Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Two sided crazy




There are often two sides of life, the clean, lovely surface-then the crazy underneath. Like looking at a pristine river rock, only to pick it up and find all sorts of bugs freaking out.

Such is the life of Mrs. Hall right now.

The bugs:

Underneath I am calling midwifes and figuring out what a doula is. We are not _______ yet, not that I would tell anyway. superstition and all. Our insurance is not covering a lot of things and we have to make some out of pocket decisions. Pfft. Offt. Gaah. Offt and an extra Gaah. It's just that this time, no matter what happens, we will want this to be special and we want support.

The lovely river rock:

Because two weeks ago Mr. Hall and I were sitting on a park bench. He was sitting directly in front of me, betwixt my capri's. I was working his lower, mid and upper back. Massaging his neck, then ears and finally giving him a good scalp rubbins. Several times I had to tell him to shhh 'cause he was moaning so loud.

I mean, kids were all around us. It was a public park after all. Our kids were absorbed in the sandbox. We could see them playing enthusiastically. I was going to go over and make sure everything was ok, but then Mr. Hall said, "I'm pretty sure they can figure out how to play with sand all by themselves."

Which made me laugh.

Then he moved from my front to my right side. I draped my legs over his. And we held each other, arms wrapped tight. I buried my head in the nuk of his neck while we basked in the sun. Our bodies were close and humming. There was quiet. And feeling the love that day, I melted like butter. Because that day was the day we might have made another baby.

10 Left a message at the beep:

Mrs. Hall said...

pretty soon I'm going to have to change the label from 'healing from a miscarriage' to . . .

what?

"ha ha we're pregnant again"

"screw them making us wait two months, we only waited one"

"baby the third 2.0"

"we're pregnant again but i'm not tell you that"

hmm...

;)

B.E. Earl said...

Hmmm...for someone not talking about it, you sure seem like you are talking about it. :)

Bruce said...

"betwixt my capri's"...I had to read this several times before I figured out what it meant........you go for it girl!!!!

Mrs. Hall said...

Earl:Like I said before-If I could keep things to myself, I wouldn't have a blog now would I ? :)

Bruuuuce: the subtlety, it is here.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Ok sister, I'm not sayin'...but I'm just sayin'...

I got pregnant the first time, told every one, and miscarried the next day. The devestation of it all.... I was told to wait at least a few months, but for whatever reason, she came before the next period was supposed to. Like that.
And I feel like she was truly meant to be, my baby girl.
I can't even and wouldn't even imagine my life without her.
She chose me and I was waiting with open arms.

Like you are. :)

Mrs. Hall said...

yeah. I'm keeping quiet in real life. Didn't tell noone about the midwife appt. Didn't tell noone nothing. I'm going to wait till I'm big and round and such.

hugs to YOU and ME!

hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs!!!

Slyde said...

keeping my fingers crossed for you..... :)

Mrs. Hall said...

mine too :)

Cam said...

*whispered* YOU GO GIRL! Or, BOY!

...because you're definitely not telling anyone.

:) (big ones, big huge, arms all happy, hugs hugs hugs, Mrs. Hall.)

PS-lots of good doula (support person) and midwife (baby ketcher) stuff on mothering.com It's more of a hippie/natural mothering mag than Parents & others like it...

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Aw, this makes me cry. You guys are awesome!

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