Saturday, April 10, 2010

Revelations from the road (or) Acres of Concrete Chaos

I recently spent four days at a work conference. Which sparked the following post.

In my life, I am never alone nor alone for long. On the road, I noted a glaring lack of demand on my person and time. I marveled at my table for one while polishing an entire magazine. Walking about, without holding a little one’s hand, my gait settled and slowed. Then I was startled by the sound of my own thoughts. Then I heard them in full sentences.

At first I was bewildered by this. Then I started recognizing my freedom. Free from the ties that bind. Last time I felt absolute freedom was in college. I was a young girl with short shorn hair, tied up like tail pipes. Feral, happy, little tailpipes. Running all over campus, becoming a nurse. That was the last time I was truly alone. It was ten years ago.

The days wore on. My feelings grew odder, then grew into lead. They lined the pockets of my peacoat and strained the hem of my skirt. Without my tribe, I felt temporarily disappeared. Which is to say I was very sad. Then I ordered two martinis at the bar. This helped a little.

The next day, I decided to get out of the hotel. My goal was to walk and see the sights. The big city had huge skyscrapers, acres of concrete chaos which left my eyes round. But the absence of Mr. Hall was killing me. My arms ached to hold him. My ribs missed his weight. My mouth craved his ear to whisper my awe.

In the end, I recognized the utter lack of balance in my life. The last vacation I had was three years ago. There is no excuse for this other than self neglect. I need to guard against the inertia that constant need creates. Guard against it like a junk yard dog. I have gobs of vacation time saved up. It’s high time Mr. Hall and I used it.

So we will go. I will wear high heels and a low cut dress. I will be his hot wife, fawning all over my man. Blowing on his dice because baby needs a new pair of shoes. We will get drunk and giggle till my cheeks get red. We will get a room with two beds. Because The Tribe Called Hall started with us. It’s time to tend the roots.

10 Left a message at the beep:

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

I took the last two photos in the hotel bathroom. The lighting was fabulous! Need to replicate that lighting somehow. It was soft!

The Savage said...

Pretty! Welcome back to the land of blogdom and facebook!

Mrs. Hall said...

yeah, i totally need a phone with the internet trickery. cause dude. withdrawals!

got to my email though through a shared bank of computers.

and yes. I know ;) hee hee

B.E. Earl said...


Stupid Ninja Cat said...

Very cool blog ,and glad I found ya !

The Dental Maven said...

Welcome back to your tribe! Hope you enjoyed the conference.

white rabbit said...

I live mostly on my own now. It's overrated. Too much living inside your head. Stick to the tribe! Okay, I'm sure you will. :D

Mrs. Hall said...

Earl: Hi!

Stupid Ninja Cat! Yay!! :)

DM: Yes, bagels and cream cheese goes much better with kids squiggling in their chairs next to me :)

White Rabbit: JEBUS TELL ME ABOUT IT! All that inner thoughts/monologue has to go somewhere! That goodness you have the blog!

but seriously, dude. isn't their a or in the UK?

Heff said...

Does it count if I just stop by, but STILL don't read the posts ?

You should've headed next door for the beer

- FAIL -

GiGi said...

You look cute! Hope the conference was good. When I am driving alone, I often look in the back seat, thinking someone is there...or I forgot that weird? Definitely neurotic.... :)

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