Two blocks from the house I grew up in, there was a house on a corner lot. On the corner of their lawn, there was a big boulder. This house was next to our bus stop for middle school. So there we were, 13 year olds. Slouching on the boulder.
And every day dude would come roaring out of his house.
Yelling, "GET OFF THE ROCK!!"
But here's the thing, that yard is now two blocks away from my current house. Because when I moved here- I moved four blocks from the neighbor hood I grew up in.
This still boggles my mind. Because I had never expected to be back here. offt.
Dropping my little girl off to school I noticed something about that same corner lot house. The old bastard GET OFF MY ROCK!! corner lot house.
Dude installed a nasty fence. To send a message I suppose.
This got me to thinking. I need to develop stuff that makes me pop a neck vein. Something that let's me get my crank on. So, without further ado, here is my list of things that make me say
YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
1. Frickin backwards caps
2. Seeing her goddamn underwear. NOT ATTRACTIVE OR CUTE JUST WHITE TRASH!!!
3. I don't fucking care if it's walmart, YOU STILL HAVE TO GET DRESSED BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE GODDAMN HOUSE
4. IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE A GROWN UP AND WEAR A FANCY STRAPLESS DRESS PULL BACK YOUR GOSH DARN SHOULDERS!!!! POSTURE!!!!!
I don't know. These are battles I cannot win. But, I think it only proper I have some seething rage about something. I'm much too cheery really. So, these are my GET OFF MY LAWN complaints.
Yet. Still. When I go to pick up with little girl next monday, I will take a few minutes to sneak behind that POINTY STUPID FENCE and sit for a moment on that boulder.
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