

Geo-Joe: yeah. I mean, i really am taking advantage here. hee hee

Cam said...

"The bigger the hair, the closer to God"...and that is why I love you, Mrs. Hall. And, if it wasn't the truth, why did God invent Aqua Net?

white rabbit said...

I'm with you on showering in the morning. Bedtime is indeed for sex but sex makes you sweaty and sticky. At least if you do it right...

So freshen up in the morning with a shower. It wakes you up too. At least in combination with strong coffee.

wv: cwwarrta *peers closely at this strange non-word*

Mrs. Hall said...

Cam: gawd, do they even sell aqua net anymore?? I used that stuff for my 80's bangs baby! Holla!

WR: sadly, i still find myself showering at night. it is not a force of habit. DARN you Mr. Hall!!

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