Tuesday, February 1, 2011

And that's when I snapped (snowblower addition)



These are from a series of emails between me and Mr. Hall. He's away on business for a while. Our snowblower is causing me to become unglued.

DAY ONE: MR. HALL ASKS HOW I'M HANDLING THE SNOW

yeah, snow. well, thanks to our neighbor, I know how to start the snowblower so it's all good. It does sputter and smell and sputter when I push it around. Is that normal? It still vexes me, the sputtering. I don't want to look like an idiot out there, with all the neighbor guys snow blowing. Plus, I need to work on my technique, aka NOT BLOWING SNOW WHERE I JUST PLOWED. HA! (notice I still have a sense of humor)


DAY TWO: THE SNOW STORM WILL NOT LET UP, I START TO SHOW SOME WEAR AND TEAR. I STOP CARING ABOUT SPELLING.

HEY BABE! NEED TIPS ON SNOWBLOWING! like where and how do I plow the driveway. do I start in the middle? towards the sides? do i plow parrellell to the garage door, or perpendicural?

For some reason, despite 18 emails exchanges that day, we don't actually address this question.

WHICH LEADS TO DAY THREE. I STRUGGLE WITH THE CONTROLS PICTURED BELOW. AND GET MORE DESPERATE.




I write to Mr. Hall:

I got up at 6 this am, I SUCK AT SNOWBLOWING!! It was taking so long, the snow was barely coming out of the shoot. A neighbor asked if I had it off of 'bunny mode.' But you told me that I don't move the lever from the bunny. Then THEN- that dial with the circle with the line through it, apparently after you start the snowblower you need to turn it to the LEFT otherwise the thing barely blows snow around.

GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

HOW DO I SNOW BLOW THE DRIVEWAY WITHOUT BLOWING THE SNOW BACK WHERE I JUST SNOW BLOWED IT!!???!!!

ok. at work. getting it done and my shoulders are lowering. i just feel so self conscious and stupid with that snowblower. I have a master's degree. I should be able to figure out snowblowing!! aagghhheerreee!!!

Mr. Hall feels compelled to address this. Up until now he has mostly steered every conversation to um . . marital relations. He says . . .

So proud of youuuu. Just use logic babe. Remember that the chute does turn and angle. The plow comes down the street so you want to put most of the snow opposite the mailbox so the plow doesn't push it all back into the driveway. The knob with lines is called the choke. After a few minutes, turn the choke off and it will run much better. Safety first! Lumu

I write back:

OK yes, the chute turns and angles, got that.

I don't get what you are saying about the mailbox and stupid choke!

so I guess i still don't know which way to plow the driveway. up and down (from garage door to street with chute turned to the side l/r)?

little help with strategy please!!

And finally, after three days, I have the last piece of the snow blowing puzzle:

The mailbox needs to be clear for the mailman and the plow pushes from that way anyways. So try to blow all snow to the school side of the driveway. I start by making a wide path on left going down then blow strips horizontally. Try to not blow into the wind...

The mailbox needs to be clear for the mailman and the plow pushes from that way anyways. So try to blow all snow to the right side of the driveway. I start by making a wide path on left going down then blow strips horizontally. Try to not blow into the wind...

I WRITE BACK:

YA KNOW. PEOPLE IN CALIFORNIA DO NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM. THERE IS NONE OF THIS GETTING UP AT THE BUTT CRACK OF DAWN, HAVING ICEY SNOW BLOWN DOWN THEIR SHIRTS AND EYES GET ALL WET WITH TEARS AS STRUGGLE WITH THE FRIGGIN BLOWER. THEY GET UP, THEY STRETCH, THEY GO TO THERE CAR AND GO.

ug.

I DO NOT LIKE THIS STATE.

AS SOON AS MY PARENTS DIE WE ARE SO MOVING!!



. . . . .

OK good ya'll! Something like 6 inches expected tomorrow. WISH ME LUCK!

2 Left a message at the beep:

Lotus07 said...

This could be a spot on conversation between my wife and I if we lived in Iowa right now (where she claims to want to move, after her parents pass away). So you aren't the only one. Just keep reminding yourself...you know what Hummus is....you won't be blowing snow forever.

Mrs. Hall said...

yes, not forever!

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