God is testing me, I just know it

First, we did indeed sell our house on 9-18-2009. About three weeks ago, and the heaven's rejoiced.

Then we found a house we loved, put in an offer, it was accepted and a thousand violins began to play. Then the roof inspector found serious issues with the roof. Serious as in the roof was built wrong and a large portion was caving in. The owners decided to slap some wood on it and call it a day. mmmmkaayyy, uuhhmmm

We thought since the roof was BUILT WRONG perhaps an engineer could take a look and GIVE DIRECTION ON HOW TO FIX IT INSTEAD OF JUST PATCHING THE PROBLEM. We were willing to split the cost of any repairs. The owners said no, patching is fine and if'n that there slapping of yon wood don't fixit, that's just yer problem now innit? Thus we went our merry way.

We began our house looking journey anew. I would search and get excited. Call the realtor about property only to find that THE HOUSE WAS ALREADY SOLD OR . . . .

This one we looked at last week, it was phenomenal. We toured it, I almost wet myself.



We almost put in an offer and then, THEN we found out IT WAS ALREADY FORECLOSED ON SO WHAT THE HELL NOBODY TELLS US OR OUR REALTOR THUS WASTING ALMOST A WEEK OF OUR TIME??

We could buy a foreclosed property but that takes 4 to 6 months of paperwork and DAMMIT!!!

Then there was this house. Ya'll remember this photo? From this post?

Well, surprise surprise, it was still on the market. It is live able but needs a lot, and I mean a lot of work. But the locale is awesome and the neighborhood is banging so we hold our noses and here comes the cold water. Our offer went out.

24 hours pass, no word from their realtor. 28, 30 and such and so forth. No word. Then last night at 10.30 our realtor called and said this

"They are selling their house to become missionaries. To become missionaries for this particular church they need to sell all of their belongings. And their church was going to be part of the sale which complicates the sale" And then AND THEN!!!!!!

AND THEN!!!!k!

I stopped listening because seriously how fucking hard is it to buy a house?

(sorry about the swears)

How hard people????!!!!!




Mr. Hall warned me about this. He said, "Babe, you are going to hurt yourself getting attached and unattached to theses houses. Really, it can take a while."
I didn't listen. I told him "No, It'll be fine, it'll be ok." And then I proceeded to get attached and detached to every house we have looked at online and in person. Which means I have loved and envisioned myself and family in about 12 dozen houses.

And I am hurt.

I have one broken arm, three broken fingers and a cracked pelvis. And my left foot keeps swelling on and off for no reason.

Well, not really. But. I'm still here in a house that is not my own, with my husband not here 3 days a week. All while living with people that don't really like me. gah. no, no more. Must switch gears hear. Turn this ship around.




All can change though, I have been here before and my mood will change for all sorts of better when we have an accepted offer. Just that step alone cures 95% of what ails Mrs. Hall. So.

There is a house out there, I know there is. One that fights our budget, our local likings and will survive the inspection process. One that we can move into and I can unpack my pots and pans. One where the kids can sleep in their own rooms. One that I can snooze in my cherry wood sleigh bed. One that we can say, this is our home, this is The House of Hall.

Because this is my wish, my hope. This is my salvation. And it's coming, I hope I hope I hope.

Have a good weekend everyone and take care.

:)

Jesus watches over the wet bar

This is the wet bar in my possible future house. If you squint you can find the picture of Jesus.

Feel free to make all sorts of jokes in the comments. :)

Is there anyway to do something with that godaweful cieling?

And now, let's open our hymnal to Alfie chapter one verse two and celebrate the virtues of the THC.

Take care and everyone have a good weekend.

Lily Allen - Alfie full
Uploaded by zuzana256. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

We're already in outer space

On the way back from closing on (and thus officially selling) our house, we stopped at a truck stop restaurant. There was a larger than life size mural of a space ship orbiting the earth.

The sandwiches were ok. I had a tuna melt. Mac had the pickle. He tried to tear it in half to share with his sister. She didn't ask him to, he was sharing spontaneously.

Then Pancake took it and cut it in half, giving half of it back to Mac. They did this very quietly. No real talking, they just did this automatically.

And oh my goodness, my heart swelled with pride and I got all googley moogley with Mommy goodness.

It was out of this world . . . :)



And yeah. Sold the house. Will buy the next on in 26 days . . . . :)

My crazy is attracting wildlife

This one time, at band camp, wait . . no, that's not right. Lemme start again.

This one time, when I was driving on a four lane highway, I saw somebody's wheel come clean off. I was in the right lane, he was all the way over in the opposite right lane. And his front wheel just rolled right off. Then a huge, bright-orange shower of sparks flew into the air as his rim skidded on the concrete.

He pulled over safely. The tire merrily rolled it's way across our lanes. No harm, no foul.

That's my brain right now. The wheels are falling off. And my crazy is activated. Which I am perfectly ok with. Because I know why I am going crazy. And it's all good.

Now animals are getting in on the act.

A few days ago, I was driving home from work. I had just left the parking lot and was on a side street. Then I saw an animal lounging in the middle of the road, almost blocking me. I slowed to way down, trying to figure out what it was. It took me a good five minutes. It was about the size of a cat, but it was reddish-orange and had wiry hair. It moved more like a dog but with a big puffy tail, with a white puff on the end. Then it hit me.









THAT'S A FOX!!

I have never seen a fox before. It was really cool. And really, it was lounging. We made eye contact. The fox sauntered off, all causual. There was no scurring, it just sauntered. All relaxed and see ya later babe.



Then yesterday, I was walking to my car on my lunch break. Looking down, I thought I saw a grass hopper on the sidewalk. It was blindingly sunny out. OOH so sunny and oooohhh so deliciously warm. But, it couldn't be a grasshopper. It looked too big and had a slanted "H" shape. I thought it was a wood chip, all broken or something.




I was walking and staring at it and walking and ... WHAMO!! Two grass hoppers jumped all the way up and pounced against my chest.

I screamed like a little girl!!!!!!

It echoed. Really loudly. I looked around and thank God I was alone.

The grasshoppers, they were getting it on. Right outside the building where I work. On the sidewalk in front of God and everybody. And even in mid hop they didn't unlock themselves. That's dedication to propagation.




After the yelp I realized I had left through the wrong door. My car was parked on the other side of the building. Now, our building only has 10 parking spots. All of which are in the back. Not only had a left through the wrong door, there was no reason for me to forgot where I parked.

Yet, there I was. Getting pelted with mating grasshoppers. In the blinding midday sun. I started giggling at my dorkiness. Then I started laughing. Laughed all the way to the car. ;)

So really, the brain, it's coming unglued a bit. And being rampantly silly. And now, my crazy is attracting all sorts of wildlife. :)

Which is fine and dandy. I have been so wound tight, driving this tense stress ball of my life. Keeping it all together. And now, very soon, I will have a house all to my own. My husband will be back where he belongs. With us, the wife and kids. It's about time I unglued!

When I think about our new house, I feel like I've won the lottery. I just know the guy with the big check and camera crew and people with balloons are just waiting for me. I just keep seeing it, us, in our house.

Paroxysms! Visions! Unstoppable seizures of joy I tells ya!

It's been a long, long, long road. And finally, it's leading me home.*




*Thank you Cam! Your the best!

That's how I am, but, how are you?

For the last two days I have been yawning a lot.


Which is weird.


I mean, I am tired but, I am always kind of tired. And sometimes exhausted. But my yawning. This is new. I was dictating and I was yawning. Showering--yawned. Eating my oatmeal---yawn. Going to bed? A bit giggly.


And then, I was playing with my son. We were on the floor in his bedroom. I was blowing raspberries on his belly. Then I layed down next to him and we looked at the ceiling fan.


"woo-woooooo-woo" he said while tracing circles in the air.


Then Daddy came, he popped up and ran to him.


I curled up in a soft little ball, listening to the kids go crazy with their Daddy.

All sorts of giggles and kids being tossed about.

Then.

I feel asleep.

And slept really hard for 10 minutes. Right there on the floor.

Which was weird.

Well, in less than a week we close on our house. Hand over the keys to the new owners.

Then, in less than one month, we close on the new house. Some other couple will hand over their keys to us. And then, we will have a house again.

They accepted our offer two days ago.

Maybe this recent fit of yawning and passing out on the floor is not so weird after all.

So, that's how I am, but, how are you?

Dear people trying to sell me your house:

Dear people trying to sell me your house:

First, let me say, I know your pain. Having recently sold my house, I realize that one must take it on the chin. It is a buyer's market out there. So please, just bend over and get it over with.

We are all adults here. We have to realize that a real estate transaction is just a transfer of property. A house is just a property. No more, no less. A property you devalued by your crappy interior decorating choices.

Which is fine. Go ahead and crap up your house. I care not. Unless I like your house. If I like your house and you crapped it up, then I get angry. Because if I likes your house, I've already claimed it. And that means you fricked up my house. Which makes me angry. Grrrr...rrr..

You don't want to see me angry.



This kitchen right here, this makes me angry.



There is no cause for two tone cabinet doors. Ok simmer Ms. Hulk, ehh..I mean Mrs. Hall, simmer . . it's gonna be ok . .

Then there is this:



That is from a house I have personally been through. Their reckless and somewhat insane use of color has devalued the house. Cheap ceiling fans... crown molding made of plastic . . . ok simmer... simmer Ms. Hulk. . I mean Mrs. Hall...

Now, I understand everyone has their own sense of style. But, when selling your house, you don't matter any more. You or your cheap ceiling fans. Or painted doors in every room.

That's right, you don't matter anymore because the house is not you. It is property you are selling. Your personal sense of style is making people throw up. And delaying the sell of your house.

I'll give you a minute to mourn that fact.



See now, doesn't that feel better, having a sad? And it's not so bad. Even though you used SHOWER CURTAINS AS WINDOW TREATMENTS IN THE LIVING ROOM doesn't mean it's over.

I am still looking at your house. Still thinking about buying it. I promise I can try to look past your white trash taste. AND UTTER FAILURE AT YOUR DIY UPDATES.

But then you give me this.



Are you trying to hurt me?

I mean, that fireplace is just magnificent. All those shades of brown. And hard wood floors?!!! Those lovely hard wood floors! Then you pick the one color that would fight with that fireplace. AND fight with the floors.

You choose a CRAYOLA BLUE!! You realize that is just nasty right? RIGHT??!!!

So now I am forced to envision my lovely tush, planted on my RICH DARK BROWN, LEATHER, lazy boy couch, NEXT TO THAT GLORIOUS FIREPLACE!! Only my fantasy is being effed up cause I would have to repaint everything.

Why FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY!!??? Why do you make this harder than it needs to be? Why don't you clean up your stupid decorating and do it right before you sell your house.

You are all morons. From the bottom of the cake.

Gah.

GAH

GAHHH

ok simmer Ms. Hulk . . ehh, I mean Mrs. Hall . . . simmer . . . . calm down . . . it'll be ok . . .


Wait. Did I just . .


Wait...



Wait, what is this?? Wait do I see WALLPAPER BORDERS??!!!!!





SHE HULK SMASH!!!!

Breaking out of the cage

There are lots of houses on the market.

Some of them are called character homes. This is real estate language for 'older' and charming home. Think hardwood floors, pocket doors and ornate details. Looking through these homes online is making me feel better than the houses I actually walked through.

I have found one that, if it were here right now, I'm marry it.

But, the sale of our house has hit a snag. It's resolving and we are still on track to close the sale in the first week of September.

Again, selling one's house is a bit like prison sex.

Now that it is resolving my mind is wandering and looking over images that make me all googley moogley.

Very soon, we will be out of this cage. In our new house. Complete with a lush and vibrant milieu.

Oh yes, it will be done . . . .

The Killers - Mr. Brightside

Stalking my future house

I've been spending a lot of time looking at houses. I find myself getting greedy with different features. Bigger houses, bigger price tags. Flipping through the photos again and again. Driving by my favorite houses again and again.

But, the point of all this- is not to have big effing house, all tricked out and beyond our means. This is not a game of Pimp My House.

So, let's pause and listen to the man who hosts Pimp My Ride.

And hear his thanks for all that he has been given.

And let me feel my blessings and be thankful.

And then, we will find a house befitting the House of Hall :)

Missing money and twitching all over (big NEWS!)

Mr. Hall was paying for dinner the other weekend. He opened his wallet and made a frowny face.

"My wallet, it stays so full. I am so use to you scooping out the money. Taking all my tens and twenties." He sighed.

This apartness, this living two separate lives during the weekdays, it's starting to wear us down.

but. wait.

this post will not be about that.

no.

wait for it.

wait for it.

wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt

We have offers on the house people.

offerssSSS

Now, if you'll exuse me I going to start twitching with excitement and maybe get all watery eyed. And when we close the house and buy a new one ..

O

I'll be all snot bubble cry and hire a mariachi band to celebrate properly!

GAAAHHH!!!!!

ok about a dozen people have seen the house, three more scheduled this weekend.

GAAAAH!!!!~!!!!#(((*&^Y*^*()&*()&*(

GGGAAAHHHH!!!!PLEASE PLEASE OEAPLKFSALFAS SOOONN!!! HOPE HOPE HOPE!!!!!

GGGAAAAH!!!!!

OK THEN

LET'S RELAX WITH THIS DIDDY.


breathe, breathe, breathe . . . .

:)

(for my daughter and me ;)