On Wednesdays, I am will post about my current pro-active activities regarding my health.
Or, what can be called...
My quest for shrinkage.
Or, losing some wieght and gaining some strength.
I will also discuss the tv show "The biggest loser."
I am bringing some friends in on this,
Pissy, Michelle K, and James. (And when you or you do do a post on this, lemme know and I will link to it).
I watched the premerie last night. I watched it with my mom. Let me repeat that, I watched it with my mom. This was an activity frought with contention. But, there we were, watching the biggest loser.
For those unfamiliar, The Biggest Loser is a show on NBC that has about 14 couples that compete in a weight loss competition. These are very large people, ranging from 250-500 lbs. At first, from the looks of it, all of the people were very excited to be part of the program. The first hour was about learning where they would be living-a sequestered house. They learned what they would be doing-working out 8-12 hours a day under supervision of medical staff and two trainers. They also learned the physical consequences of being some 300 lbs+.
Which, as a nurse, I have seen before. When I worked as a pediatric nurse, I saw kids that needed a large, adult size blood pressure cuff. I saw nine year olds being diagnosed with diabetes type II. Big, big kids, sitting next to their big, big Moms and big, big Dads.
Later, I saw 25 year olds on 12 different types of pills. One or two or three--for each diagnosis The diagnoses being diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholestrol, heart problems. It all sucked. Seeing this. As a nurse you care about your patients. And when your patients are on that many pills, and they are maxing out the dosage, there is not much else you can do. Change needs to happen for these people. But, the sad fact is, change only happens from within. Which means you can't make it happen for the people you care about.
People like my mom and dad. Both are big and on many, many pills. Both hate for me to bring it up. I use to hate them for it. Part of me just doesn't care anymore. I think I have come to the conclusion that I cannot affect change in them. This is the reality here folks.
2. THIS ISN'T ABOUT THEM, IT IS ABOUT ME
Children often learn how to think and do by what their parent think and do. You can inherit thinking and behavioral patterns without even knowing it. And so, about two years ago, I found myself to be very big. I needed help. I went to counseling, joined weight watchers, persued yoga and dammit it was hard. Very hard emtionally. But I came through healthier then I have ever been. It is through struggle that we learn the most no?
Yet, the underlying, unseen mechinisms at work--are still working. They are especially active now that I am back in the milleu of ill health. Overeating and being defensive is the norm at my parent's house. My challenge is not to be triggered by such patterns. Triggered into repeating them I mean. And I was recently losing this challenge.
So, let me stop all the psycho-blather and usage of big words and get down to the nitty gritty.
Goals for next week/how I will meet them:
1. Get more effing sleep. This will be accomplished by blocking out blogger and all the blogs I love from my home computer. I blog after the kids go to bed. It is intellecutally stimulating. I get all keyed up and stay up too long. This sucks, but it for the greater good.
2. Drink more effing water. I will bring a big jug of the filtered stuff from the grocery store and drink away.
3. Watch my eating late at night. This is the time when I seek out foods and relaxation. I will drink warm yummy tea. Perhaps a yummy apple.
There you have it folks, one post down, a life time to go.
Go forth and sin no more!