Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Let's talk about my feelings about snow (nsfw due to swears)


Last winter, it snowed 350 inches. This is no joke. What that means, in real life terms, is that once or twice a week during winter, it snowed 6 or 7 inches. EVERY FUCKING WEEK. And then, on three separate occasions, it snowed a fucking FOOT AND MORE. In one day.

Now, I try to be a rational human being, I try to look at the brightside of all this. But fucking goddammit. I mean sure, the snow, so far, has been the dusty type. Which is fine. I still get to wear my cute boots. I can live in denial for a while. The kids look cute in there snow gear. But dammit, fucking five inches this morning. Which means I have to wear fucking ugly waterproof winter boots and sweaters. fuck. fuck. fuck.

Which is fine. I mean, last winter Mr. Hall was on a business trip during most of the winter storm SHITE!

And no, we had no snowblower, so I would literally have to leave work early to start shoveling so I could get the kids home ok. And when it would FUCKING SNOW FUCKING NONSTOP MOTHERFUCKING INCHES?

I would strap the kids in the pre-warmed car, give them juice boxes, treats and books, turn on the radio, adjust the heater and shovel while they were in the car. I mean, my son was one years old, I couldn't leave him in the house alone with a five year old. And I had to shovel out from a 4 foot high wall., to get them to school. Ya'll know the wall right? The one the plow guys leave at the end of your driveway. WHICH FUCKING TURNS TO FUCKING SOLID ICE DURING THE NIGHT. I would check on them periodically whilst I shoveled AND CHIPPED AWAY and it worked out for a while. Finally, I threw myself on the mercy of my neighbors, telling them of my temporary single mom hood and they helped me out quite a bit.

But man. IF YOU ARE SNOW AND YOU ARE READING THIS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FUCK FUCK FRIENDS AND YOUR DOG TOO! YOU AND RAT BASTARD COUSIN, FUCKING WINDCHILL OF FUCKING -35 DEGREES!

FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU DIE A SLOW MELTY DEATH!

******************************************************************

On brighter note, this song will always mean special winteriness. I would drive the kids around to look at the Christmas lights during this time, and this song would always play. Pancake loves the part about the wedding cake.

Turn it up loud and wiggle along. EXCEPT YOU SNOW! FUCKING GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Underdog by the band Spoon



7 Left a message at the beep:

B.E. Earl said...

Maybe you shouldn't live in an area that gets that much snowfall.

Just sayin'.

{{Cam}} said...

Yeah, move south. We get warm weather and lots of tornadoes.

I'm with ya, even though I don't think I've ever seen snow higher than a foot. Don't hate me, we make up for it in tornadoes. And, it is true that they always head straight for a trailer park in Kentucky. Maybe there's just more trailer parks in Kentucky? I don't know, it's one helluva interesting phenomena either way. Makes the evening news funny and sad.

Hope you thaw out soon.

Slyde said...

wow, ive never heard that kind of saucy language from you.

i dont know whether to be aghast, or turned on?

Holly Hall said...

B.E. Earl:

Oh, we will move in a few years. I just have to get experience in my new job and such. But there is no way this will be the state we live in forever.

Cam: Good to see your're back! You had gone missing a little! But yea, moving will be a priority in a few years.

Slyde: I don't normally swear. It takes a lot to elicit such unbridled hatred and rage from such an even keeled girl. I reserve it for snow!

FUCKING SNOW GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

:)

Holly

Michelle J said...

I hate SNOW TOO!!!

Fuck yeah!!!

Bruce said...

As much as you may hate it.....you start to miss it when you live in a place where it is 110 fucking degrees for 100 day in a row and you measure the seasons by when you plant rye grass or bermuda grass.

Mother nature likes change, it keeps us on our toes.

Alex said...

You cracked me up! :) I agree with you on the snow, though!

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