Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Two blondes walk into a bar. . . . .

Ok everyone, group hug here. Almost there now, I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And apologies, there is no joke in this post, just two blondes. Both real estate agents. Feel free to add your own blond jokes in the comments.

So, let's begin . . . .

The first blonde will be selling our house. I've known the woman for about ten years. She is a bit older than me- mid 50's I believe. She is the girlfriend of Bob, one of my husband's coworkers. They've been dating on and off since high school. She is good looking woman. And whomever meets her, asks this question-

"Is she drunk?"

Because she is blonde and very, very fun. Her name is Bunny.

I've always been curious about Bunny and her drunken demeanor. I see her at company functions, having a good time. She doesn't actually drink though. Drunken is her personality. She is gregarious, warm and a bit loose.

Then, as I was wont to do at age 24, I challenged her. I was a bit sauced myself. I challenged the relationship she has with Bob, I challenged her. "Why no ring," I say? "Don't you want to marry him? Why aren’t you making him pony up?"

Again, age 24. I had figured out who I was. I had done a lot of background work, a lot research to prepare and ensure myself for a successful marriage. And this flighty woman was gonna hear about it. Again, age 24.


As I was having my ass handed to me, I had a revelation. I should never assume my path to happiness is the path others must follow. I should not assume their path, (of living in sin) will lead them to where it left me, devastated and adrift. Bunny was doing just fine. Just fine indeed.

Also, just because someone is blonde and fun, doesn't mean I am smarter than them. The woman, this Bunny, she handed me my ass in a super intelligent and deft manner. I was out manned and out gunned. My ninja skills of verbiage and debate, they were no match for an older woman who owns exactly who she is. I got served that day.

Very thankful says the grasshopper.

That being said, I am very glad she is our real estate agent. Those qualities up there, they will get our house sold.

The second blonde will sell us a house. She is my age. We met with her Monday. I liked talking to her. People in sales are aesthetically pleasing. So quaffed, so stylish. I am not on their level, babe wise. Yet.

Again, it was a very enjoyable experience, our meeting. It was nice outlining our needs and wants. I felt astute, womanly and muscular. It was a very articulate and adult conversation. Jeez, I need to get out more.

But really, when she sees us, she sees talking bags of money. Which will make her work hard. Which is good. We need all the help we can get.

And OOOHHH the visions I am having. The visions of having my husband around our house again. Seeing his black socks, his black comb, his red t shirt. Having him chase the kids, flipping them up in the air. The random squeeze out of nowhere. The sly wanton looks in the midst of changing diapers and braiding hair. The code words, the inside jokes between husband and wife. . . Feeling his masculine energy perseverating . . . .

What I see is a restoration of my harmony. Of our harmony.

Every day we plug away, step by step we get closer. And now we have these two blonds, who for their own reasons, are helping us towards to the goal.

And for this I am very thankful.

Again, leave blonde jokes in the comments if you wish. We all need a laugh eh?

6 Left a message at the beep:

Holly said...

As a raven haired chica now turned silver, I have to say that blondes always seem to have more fun. Which is very annoying. But, the dumb part? Ain't so.

I love that you got your verbal butt kicked. Women like you and me that tend to think we run the world need to have our knees kicked out from under from time to time.

It keeps us honest. No joke.

B.E. Earl said...

One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator.

He stood up on the counter and announced "If I stick my cock and balls into this gator's mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink."

The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee.

So the man whipped out his cock and balls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws.

A few moments later he hit the gator on the head with a beer bottle and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitalia out without a scratch.

As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowd and asked if anybody would like to try.

A hush settled over the crowed.

All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back.

"I would" said the blond lady.

"But only if you promise not to hit me in the head with a beer bottle."

(Eh...not so great)

Cam@Journey Wildly said...

Oh, Earl...

Party foul.

I did laugh, though!

I have no blonde jokes, just sending lots of positive BUY SELL BUY SELL BUY SELL vibes to you and your team of professionals...

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Holly: So true, so true

Earl: Ah come on, that was funny!

Cam: yes, positive vibes . . . .


Bruce said...

Blond.......ditzy.....with the name Bunny.....the law of statistics indicate that the world "Playboy" MUST appear on her resume somewhere......

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

With this blonde, i have but no doubt something very much like that is in her resume :)

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