Wednesday, March 10, 2010

You kids GET OFF MY LAWN! Part one



Two blocks from the house I grew up in, there was a house on a corner lot. On the corner of their lawn, there was a big boulder. This house was next to our bus stop for middle school. So there we were, 13 year olds. Slouching on the boulder.

And every day dude would come roaring out of his house.

Yelling, "GET OFF THE ROCK!!"

Old bastard.

But here's the thing, that yard is now two blocks away from my current house. Because when I moved here- I moved four blocks from the neighbor hood I grew up in.

This still boggles my mind. Because I had never expected to be back here. offt.

Anywhoodle.

Dropping my little girl off to school I noticed something about that same corner lot house. The old bastard GET OFF MY ROCK!! corner lot house.

Dude installed a nasty fence. To send a message I suppose.



This got me to thinking. I need to develop stuff that makes me pop a neck vein. Something that let's me get my crank on. So, without further ado, here is my list of things that make me say

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

1. Frickin backwards caps



2. Seeing her goddamn underwear. NOT ATTRACTIVE OR CUTE JUST WHITE TRASH!!!



3. I don't fucking care if it's walmart, YOU STILL HAVE TO GET DRESSED BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE GODDAMN HOUSE



4. IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE A GROWN UP AND WEAR A FANCY STRAPLESS DRESS PULL BACK YOUR GOSH DARN SHOULDERS!!!! POSTURE!!!!!



I don't know. These are battles I cannot win. But, I think it only proper I have some seething rage about something. I'm much too cheery really. So, these are my GET OFF MY LAWN complaints.

Yet. Still. When I go to pick up with little girl next monday, I will take a few minutes to sneak behind that POINTY STUPID FENCE and sit for a moment on that boulder.

Just cause!

:)

14 Left a message at the beep:

Big Pissy said...

Gah!!!!!!

I thought the same thing about Miley Cyrus!!!!

p.s. is that the actual fence?!?!?!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

See Pissy, you and me . . . we're right there . . . two awesome minds having a simultaneous thought!!

:)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

You go girl! It must be univeral; I was sitting there thinking "stand straight" when Miley was on the carpet. Bad posture drives me crazy.

velocibadgergirl said...

OMG, this cracked me up! I agree with all of them and have to add one more. Popped collars on polo shirts. HELLO, DOUCHE ALERT.

The Savage said...

Yes ladies I really do want to see you in your underwear but I don't want to see it as a form of crack-spackle. Pull your pants up because it really is trashy.. this is coming from a perve....

Christine said...

LOL! I swear I think I know where you got the idea for this post! =)

And yes, all those things piss me off too! I've totally turned into that crazy lady that kids should be afraid of. The problem with my "issue" was that they were all at the CHURCH for Wednesday service and I felt like a douche yelling at them. ;) but I still wanted them out of my yard

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Maureen: Everyone thought this, yes they did! AGAAAHHH!!

V-Girl: glad you stopped by ;) And yes popped colars drive me a bit nuts.

Savage: Crack spackle, nice!

Christine: OOOHH you are my muse today!!! :) Remember to shake yer fist all cranky ass neighboor lady like!! :)

Heff said...

- Totally disagree about the cap and the underwear -

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Heff: GET OFF MY LAWN YOU!!!

white rabbit said...

The underwear thing is called a whale tail I believe - for the obvious reason...

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

WR: White TRASH tail!!

Cam said...

Miley was slouching, me thinks, cause her boobins were barely in that dress. Had she thrown those shoulders back, her Ta-Ta's would have become Ta-Da's!

In my humble opinion.

Like backwards caps, but the dude in the picture is an idiot, and I would have had about two stadium beers before telling him so!!

Bruce said...

I want to see you all pregnant and sitting on that Boulder....take a picture!!!!

(here is my favorite pet peeve. Folks that just have to stop and have a converstation at the bottom of the down escalator or in front of the elevator doors. [they always seem so shocked when other people run into them]}

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

BAHH!! I stopped by that fence the other day, they removed the boulder!

BAAAH!! I will do a yoga pose all preggies though. I'm not showing yet but once I am, it's on!

And yeah, people stopping in front of exits/entrances and the like drives Mr. Hall bonkers!

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