Posting about shrinkage, getting all writery this week

This is Geology Joe. This photo, as well as others featuring his out door activities inspired me to write this post. It kind of breaks my heart a little.

(If you go to his site, check out the archives for 2005-2006. Lots of inspiring photos.)


For this Wednesday, I want to discuss how we come about becoming what we are. Specifically, the influence of geographical location.

If you poke around in the archives, you can surmise that I live in a place that is cold and gets very snowy this time of year. This is where I was born, this is where I live. When I survey the land, I see others just like me. We rub our hands, cup them over our mouths and blow. We stomp our boots as we enter the building. We swear at the weather man.

The cars we drive are coated white with salt. It is too cold to wash them; the water would freeze to the doors, the locks, the underpinnings. I am ever so thankful though, I have heated leather seats. This makes life better in ways I cannot articulate.

Despite the inner warmth of buildings and homes, our bodies are still holding tight, cramped up, conserving energy. All of this cold leads to a largely interior life, staying in buildings, staying in houses, staying inside. Movement is limited. Life often follows suit.

I can't help but feel restless and wanting to seek out. Yet I am tethered to two tiny children. When I consider going, searching out, they will be coming with me. This is paramount as I work through the next step.

Here is family. Despite what they lack, they still have better than nothing. The unending needs of my tiny babies are insurmountable without the help of others. Family is a special type of others, filled with automatic care and attention. From the view of a child, being loved by all angles is what life is all about.

Yet how do I reconcile the need to explore, to feel and be changed by a different topography? To see mountains, to see oceans, to see life I've never known.

I am changed by my recent and ongoing actions. With the influx of foods near the form they were born, with the influx of bodily movement and recovery. I am changing despite my shelter bound life. There is so much to see, to feel, to know. I want my tiny kids to know more. I want them to live outside this boxed in state.

The thing is, what decisions any of us make, has consequences. The decisions I make have consequences to everything that is attached to me. This includes my practice, my kids and Mr. Hall. My husband and kids are part of this, even at the thinking stage.

Even just thinking these thoughts, letting them bubble to the surface, is dangerous.

After all, when I ask myself what I want, I will have to answer.