Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Wax on/wax off, the sex face and killing Zombies that were Left 4 Dead



It happens every time when I get my eyebrows waxed.

I lay down on a table, close my eyes and relax my hands. I deep breathe and repeat the word "bird" over and over in my brain. It is a mantra to relax me.

Yet, every damn time, it happens.

First, the girl takes a cotton ball and smooths the hair with rubbing alcohol. Then I see her stirring the wax with a popsicle stick. I close my eyes. I feel the warm, hot wax coat my lower brow. It grips the skin and I feel tugging while she smooths it on. Then she takes muslin cloth and smooths that down, pressing hard with her index fingers.

At this point my eyes have teared up. Only my eyes are shut, so the tears are gunky and gluey. My eyelids are cemented to my eyeballs.

RIP!!!

I try not to flinch but my whole body jerks. I pry open my eyes. My gluey tears spill out like a bucket of hot baby oil was kicked over.

This is repeated RIP!!!
three RIP!!!
moreRIP!!!

times to finish waxing the brows of Mrs. Hall.

It's embarrassing. And despite my deep breathing and mantras IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING!! I mean, it's not that painful. I have no idea what the hell my deal is with this.

And the women that wax my brows? They often have a look of horror/concern on their faces. And I try to explain, that really, I'm just a wuss. A scaredy cat. No cause for alarm.

The woman last night, she didn't react this way. She just smiled gently. And she was really kind. She wiped my tears and said, it's ok, we are almost done.

It's ok, we are almost done, she said.

And when she painted my toes, she was really kind. She spent a good 15 minutes creating little flower designs on my toes. She didn't hurry or linger. It was just the right amount of attention. Which is the hard part for me, during these appointments. The attention.

It is most difficult during the pedicure. While tending to the toes, the women often massage the foot/lower leg. I have to consciously relax during this. Massage has a paradoxical effect on me.

It tenses me. gaaahh... touching .... gaaahhh... stranger ...... And I don't want to appear LIKE THE FREAK I AM WHO DOESN'T LIKE MASSAGES so I just really try to stay calm and nice. And quiet.

Above all, I try to stay quiet. Which, considering she didn't really speak English, was not that hard.

But, when I was tearing up during the wax, it set off real sadness. Real tears on the inside. I think she sensed that and was really nice to me. Not nice in a 'I'm doing this for the tips' kind of way but really nice. She took care while she tended to me.

Then I came home and was really nice to Mr. Hall. He was playing one of his favorite computer games, Left 4 Dead. Which involves killing Zombies. I gave him a thorough scalp, neck and shoulder message. All while he killed Zombies.



Lots and lots and lots of Zombie killing to be had in that game.



This game is a group type game. Each player is part of a team. You log on and join in. It is very interesting listening to the chatter of other players, hearing Australian or German accents. But, you work as a team, going around killing zombies, helping bandage each other up when somebody gets shot.



Helping each other out is essential, you can't survive any other way.



Mr. Hall speaks softly while killing scores and scores of Zombies. It's like he's in a meditative trance. He really must like this game. After all, the entire time, when chasing and shooting with his hands on the keyboard, he kept making sex faces. The kind of faces he makes, well, the kind of faces he makes while being very nice to me ;)

14 Left a message at the beep:

Slyde said...

MR HALL PLAYS LEFT 4 DEAD?

OK, you DO know ive been playing l4d since the morning it came out, right?

my username is SLYDE01. tell hubby to friend me and we can play sometime.

p.s tell him l4d2 comes out by christmas.. cant wait!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Will let Mr. Hall know :)

He loooovvveeesss Left 4 dead. I am glad I put that in the title of the post. I was curious how many of the group played.

:)

wweee heee!

Zombie killing!!

Big Pissy said...

I wonder if my son-in-law plays that...he's always playing those kinds of games and talking to other players who aren't in the room with him. It used to throw me off. The talking to people who aren't there.

Now it's just part of his charm. :)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

"It used to throw me off. The talking to people who aren't there."

TELL ME ABOUT IT!! GEEZZ!!! I mean really, I was like, who is that talking? and he explained it to me, then I was all like, can they hear us talking??

I guess you have to press a button for them to hear you. :)

You should ask your son in law if he plays left 4 dead. maybe get a whole blogger group going :)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

"It used to throw me off. The talking to people who aren't there."

TELL ME ABOUT IT!! GEEZZ!!! I mean really, I was like, who is that talking? and he explained it to me, then I was all like, can they hear us talking??

I guess you have to press a button for them to hear you. :)

You should ask your son in law if he plays left 4 dead. maybe get a whole blogger group going :)

GeologyJoe said...

book recommendation: World War Z

Nothing said...

How or why do women wax? That sounds painful.

At least you had the feet taking care of properly. Mr. Hall needs therapy...the sexual kind.

Hank said...

Mrs. Hall, honey....sigh. The things ladies do to look good. Makes me glad to be a guy.....take a shower, put on clean skivvies, maybe even brush our teeth and we're good.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Nothing: WHY do women do the things we do? Well, i can only speak for me.

I a woman who strives to live a happy life, to improve and make happy all the areas of myself.

I seek to elevate my appearence, look all babe like and awesome because that's who I am on the inside :)

Hank: Do you use a man mosturizer for the face, with an SPF of 30? You can prevent looking like an old wrinkled bastard that way . . :)

Perhaps you can were some awesome cologne...

Hugo Boss
Adias
CK One

All men's colognes that make women stop in their tracks and go....

oooh ..., what are you wearing?

then they lean in for a sniff.

which is beneficial, if you like chicks and all.

and never underestimate a good wardrobe.

I am a firm belivier in NOT LOOKING LIKE A YOKEL.

go ahead now, think about your clothes. Could you be mistaken for a homeless guy?

DO YOU WEAR TUBE SOCKS????

Does your pug hang his head in shame and pretend not to know you when in public?

Or do you wear clothes that make women go, oohh.. what is that shirt made of, looks nice,

then they touch the shirt . . .

which is beneficial if you like chicks and all . . .

now, go, find those colognes.... tell me what you think ... :)!!!!

!!!

:)

Joanna Jenkins said...

I yiyiyiyi, the eyebrow waxing made me cringe. Ouch

Lestat de Lioncourt said...

Why am I aroused at the end of that?

Cam said...

Umm..okay.

Well, then...

What I Learned From This Post
by Cam

I learned that if Mrs. Hall ever turns into a zombie, Mr. Hall will get her dealt with right quickly. But, should she escape, the only means of protection I need is a big vat of eyebrow wax.

Also, if one plays the game Left 4 Dead, it is imperative that one make a sex face as one plays. This is the key to success.

In summation, eyebrow wax bad, killing zombies with your sex face good.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

JJ: The eyebrows look daaammmnnn good . . . . .:)

LdeC: It's subtle the veribage in my posts, and this is part of the charm of la blog de senora hall . . .

Cam: Well, the brow wax really, gaah, but again, my brows loook FANTASTIC!!! , this is why i keep going back!!! :) and yes, killing zombies with sex face good!!!

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