Monday, August 23, 2010

My spanking hand-it's twitching.



Mr. Hall has been back two days now and I must say . . . ahhhh . . . that's SO MUCH better!

Yet, my spanking hand-it's twitching.

Mr. Hall and I run on different wavelengths. As a rule, I am unfocused, prone to wandering and not getting things done. He is a straight line and really good at everything.

Now, me and the kids, we've been alone for three weeks. Our cat like tendencies have grown unchecked. We walk willy nilly through the zoo, not consulting the map, going here and there. Walking without purpose. We take an hour to get a few things from the store. Then we forget the thing we went for. This drives Mr. Hall nuts. He gets twitchy. I can see him sort of fuming on the inside. Which I kind of enjoy.

This is marriage after nine years people. There is pleasure in bugging your mate. Trust me. The eye rolls and head shakes of disbelief-they are pleasing in a very small way. I know it's petty, shush!

Also, since he's been back, he has started to stand behind me, giving me advice on how to get things done. Like at the post office, or watering the plants. Which really, these are things I emailed or called him about when he was gone. I really screwed up on stuff when he was gone. Because I don't know how to do anything. I am not domesticated.

Then he started to tell me how to marinate the chicken for the grill last night.

This is when I snapped.

I got very use to being in charge, doing things all spasmodically. Being messy and haphazard. It gets done alright? And then he shows back up, all efficient and here, let me help you. With the rolling of the eyes and the head shakes of disbelief. With the gah noises. So I threw a oven mitt at his belly. But, as we all know, I am a horrible shot.

I whipped it and it smacked him right in the eye. And it was on. We did this slap fight thing and dangit, he's really strong. And I tried my girliest but in no less then two moves he had me pinned. This also irritates me. With the greatest of ease, he brings me to the earth.

Which is maybe a good thing. Because he's here, with his family and being our anchor. It's like adjusting to gravity now that he's back. And it feels so good to feel grounded again.

9 Left a message at the beep:

Rebecka said...

Next time please submit video of the slap fight.
Sounds like good times.

Brown said...

I totally know what you mean...after I got out of the military, everyone was an idiot and took way too long to accomplish anything. It was a frustrating transition, albeit a necessary one. It's good to be grounded, although, I don't think I'm ready to give up my wings just yet...

Mrs. Hall said...

Rebecca: maybe we'll do a re-enactment :)

Brown: lord please help me not strike this man!

Heff said...

Sounds like HIS spanking hand needs to be twitching to me.

Gitcherself IN LINE, WOMAN !!

Mrs. Hall said...

yeah, the Mr. Hall, he has patience beyond belief :)

Cam said...

The Bergman, he smokes nasty cigarettes. GAH! HACK! PUKE!

He has since I met him, and I've been at him to quit the entire courtship, nuptials, & subsequent marriage... He never smokes in the house, or car, always outside. So, on Sunday, he went out on the porch for a zigarette, and I dead-bolted the door behind him. When he jiggled the handle, only to find it locked, I SWOOSH raised the blinds on the door, & stared at him. I asked him if he'd reconsider smoking so I could reconsider letting him back inside. He reconsidered kicking the door in, so he said, but simply walked off the porch, and headed to the back door...where I was already waiting, having ran through the house. I pushed my luck by (in an effort to further taunt him) opening the door just a tiny crack, and wrapping my leg around it, which allowed Berg to get his ginormous foot in the door. He then looked at me, all serious like, and told me to move my leg, lest he throw his man-weight around, and snap it completely off my body. I considered the imagery for a second, and moved aside... I like my leg too much to see it go.

So, anyway, I gets the man-weight. We need to formulate a series of ninja moves to incapacitate our men...moves that cause no pain, but really get our point across. Probably something we can find in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Lemme know...

Cam said...

Okay, Mrs...I was working on this comment before I saw yours to Heff, and it is hilarious the way you referred to Mr Hall, and I did the same to Bergman! Weird science.

Mrs. Hall said...

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING CAM!!!

we have got to find a way to use our smallness to our advantage!!

seriously.

Men are born fighting and scraping, girls are just daintier. We need to combat this somehow!!!


:)

Brown said...

Combat this? Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? This is one fire fight that does not need to be fought with fire...You do realize that you all possess the nukes right.

I hope my fellow men don't come down on me for letting you in on this little secret, but {leaning in to whisper into Hall's ear} you all have vaginas....

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