Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I got a massage once. Dude touched my butt.



I understand why people get massages. The rubbing, the working of the muscles, all of that produces relaxation in your average person. I can say Mr. Hall enjoys a good massage. In fact, he's a freak about it. When he's in a bad mood or isn't doing what I want him to do, I just give him a little temple rub. Or full on back massage with a massage bar. And BAM! He's changed into the strong, sweet man I love. And ruthlessly attacking projects. Like installing recycling bins in the lazy susan.



When I was super pregnant with Mac, I tried a massage. When I mean super pregnant, I mean this pregnant.



Wait, I don't have long red hair. Nor am I a cartoon. Ok, here's me, eight point five months preggies with Mac.



I got naked. Wrapped a white sheet around my swollen belly and nakedness. Layed down and had some dude rub me. He rubbed my arms, my feet, my back and my thighs. It was a full body massage.



OH MY GOD HE'S TOUCHING MY THIGHS THIS MAN WHO IS NOT MY HUSBAND IS TOUCHING MY THIGHS (i thought to myself).

Then, THEN he rubbed my butt. Did ya'll know that the butt is part of the full body massage??!!! DID YA??!!! HUH!!!??

So, in reality, my reaction to a massage is not that of relaxation but rather, it winds me up. Again, I have the crazy A.D.D. energies. My brain is constantly talking, constantly going. I lack internal calm. I use to lack it anyway. I now go to yoga and have learned how to deep breathe. This has been a godsend. I can finally self calm. Yoga has been so healing for me. ;)

That being said, touch, like every other external stimuli, stimulates me. It makes my A.D.D. energies grow. Just like sitting next to TWITCHY HUSBANDS while we are trying to watch a nightly movie.

Plus it is weird having people touch me. All of which is a perfect storm of uncomfortable nakedness with a stranger. A stranger I am paying to massage me. Which I did once. And again, dude touched my butt!!

Well, maybe I can give it another try. I mean, it's been like 3 years. And I am better with that whole strangers touching me. In yoga class, now that they know I'm pregnant, they're guiding me with different postures. Which means they are touching me more. Which I'm ok with. I don't freak the hell out anymore. YAY! More healing with yoga!!

I think the key is to breathe. Welcome the hands of another healer. Realize that massage is letting loose of trapped energy. Just like the yoga.

We shall see ;)

14 Left a message at the beep:

Heff said...

GAHH !!! Picture of Preggers !!!


Heff's out of here !!!!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

oh now!

You'll be BACK!!!

noone can resist the Mrs. Hall!!

mwwhaaa haa haa!!

Cam said...

Do you think if you booked a female, it would produce those same sensations? I can see myself feeling the same 'WHOA THERE BUDDY OLE' PAL, WHERE YOU GOIN' WITH THEM WANDERIN' HANDS OF YOURNS? Whereas with a woman, I really don't think I would. I mean, unless she got really friendly. You know. All up in my goody snacks. (it's a Saturday Night Live thing, sorry)

Okay, yes. Do the massage. Especially after yoga has helped you with the touching. Unwind. Breathe.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

as he was touching my butt i was all silent like. shocked but curious and OMG he's touching my BUTT!!

not in a traumatizing way but a shocked way.

and i'm not sure iffn a woman would have made a difference.

but either way, if they touch my goody snacks

THEN THEY GET TO TIP ME!!

;)

Slyde said...

i have never had a massage...

but i dont think i want anyone touching my butt.

not even me.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Slyde: So funny! haa haa

The Savage said...

yeah.. I got nothing....

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Just a friendly neighborly wave is all that's need Savage ;)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I hear you. I've never had a massage for this reason. If someone's touching my butt I'm doing the opposite of relaxing...

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

well, truth be told, he didn't speak english, so maybe if he did, he could have sounded off a warning shot :)

butt toucher!

carreherman29 said...

Have to disagree here. Have you ever had a really good butt rub? If feels really good - and not in a icky way, but in a omg, can you keep rubbing my butt kinda way. Yeah, I said it. I like my butt rubbed. I think you would too. Just relax, breathe and enjoy :)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

BUTT RUBBER!!!!

;)

Bruce said...

For some reason, I think a more relaxing endeavor for you would shooting a 12 gauge at something.....ala Betty Draper in the front yard....

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Dude touched my butt Bruce!

He TOUCHED MY BUTT!!

GAAH!!

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