Saw Hot Tub Time Machine Last night. It's really quite the charmer when imbibing rum and cokes. Yes, I got really drunk last night and IT.WAS.AWESOME. Don't watch this movie sober. Just sayin'.
The actors (John Cusak, Craig Robinson, Lizzy Caplan (above) etc)), really sell such silly fair. The actors go back in time and get the chance to redo their lives starting at age 19 or so. 1986 baby. When Michael Jackson was black.
The lives of the characters (in the present day), they basically suck. So, it behooves them go back and change stuff because it all started to suck when they were nineteen or so.
Got me thinking about me being 19, all shaved head and punk. (Left a fringe of bangs that I would dye different colors though). I was so sure of myself. Flagrantly in charge and bossy. Army surplus combat boots. Anti-establishment. Smoking camels and thinking deep thoughts. Beholden to noone. Throwing myself around as a I pleased. I had no clue how sacred my boobies really were.
I've started birth control pills again. All part of the healing process from miscarriage numero two. The last time I took these was ten years ago. Talk about a flashback ;)
I can say this. Whatever I was then, it helped from the steel core I have now. I can still call up the unrepentant punk energy at will. My line of asshole ex-boyfriends help me see the awesome I have with Mr. Hall. And I still have my deep thoughts, there just my own now.
Everything now is just better. All that I am and all that I feel is rooted in my family and so much more meaningful. I am so thankful for all that I have and all that I am.
And whatever comes in the next months can come. I can, indeed, roll with the changes to come.
So, if you could go back to age 19, would you change anything?
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