Operation double chin

Women tend to make a big deal out of everything. I am no exception.

Sometimes, though, the big deal gets in the way of progress. So let's go gently and swiftly through this post. That way we can get to what I need to get done.

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

When women have something to fight in their life, they will often choose their body as the battle field.

I am no exception. But I've seen the light. I've been healthy. It took yoga, therapy and a lot of exorcising demons but dammit, I did it. I lost 35 lbs and was fabulous.

But now I'm back to double chin size. 165 @ 5.4. BMI 28. I am battling again.

I like to think I can blame my doctor who said NO YOGA WHILE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. But wait, she didn't say that. She said, "Special pregnancy type yoga only please". And thus, it did not get done because I'm not pregnant.

AND THAT MY BLOGGY BLOG FRIENDS IS WHAT THIS IS ALL FRICKING ABOUT.

It's about two miscarriages last year. And trying to get pregnant this year. I've done the healing but my pain is still showing. It's the muffin top of morose. The pooch of pain. The double chin of despair. tee hee hee.

(it's ok to laugh, I find that funny)

My chubby is there and not moving. Cause I'm not moving. I'm still holding on every month for the pregnancy test to turn positive. Having a faux pregnancy belly helps to make this alien state of not-pregnant easier to take. Which is delusional. But, we do what we can right?

So today it changes. I crave the size six. I crave the lean muscles. I long for the thin. I've no use for the chub and double chins. And today my body aches from my kickboxing class. And my weight watchers is filled out for today. And so it shall be.

This time, it's for keeps.