Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Old bastards and yippie dogs that I'll miss the most

Dang, if it just didn't make noise, it'd sooo be my next dog

Our next door neighbors, eh hem, soon to be ex next door neighbors, are old bastards. Old, retired, married couple bastards in their mid to late sixties. But, old bastards nonetheless.

They are living the good life, she sells Avon for pin money. He does country and western gigs at local bars. They have two of the yippiest dogs I have ever known. The dogettes go crazy when the kids get near them. All twitchy spastic, manic yip yip yip, and furiously licking at their tiny hands through the waist high, chain link fence. Yip yip yip . . .

They absolutely luuurved Henry. Fed him treats over the fence. Henry was ever the gentleman. Always well behaved, did tricks too. He never barked at the tiny dogs, just took it all in. The old bastards bought him a treat jar last Christmas. It was in the shape of a Rottweiler. They really did love Henry.

Mr. Hall sent me a message today. They are having a yard sale for the next few days. What is left of our furniture is going into that yard sale, it'll run from Thursday through Saturday. If you want what is left of my college apartment furniture, better hurry.

Especially since a ton of old bastards in big tan Cadillacs began to arrive at 7.00 this am. Even though the sale is going on for four days, old bastards in big tan Cadillacs gotta get their yard sale on. And clogg up the feng shui of our cul de sac.

Soon to be ex cul de sac, I mean.

I will miss them. And their old bastard rummage sales. I will miss the yippiest dogs I have ever known.

I have made a decision though. I need to self nurture here. Stop living over there so much.

Have something to do besides kids, work, kids, intense happy YAY!! Mr. Hall is here!!, sad soooo sad, walking funny, sad Mr. Hall gone, work, kids, work, kids, intense . . . . .

This painting is called,"Woman holding a balance" Ya'll get the metaphor of the painting in relation to the content of this here post now, doncha? :)

So, for once a month, I have made something for me to do.

I am going to join a local club.

I called to inquire about it. Because there was no email listed on the web site.

Ring Ring

"Elllo, this is Klouten rezidense"

"Um, Hello, My name is Holly Hall and I am calling to find out more information about the writer's club out of [the town I live in]. My husband and I are moving up to the area, so I am new here."

When I get nervous I lie. It's like a very bad tick. Bad because I SUCK at lying.

"Es, veddi goot, es see Twosdai, edder month"

"I'm sorry, um is this Kurt? Did I reach the writer's club. . .? "

"Ooof! Sorry ma'am, mien Austrian accent is veddi thick, I speak slower k?"

Old bastards on the phone is fun.

I know he was an old bastard because this was 10 am on a Tuesday. And he picked up by saying 'this is the Klouten residence.' This is old bastard manners.

"Mrs. Hall

[GOD I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME THIS!!!! old bastard manners rock!]

"Mrs. Hall, vhat do u write?"

Long pause. I think. Then, I think some more.

I mean, seriously, what do I write?

"Um, just about anything." Long pause.

I hear him kind of chuckle.

Then I said, after searching for someway to explain what the hell I am doing-

"I have a blog."

He said, " Un Blug? Blouck?"

"Yes, a blog, um, do you know what a blog is?"

He said yes. But, I doubt it. Old bastard on the phone.

So, once a month, on the first Tuesday, I will be rejoining the human race by going to a writer's club. I've been part of 3 or 4 writer's clubs in my wee life. It is fun, kind of like this blog circle, only in real life.I have seen the pictures of their meetings. And much like this group here. . . . . . . well . . . . .

I will be one of the younger members. Heck, I think Earl is the oldest at 52. The youngest member here is Caz I think. Well, she is definitely the most pregnant. Seriously, you must visit Spacebook, it is all sorts of crazy busting out love! But, again, to quote another blogger, I'm about 12 in grown up years.

But, this is a start, just me, getting the fuck out of the crazy house, stretching my creative wings. Hopefully there will be booze.

So now, let's not get ourselves all whipped up in a shy frenzy, let's remember to smile and beam positive energy.

Let's not get all worked up being around real writers in the real world. Or get all worked up about thee fact that old bastards have had more time to hone their craft. Let's not be scared about this, after all, I've got some skills.

In fact,

Let's not be scared of anything.

And let's go further. Do more stuff I like to do. I see myself going back to yoga class, maybe volunteer, maybe bible study again.

Yes I know, this life I lead, this life is party central :)

But it'll have to wait until I move back into my own house.

Soon though, soon. :)

11 Left a message at the beep:

B.E. Earl said...

Wait, what?

What club do I belong to? Why is my age listed at ten years older than I actually am?

Jane, stop this crazy thing!!!

(I hate you)

the queen said...

Go forth and do the things the rest of us fear! Report back!

Caz said...

WOW!!! A special mention AND the youngest?? REALLY??? At the ripe old age of 27?? WOW!! oh... er. did i say "ripe old" I meant ... mature. That's it. 27 is whippersnapper. In fact up to 51 and 3/4s is whipper snapper. (Sorry Earl you just missed it!!)

Good 4 u lady - get out there and "stretch" yourself. I'm not referring to yoga, but rather to comfort zones.

My big plan for a new experience is gardening. VERY old school of me but i have the opposite problem to you which is PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE and no me time so ya.

Anywho great post as usual.


Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Yes go forth and multiply thy story subjects...errr....I mean meet crazy...there I go again, nice people just like you and I.

Not really, go forth and meet crazy people then come back to your blog and write about the crazy people.

People are nice in small doses. ;-)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

WHOA! four comments before eight in the morning :)

Earl: You in my wee circle of trust and we have to disguise your age because we can't let the others really know what is going on. And yes, i hate you too. :)

Caz: I am sooo happy you are blogging about your life in South Africa and the band. Just love it. And the work you do! Wow. And now the baby bump chronicles. Oh lords, make me all googley. If you can grow tomatoes, garden tomatoes are ammmaaaazziiinnnggg :)

Queen: Will do there queen, will do!

Ole Blue: I shall go fearless, open to the energy and embrace it all and report back :)

Holly said...

Well, here's what I gotz to say to yu, Senora Hall...considering what you got me doing here all the way in the toolies of Western PA, you have absolutely no room to be fearful of nothing! Hear? Come on gurl, you know if I'm gonna' keep at this thing of mine, you have to git moving on that! I'm right behind you pushing my finger in the middle of your back and saying, "Oh, they have no idea how much fun you're bringing through the door with you!"

As the other Queen said, "Go, and report back!" We're here for ya!

Slyde said...

Earl turned 52 back when we all found out who shot J.R.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

yes, Earl my very well qualify for old bastard status. ;)

Cam@Journey Wildly said...

Good for you, Mrs!! I wish you could have met a former professor of mine that had a writer's club I tried out.

He was so flaming, Mrs. So very flaming. But, not "officially". He was about early 60's, very, very wealthy. Had a man that lived above his garage that frequently wore pink golf shirts and was his 'best friend'. And, the best was how he had this ladyfriend. She was and looked older than an old bastard. She was crinkly, and tanned, and to be honest, I'm not sure that she even knew where she was most of the time, but he called her his 'Ssssweeetie Pie, Ssssuuuuuzie'.

We had the meetings at his home, which was one of the oldest homes in Bowling Green, and stately. Oh so stately. And before we came he gave each of us a something to bring. For Missss CamRen, it was always her delissshous Three Bean Sssalad.

I am not being disrespectful. He really sounded out those Ssss....

I do miss him. We all had great fun. I hope you have as much. Sounds good so far! I bet Mr Klouten has many stories to share!

And YipYip to the yoga! LOVE IT!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

I want a gay man in my life. I have noone to discuss fashion with. NOONE!!

Mr. Hall has a gay hair stylist. I love him. He is so flaming you can see him from space.

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssi need a gay manssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssi would be an excellent fag hag

in case anyone needs one :)

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde is taking applications.

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