Crazy Sauce not allowed in the hot tub

This will be a hodge podge type post cause really, I've got nothing left for organization. Or brevity. At least not today.

We own a hot tub. Now that we are trying for our third, our access is limited. Unknown dangers for me and my possible with child status. Mr. Hall's access is limited too. Don't want to cook the sperm.

That being said, I was waxing poetic about the hot tub last night. We were sitting in our leather love seat. It's more of a two seater love seat, just enough room for our nightly snuggle, all ensconced in our soft, deep purple blanket. It's a lay-z-boy recliner and we both love it so.

We snuggle at the end of the night and watch our pre-recorded nightly program. These days it's usually Mad Men or Lost. Sometimes we mack and completely forget the show is on.



Mr. Hall is a twitchy sort though. If we are watching the show he is always twitching his legs. Or moving his hands. IT DRIVES ME AND MY ADD NUTS CAUSE I'M SO SENSITIVE TOWARD NERVOUS TWITCHY NERVOUS ENERGY!!! Cause I'm hyper at baseline. Having a twitchy warm body next to me MAKES ME MORE HYPER SO KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!!!!!

And he does.

Now, last night, I was waxing poetic about the hot tub and how I miss it. Cause we are trying and all. Which lead the conversation down the usual road. This being an exaltation of the big preggy boobins, the swollen belly . . . all the good stuff.

Then I say, "If my water hasn't broken I can labor in the hot tub." His legs start to twitch. I go on, "I mean, we can just lower the temp a bit and I can get all nekkid and lounge in tub while I am contracting." His arms start to twitch a bit.

I go on. And on about how our son's labor was so magnificent. And really, it truly was. It was so awesome that even now, three years later, I remember the joy and the mess and the pain and I feel all these joyous flashbacks wash over me. And Mr. Hall was there, so much there I forget that it didn't happen to him to. And I am saying this all.

And I'm waxing poetic, connecting it all to the hot tub. And his legs just keep twitching harder except it's not winding me up. Cause I'm not paying attention. I'm being swept away by my own lovey dovey birth story. I'm starting to feel the vibrations from all his twitching. Yet, I'm seeing unicorns and rainbows and cherubs and love. All in the hot tub. And finally, his body is full on spasming AND is now KICKING THE BLANKET OFF OUR LAPS.

"Jesus! What the heck? What's wrong with you?" I say. Kind of shocked and irritated he's interrupting my fantasy.

"NO! No babe, there is no way you are laboring or giving BIRTH IN THE HOTTUB!" His voice is raised, face a bit flushed.

"Hey, I said my water would not be broken. " I point this out, matter of factly. Puzzled by his response.

"NO!! It's just gross!!" His voice is all flustered.

And he got up and twitch-hopped out of the room.

I still am a bit puzzled by this response. Then again, it was messy the last time. So, maybe he has a point ;)


It was funny beyond belief this event. He was so worked up about it. So grossed out. GAWD I love that man! :)