Mr. Hall and I were watching Kristin Stewart (the girl up there, in the middle) on David Letterman the other night. She plays Bella, the female lead in the Twilight series. She was there prompting Eclipse, the latest movie in the series. I was literally bouncing up and down in the love seat I was so damn excited.
Because yes, I am a Twilight fan. SHUT UP.
Again, the clip is rolling . . . .
Mr. Hall: Yeah, I don't think she can act, I mean, look there she goes, scrunching her face, now she'll bite her lip . . .
Mrs. Hall: SSSSHHHHHHHHUUSUUSSSHH!!!!!!
I clamp my hands over his mouth and sit on his chest to stop the commentary, but I can still hear him making psshaww noises and being all snobby about it.
The clip ends . . . .
Mrs. Hall: GAAAHH!@!!!! WHY do you make fun of this sooo much?? I don't think you get it. You have never EVER been an awkward teenage girl pining away for a guy! You don't know what it's like! I mean, when you're 16, you live or die if the boy you like looks at you in class that day. I mean, it's such drama being an artsy teenage girl. And the boy, oh my god, the way we pine after boys is downright Shakespearean.
Mr. Hall: But, those vampires, they don't have fangs, they don't drink human blood. HOW DOES THAT MAKE THEM VAMPIRES??
Mrs. Hall: YOU ARE MISSING THE GODDAMN POINT JEFF!!! The whole point of the series--it's all Romeo and Juliet, all consuming love, gobsmacking love, the paralyzing love that teenage girls feel when they fall in love. Plus, at sixteen you start having to grow up. It's really hard and confusing. You just want someone to understand you and pay attention to you. Someone to take over your life with that all consuming love. That's how it is, especially for artsy over sensitive girls. Like I was, like Bella is."
Mr. Hall: So, the werewolf guy, he doesn't wear a shirt 90% of the movie because this is modern Shakespeare?
Mrs. Hall: uh. Look. He runs at a high temperature ok? Like 108 is his body's temperature. He's hot so he doesn't wear a shirt ok??!! And KNOCK IT OFF!! I never make fun of your Battle Star Galactica Ok? I mean, I don’t really understand a lot of the Sci-fi stuff in that series, it kind of goes over my head.
Mr. Hall: That's because Battle Star Galactica was written for adults.
Mrs. Hall: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
The Character Builder's Bible
9 months ago