Monday, June 14, 2010

Riddle me this

1. My husband and I sleep in the same bed, in the same room. He sleeps closer to the door-- so why do my darling, cherub children come in our room, cross all the way over to me, stand there and stare until I open my eyes. After which they ask, "MOOOMMMM, can you make us oatmeal?" I mean, their Daddy is RIGHT THERE! Plus, HE MAKES THE OATMEAL IN THE MORNING.

2. Where does the Kama Sutra come up with the names for positions? I mean, sixty nine is pretty obvious, although I don't think sixty nine is the technical name. As for me, I tend to get wicked awesome visuals whilst in the middle of things. Thus we have our own set of names for maneuvers. There's The Envelope, The Flying Squirrel (that's an extension of The Envelope), and The Egg. Those are just a few. Does anyone else make up names for their fun?

3. Why am I more sore two days after a work out? Not one, but two days?

4. At this point, I've made a few friends in my quest to build a social life. A few mommy friends. But, I still am feeling the need for a bestie. I mean, Mr. Hall is my best friend but he has no idea who Kate Spade is. How do I, a traditional wife and mother find someone who is odd like me? Who likes foreign zombie films. And tattoos. Can I find such a person at bible study on Wednesdays? We shall see . . .

5. Why does my OB-GYN want me to wait three months of "normal cycles" before we try again. Then, THEN she advises I take birth control pills for those months? JUST SAYIN!!!

6. Speaking of tattoos, why do people say they don't hurt? I mean, a tattoo gun is like a sewing machine, only the tattoo gun needle is not sewing through fabric with thread, it's threading ink through your skin. I am contemplating this while I plan my next tattoo. If I commit to one, then pain will be part of it. But, I beginning to think it is time.

7. Why don't more shows/movies make sex scenes funny? I mean, it's all grabbing the chick, lifting her up and slamming her back against the wall. HOW is that fun? HOW is that passion?

Now this clip right here, THIS IS FUNNY AND SEXY. (almost NSFW because of language but otherwise pretty tame)

Man o Man I loves me some Jason Stackhouse. He does the yoga! ;)


Let's hear it people, give me your answers in the comments!!

8 Left a message at the beep:

white rabbit said...

The flying squirrel?


Mrs. Hall said...

ttee hee hee

Slyde said...

tattoos are just mildly painful.

im gonna get my 2nd in sept, hopefully.

Mrs. Hall said...

mildly huh? ok, best to think positive about these things.


Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, I love your names for positions. And I've been told the second day is always worse for muscle pain because they're attempting to repair the little tears by the second day. But maybe that's crap.

Heff said...

The kids come to YOU for oatmeal because YOU'RE MOMMY.

Also, there's a good chance your husband's oatmeal Sucks.

Cam said...

I recently acquired a small amount of ink, and there were times it hurt like a sister, however, never even winced. Which confirms my lifelong belief that she is, in fact, an alien.

Did you like the birds, Mrs?

Mrs. Hall said...

I DO!!!

jeez. so far behind on commenting on yer blog. I still read though. promise!!

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