What if I didn't call my doctor on Monday?
What if I didn't say, "I've had three negative pregnancy tests-and my period hasn't come-and it's day 35 of my cycle-can I stop the progesterone now?"
And what if hadn't taken the progesterone in the first place? Then I wouldn't be calling my doctor, asking to start my period.
And why am I taking this in the first place? Because I've been pregnant four times and carried two babies to term.
I wonder why my doctor asks me to do these things. To take these pills and use other supplements. And now I'm using yet even more pills to start my period. Yet, I was normal before this. Those two babies, that I carried to term, they are eight and four. Sleeping across the hall. My system works.
Why is my doctor asking me to mess with the system? I suppose I could ask.
Why didn't I ask in the beginning? I was just scared- so I did what she said to do.
What if I didn't feel scared? What if I tapped into a power I know has healed so much of me already? What if I prayed for God to help me? What if I trusted God with every last bit of all of this?
That would mean stopping. And letting go.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
What if I did?
Labels: life grows on