Day four of studying. One more to go. I am doing eight or nine hours a day of straight studying. I am in the phase of studying where I don't care. Gone are the fun stuff to study, the neurotransmitters, the brain, the mental disorders themselves. Gone are the medications and how they effect the brain. It is now nursing theories, developmental theories, blah blab bhbh. BIg words . . . blah bhallakfdhdkdkkK!!!!
But the exam is this week. It's amazing what a deadline will do for motivation. Plus, if I reschedule the exam, it would cost four hundred dollars. Amazing what that fact does for motivation.
I missed family activities this weekend. This makes me sad. The kids went all apey at the pool yesterday with Mr. Hall. That is the kind of Dad he is, taking the kids so I can study. But here's the thing, he was there for SIX hours. Six.
This is unbelievable. Now, my munchkins, Pancake and Mac are 5 and 2 respectively. They are an awesome, but relentless source of demands, diapers, hair braiding, whining, snot, cute sausage toes, butt cheeks like dollaps of vanilla ice cream . . . . . . But relentless is the word. Relentless work and need. And honestly, I can't get enough of it. At home.
I will take them places. However, my limit is two hours. Three if I have the Mr. Hall. But six!! Sharp stick in the eye, I say. That man, my husband, never falls to surprise me.
He has a Zen way of Daddying. And a Zen way of being Mr. Hall. During all of this he has demanded I take time to unlock the stress. To 'recover and recharge.' He has been vigilant with me as I start to get all numb and shut him off. This is my pattern as my stress level rises. I don't think it is possible, living this life without him. He is the bee's knees. Or the cat's ass as the english say.
So back to studying.
I see the light at then end of the tunnel, I just have to keep chugging.
Wish me luck.
The Character Builder's Bible
7 months ago