Saturday, November 6, 2010

What if I didn't?

What if I didn't call my doctor on Monday?

What if I didn't say, "I've had three negative pregnancy tests-and my period hasn't come-and it's day 35 of my cycle-can I stop the progesterone now?"

And what if hadn't taken the progesterone in the first place? Then I wouldn't be calling my doctor, asking to start my period.

And why am I taking this in the first place? Because I've been pregnant four times and carried two babies to term.

I wonder why my doctor asks me to do these things. To take these pills and use other supplements. And now I'm using yet even more pills to start my period. Yet, I was normal before this. Those two babies, that I carried to term, they are eight and four. Sleeping across the hall. My system works.

Why is my doctor asking me to mess with the system? I suppose I could ask.

Why didn't I ask in the beginning? I was just scared- so I did what she said to do.

What if I didn't feel scared? What if I tapped into a power I know has healed so much of me already? What if I prayed for God to help me? What if I trusted God with every last bit of all of this?

That would mean stopping. And letting go.

What if I did?

4 Left a message at the beep:

B.E. Earl said...

I realize I haven't commented in a while. But then you realize you could remedy that with a pic of Christina Hendricks.


~E said...

Are you preggers????

Mrs. Hall said...

no but we are trying :)

Lotus07 said...

Ow yeah...Christina Hendricks.....owww baby.....

..wait, where was I.. Oh yeah. You raise some very interesting points here, although you may or may not know it.

Doctors (the medical kind, not the nurse practioneer kind) tend to see their profession in terms of the 'bio-medical model'. Which is to say, the body is like a machine that either works correctly, or does not work. If it does not work, they try and fix it, either with medication or surgury.

There has been a big debate over the years about whether this is the correct thing to do or not. Counseling and 'doing no harm' should be the first thing that doctors do, but that is rarely the case these days.

Except for accute issues, I don't think a doctor is going to help you get pregnant. But that won't stop them from trying. Which isn't necessarily a good thing.

You aren't a machine to be fixed. You are a person that needs to heal and come to terms.

....just sayin....

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