Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The art of sucking it up

This is my daughter and I--about three years ago.

My baby girl is no longer stroller size. She's six and half now. Last month, she got new rollerblades. When I bought them, I didn't mess around. I took her to a sporting goods store and had her fitted. I had her take a spin around the store and everything. She had been using these up until then.

These are plastic barbie skates. Not quality.

Yet, with the barbie skates, she had gone very far. She had been teaching herself to skate. This involved a lot of falling and failing. All the while, with little or no prompting from either parent, she sucked it up. She was self regulating her determination.

When she picked out a helmet and pads at the sporting goods store, she said, "Mom, I don't really need princess ones anymore." I purchased real pads for her. In black.

We practiced with the new skates on basketball courts and track loops. Then, last night, we took a walk on the regular sidewalks on our block. She skated and fell. And fell. A LOT. Yet, there it was, no tears or whining. Then, after a super harsh fall, she looked up at me while splayed out on someone's lawn. She croaked, "I'm no good at skating." I could see her tiny chin, starting to bounce and quiver. Tiny pink bottom lip, jutting out. Eyes all moist.

I looked straight ahead, "I'm not gonna hear that from you, 'cause it's not true."

I said it calmly. Then I started walking, slowly. Not helping her up.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO that just killed me. Kills me to write it too. Every mommy instinct got all apey inside. I was just burning with crazy mommy urges to rush, to make it better. I was all tense, the inner voice getting growly, Fix it, run to her, make it better, she needs me, make it better!!!

But running over, scooping her up, is not what she needed. Not this time. I am teaching my mommy instinct the art of discernment. To help my daughter in the best way. I bit my lower lip, lowered my shoulders and calmly walked forward. Breathing, breathing, breathing . . .

Then, she got up.

Barreled forward.

Blew passed me.

And barreled all the way home like a bat outta hell.

I had to jog to keep up with her. And when I caught up with her, she was sitting on the front porch, taking her skates off. She was all sweaty and short of breath.

She looked up and said, "MOM! THAT WAS FUN!!!


9 Left a message at the beep:

the queen said...

YOu have amazing parenting skills. It sounds so hard.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Good for your lovely daughter!!!!!! And good for you! I'd have needed a Xanax to walk away :-))))) Maybe that's why I don't have any kids :-)
Keep up the good work!

Hank said...

Wow. I'm speechless, Mrs. Hall, honey.....and that don't happen very often!

Good fer you(AND yer girl), mom!

B.E. Earl said...

I can't skate.

Never learned. Never really wanted to. That is all.

Big Pissy said...

You're such a great mom. :)

p.s. I can't skate either.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Queen: I do. And it is. :) Thanks for stopping by :)

JJ: Yeah, my ability to calm down has greatly increased at this point. I mean, the girl is six now, six years of continued exposure to such things. I prol'l could have used Xanax the first year of her life. But, no need at this poing. Maybe a glass of wine here and there . . . :)

Hank: Yes, I can even make the barkiest of dogs silent with my calm and assertive manner. I am like the child whisperer. This works on dogs too! o and GO PUGS!!!

Earl: Yeah, that's the thing. She WANTS to skate and this is pushing her past any inclination to whine and give up. Awesome eh?

Pissy: You can't skate . . . yet!

Heff said...

I fell ONCE and decided that skating is for fags.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...






Slyde said...

isnt that awesome?

my son (who is 6 1/2 as well) gives up on things way to easily.

i JUST got him really swimming this summer finally. before last month, he wouldnt even put his head underwater..

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