DOWNWARD DOG BIATCHES

Went back to yoga tonight.

The last time I saw my yoga teacher,

I'd just turned positive on the pregnancy test.

So, she knew when I walked in.

She did the tilted head,

hand on the heart

OH, i'm so sorry thing.

Which again, is ok.

And I felt a little bit ok on the mat.

But it was tough because

JEBUS I AM CHUBBY

The poses don't go so well when you are

'bigger'.

my friggin yoga stretchy pants

were vedy vedy tight.

eeek.

THAT BEING SAID.

I KICKED OPEN THE MAT.

GOT BACK TO MY PRACTICE OF SOME 9 YEARS.

I DID IT.

I BREATHED.

I LAUNCHED

SIX LBS OF SWEAT CAME OUT OF ME.

I FELT SLIPPERY

I BENDED

STRETCHED

and i felt my sore spots.

It was like my back and belly were made of hammered down soil.

i've forgotten how to move them.

i 'm relearning though

BUT I DID IT.

I got back to my mat.

to my beloved hot yoga.

because i am

because i can

because i know this heals me.

It calms the hyper in my head.

It heals the sad in my heart.

I feel the hands of God on my mat.

And for this, i am so thankful.

And it may not feel that way now

but in a few more classes

it'll feel awesome.