Friday, March 20, 2009

I stole something today

ahh, sin. yes, lovely sin. breathe it in people, breathe it in :)

I stole something today. It was a completely premeditated theft.

Ya see, I have what is called the mirena IUD (click here-its the one on the right). Which is fabulous by the way. So very very faboosh!! For those who don't know, the IUD goes is an intra-uterine-device that keeps a women from conceiving. It goes here (click here). I believe it may be the most perfect birth control.

Really, it is the perfect birth control. It requires ZERO effort on my part. Well, I had to remember to make an appointment to get it placed. So easy this appointment. Having it placed involves the same procedures and equipment as any other gynecology appointment. There is the gown, the foot rests nee' stirrups but gimme a break they are what they are and a speculum. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. It is a sigh of relief that can begin a total of five years worth of birth control. I've had two now. Again, FABOOSH!!

Getting it removed though, well, that was a bit um, disappointing.

Ya see, getting pregnant is a very exciting time in a marriage. All sorts of hyper and enthusiastic sex. It is pure and primal. And the love, oh the love. After all, that is what sex is for, making babies. All sorts of hyper and enthusiastic love gushing back and forth.

It was a disappointing contrast between what we felt and what we were doing. I mean, to celebrate and start the process of gushy baby making, to celebrate the sexy marital love, we booked an appointment to have my mirena removed. It was disappointing, basically Jeff went with me to something very much like a pap test. (Oh you know you want to click here)

Jeff whined that there were no good magazines to read, just two year old copies of ladies home journal.

Well what did you expect, I say, this is the women’s health clinic.

It was very anticlimactic.

Then we went to Hawaii. Was all sorts of fun. Some four weeks later, I was pregnant with Mac.

In my past, I was meticulous about conceiving. I can tell you the very hour each baby was conceived. I know because I tracked my ovulation like a crazed stalker.

No more I say, no more! This time, in present day, we will let nature take it's course. Or I will anyway. It will be as natural as possible. Jeff and I will be in charge of the entire process from beginning to birth. Starting with the withdrawal of my mirena.

It started today, at a routine doctor's appointment.


I swiped a plastic, disposable speculum. It was sterile and sealed hermetically in a clear plastic bag. Swiped from the middle drawer under the exam table.

Put in my totebag and brought it home. It felt tender in the tote bag, like a puppy. It's now tucked in my undie drawer, waiting patiently. When I see it there I comfort it. I say, patience my love, it'll be soon, very very soon.

Yes, yes, it is all very good.

So very, very twinkly good.

Amen I say, amen.

7 Left a message at the beep:

Slyde said...

is it weird that that "(click here)" picture got me alittle hot?

Holly Hall said...

No Slyde, it's not weird. Not as weird as me writing about my IUD on my blog anyway.

hee hee hee

Big Pissy said...

I'm laughing at you and Slyde. hee hee

Holly Hall said...

Pissy-Yes, the comments are sometimes the bestthings about posts:)

Bruce said...

OK then....thanks for that slice of life that NO MAN has ever read before........ the words of Colenol Klink......"Very Interesting......".

Holly Hall said...

Bruce: You didn't complain about not being able to see the video!!

and you are welcome ;)

seriously i did consider putting a warning at the top for the male readers but then i though, meh.

this is my blog, the men readers will just have to suck it up.

hee hee hee

sista #2 said...

Doesnt everyone steal something at the Doctor's office? They leave that stuff out(or inside drawers) for a reason.


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