Sunday, October 18, 2009

When is good, good enough? Discuss.



Somewhere around the second kid I had a monster humungo revelation.

The pressure I felt to be THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD, TO BE A GOOD MOM, TO PROVIDE EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING MY CHILDREN NEED 24/7, TO READ ALL THE PARENTING WEBSITES AND PARENTING MAGAZINES.... all of it is bullshiz.

The perfect mom is some artificial construct I made up. Some unattainable ideal I would compare myself to. That's no good. To be a good mom I needed to BE NICER TO MYSELF THAN THAT!!! That's when I decided, during my days off at work, I was going to keep the kids in day care if I needed a day off. And

AND

When they napped I was going to nap too. Not just stay awake "In case they needed me!"


WHICH BRINGS ME TO MR. HALL AND OUR NEW HOUSE.

Knock on wood we close soon.

First, let me show you the mind of Mr. Hall:



So complicated, yet so detailed and organized. It's the mind of an engineer. Complicated, detailed and organized. But this mind, it liked our soon to be new house. The inspector liked it too. He found about 13 things that required attention and fixing. Most were minor, none were deal breakers. And really, we really only needed 3 things fixed.

Mr. Hall called the carpenter, the pool guy and the roofer and got estimates. My head would get dizzy deciphering the details. He keeps it all in line. Its a thing of beauty, the mind of Mr. Hall.

So, right before we presented the estimates to the seller...............

We found out the seller had already fixed 12 items. Then, instead of fixing the 13th item, which was trivial anyway, they gave us their snowblower. And it is a sweeeet snowblower my good people. All told, they dropped 3000 fixing stuff. Um, ok then.

In all honesty, we were floored. We were thankful because yeah, thank you seller! Thank you for being a decent human being!

But here's the thing. They fixed everything, but not to the standards of Mr. Hall. Again, he is an engineer. And he had explained the best way of fixing stuff to me. His way of fixing stuff begins at the root of the issue. His way makes sense.

The seller had fixed things in more of a patch work kind of way. Less expensive and sturdy for sure but, gah. We know they didn't fix things the best way. The way we could have.

But here's the thing.

IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER.

NOT ONE BIT.

Because we have looked through so many houses. Torturing ourselves with questions, analyzing the data, working the angles. Because we are smart people. We know the best for us and we are trying to figure out the best way to get there.

BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. I AM DONE BEING BEATEN DOWN BY DOUBTS AND QUESTIONS. I AM DONE TRYING TO BE THE BEST HOUSE BUYERS.

Because this good is good enough. Because we're getting a hot tub with this house. A hot tub that we can make new babies in. There's a fire place to warm my back during the winter. The kids will have their own room. Mr. Hall gets a work shop. So yeah, in this case.

Good is good enough. GRRR!!!!



So, I ask , When is good, good enough for you?

6 Left a message at the beep:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Sounds heavenly,....good enough for me.

Congrats!

Sue said...

Oh... I totally feel for you. My husband is THE SAME WAY!

I must agree with Mr. Hall though when it comes to the house and having things fixed.

The sellers want to sell their house, they are not going to let a buyer get away, unless they are arrogant and retarded.

They won't let you walk. If they do, you have a better house waiting for you somewhere else.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Candy: Yeah, it is pretty awesome ;)

Sue: We are going to take a third look at it today to see exactly what and how it was fixed. So yeah, it's fixed and really there is no going back unless they really messed it up.

I have hope! :)

GiGi said...

I was raised by a Marine, so I have very high standards about things getting fixed. My husband does not...so, thank God for the handy man dude. Without him, our home would be falling apart! Good luck.

Bruce said...

A house, any house, is a never ending project...you don't buy it in perfect condition and expect it to stay that way. Standards change, building codes change, additions WILL be built. The only thing that has to be perfect is the work shop with the tools. Everything will spring from that.

......(wow...you got a free snowblower????? sweet)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

GiGi: Yeah, sometimes it's best to let the professionals guide the process :)

Bruce: Oh man. thank you for writing that. I mean, really, that there is a voice of reason. Thanks Bruce.

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