Upside down Jeeps and other soft violence

Mr. Hall and I were in Hawaii once, and we saw a Jeep flip over. It was on the tip of one of the islands. There were off roading trails and walking trails next to each other. No trees or greenery, just rocky terrain.

The jeep tried to go up a hill but tipped backwards and gently landed on it's back. It was a slow and graceful maneuver as the Jeep was going about 2 miles an hour. The driver got out and sort of shook his head, laughing. Then another jeep pulled up near it and they both laughed together. They must have been friends.

And I thought, "Huh, how soft." I mean, if a jeep were to flip over on a highway there would have been sparks a flying, metal crunching, gears screeching and cars piling up. There would have been fear. But here, it was soft violence.

So, now, let's talk about the rabbit.



No, not that kind of rabbit, but Rabbit pose. As seen below.



This has got to be one of my favorite poses in yoga. Ever.

About 2 or three years ago I was in this pose. I was at the tail end of losing 35 lbs on weight watchers and shedding all this emotional ick in the process. The emotional ick was flaming and pulsing most of the time. But I used yoga to heal.

So, there I was, in this pose when I felt a gush and a formation. Under my curved spine, in the cave it formed between my belly and chest, I felt ball of energy materialize. It was emanating from my belly and it felt like an orb. It was all my pain, all my sexual trauma, all my ick--right there. It scared me a little.

Then I started to get really scared. I mean, what was going to happen when I straightened up? I mean, that kind of pain was really hard to carry. But I just couldn't release it. I mean, it was flaming pain! I didn't want to give that to energies in the room. It was my orb and I didn't want to let go of it lest it hurt anyone else. I couldn't really pull it back in either.

Then it dawned on me. I am just one tiny body. Holding in this monumental black and ugly energy. This damaging and painful energy. It's time for me to let it go. To send it out into the universe. Because I have only so much space, a finite amount. Whereas the universe, the energy of God, that is infinite. And if I gave up my pain, my pulsing orb to God, it would be just fine.

No matter how big and heavy it was for me, it would barely register on the universal scale. It was time for me to let go.

So, with the softest violence I unwound from the Rabbit pose and felt all this pain dissipate and disappear. I felt stunned with levity. I was all emptied out, spent like spare change.

Pretty awesome I say.

:)