A simple phone rarely is that when calling my mom.
My Mom: Hello?
Me: Hey Mom, can you bring over a can opener when you pick up Pancake for her karate today?
MY MOM: What? Where are you? Are you at home right now?!
(editor's note: I'm calling from my cell phone, while I'm at work I use that phone)
Me: Yeah, I'm at home. So, do you have an extra can opener?
My Mom: Well . . . we have the one that goes under the cuppoard, but why are you at home?
Me: Ooh...I've got a bit of the flu.. no biggie.
MY MOM: (starts to go into panic mode) WHAT?? Are you ok?? What's wrong with you??!!!
Me: Nothing, I've got a bit of the flu..its not a big deal..one of the other doctor's has been out all week.
MY MOM: (panic rising) WHAT??!!! The doctor said to STAY HOME ALL WEEK?? Are you OKAY??!!!
ME: MOM!!! (yeah, i yelled at my mom, shut up) I said, a doctor I work with has been out all week, i'm fine, just a little sick. I'm going back to work tomorrow. SO.... ABOUT THE CAN OPENER??
MY MOM: IS PANCAKE AND MAC OK??!! ARE THEY SICK??!!! (PANIC PANIC!!)
ME: MOMM!!! CHRIST!!! EVERYONE IS FINE!! OBVIOUSLY since you are picking her up for karate she is fine. GAAAAH!!!! (yeah, i know, i'm yelling at my mom, i said shut up!!!!)
My mom: Why do you need the can opener? Didn't you just buy one?
ME: MOMM!!!! LOOK!!! ours is not working and we want to start the crock pot but we need a can opener to open the FLIPPING CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP!!!!
My mom: Well, there's no need to yell Holly. I can bring extra can opener we have. No problem.
me: Ok good. Pancake really likes it when you bring her to karate. She gets all jazzed when she sees your car and stuff.
My mom: Well, I love bringing her, you know that. Tell her I love her and we'll go out to dinner afterward. Goodbye Holly.
THEN SHE HANGS UP IN A HUFF.
But's it's ok. Because I don't live there anymore!!!
The Character Builder's Bible
2 months ago