When Mr. Hall goes on these out of state business trips, I flip into single mom mode. I rush around, checklist and struggle to do things he does. I get more absentminded, look disorganized and a bit crazy.
Last Sunday, I was in a leadership meeting at church. The Mr. Hall and I are going to be leading a couple's bible study group. Mr. Hall, being elsewhere, was not there. But I was, in all my distracted, dizzy glory.
Normally, these types of meetings are cause to pause, to gain introspection. To feel the love of others as we gather to celebrate God's love. Sadly, I'm so wound up, so checklist, that I wasn't there in that way. But, for a brief second I saw myself. It was like an out-of-body experience.
It happened at the end of the meeting. The pastor laid out expectations of the leaders. The pastor said, "No sex outside marriage, no gossiping and tithing". My head went into checklist mode. But I missed part of what he said. So I blurted out:
"OK WHAT WAS THE MIDDLE THING?? I HEARD THE PART ABOUT NO SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE AND TITHING BUT WHAT WAS THE MIDDLE THING??"
I said it REALLY LOUD. I used my outside voice!! I was a bit embarrassed but dang, I was more shocked. And I came to the conclusion that all this spun up and running around is just crazy. It's me being crazy and I need to stop.
So I am. I'm taking time to paint my toes and take baths. To watch comedies on Hulu and enjoy people when they talk to me. I've slowed down. And it's much better. The crazy is melting out of my body.
And I have volume control now.
Have a good weekend all! :)
This is love
4 weeks ago