Friday, July 16, 2010

Mother Mary Comfort Me

At yoga there was a pregnant woman. Really pregnant, like seven months or so. I've heard about her before. When I announced my pregnancy, the yoga teacher said, "Oh, we've got another pregnant woman in the classes." She was a month ahead in terms of due date.

I've seen her in the halls, going to the easier classes. Subconsciously I've been keeping track of her. Because she was the other pregnant woman in the class. Then she was the only one.

And there she was today, next to me in yoga class. All big and round and pregnant.

Then, at the end of class, when we were all done, she was happily chatting about her ultrasound.

I don't want to say I was unbelievably sad with her next to me. I don't want to say I couldn't talk myself out of the sad and the tears. I don't want to say I had to leave instead of joining in the joy.

Yet there it was.

This song gave me great comfort during my first pregnancy, when I was so sick. It got me through and really helped me. And now it'll help me today, when I'm non pregnant.

Take care all. :)

4 Left a message at the beep:

mischief said...

It always seems weird to comment in places where you're new, but I wanted to anyway... I hope that it's okay with you. Especially when I tell you I do not know what to say. I just want to say *something*, preferably something that would make you feel better. I can't really do that; I have no special powers. But if I could have one I'd chose the power to fly, I think. How about you? I hope that not being pregnant hurts less and less until it doesn't hurt you at all anymore. But mostly I think it's okay to feel the sadness and have the tears until that time comes... or maybe it helps you get there faster. I hope so.

Mrs. Hall said...

yeah, it's ok to comment. really, i promise.

and hurt is ok. and it does hurt less. The yoga I do is the hot intense vinyasa yoga, it stirrs up emotions. which probably explains why I lost my head yesterday.

but it's ok, tears and such are ok.

all part of the healing process.


hope to hear from you again.

I promise I will get cheerier :)

mischief said...

Getting cheerier is not required for me to come back... I like the whole stirring of emotions thing, positive and otherwise. I just like the mix. I'm glad you're feeling happier though.

Heff said...

Nice post Holly. There's really NO WAY you couldn't have felt at least a LITTLE sad.

Heff understands.

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