Riddle me this

When ever someone refers to me as a 'working mom' I get a little miffed. I mean, sure, I do work but not that much. And certainly not that hard. I work 30-35 hours a week talking to people. It's mental health work, not heavy lifting. I want to make a bumper sticker that says, "every mom is a stay at home mom-we never really go anywhere!"

I get home at five pm every day, except every other Monday. Every other Monday, I have off of work! I don't work pms, nights or weekends. Or holidays. Or federal holidays. I am not bragging, just blessed beyond belief.

Mr. Hall works from home. Remotely logging into people's computers and fixing them. Migrating servers at times. This frees him up to drop off and fetch the kids. It's really wonderful this arrangement. Frees us up from daycare costs. Makes me feel happy inside.

So.

Sometimes, when I get home my daughter sort of has a meltdown about her day. She spills out the troubles, the crazies, the sads, the 'he took my pencil and called me stupid' stuff. She'll get red faced and heavy sobs. Which is typical for a nine year old girl. Girls are delicate and sensitive. So I hug her.

Having a big heart is tough. Caring deeply about stuff is tough. Especially when you don't have the best skills at regulating your emotions. Especially when you're nine. But, I have a big sensitive heart, it's how I make a living. So-she'll be ok :)

SO HERE'S MY QUESTION.

Why OH WHY WHY WHY does she wait to spill her guts till I GET HOME? She has a full hour and half with her Daddy before I come home. A Daddy who cares, loves and listens just as much as her Mommy! Why does she wait until I come home to spill?

I can say that I'm not that good of a problem solver either. Daddy takes her concerns, compiles them logically, puts them in context and solves things for her. I try this approach and she doesn't always respond. Then, I get a bit huffy and tell her to suck it up.

So why does she wait until I get home? I mean, I'll come home, she'll be totally rocking out with her legos or coloring and BAM! The water works start! I mean, I pay attention to her outside the tears. We do lots of stuff together and hang out a lot. It's not like she is lacking attention from her Momma. And I work, but not that much!

What you do think?

Why I love Mr. Hall, right here

I yelled downstairs to Mr. Hall, "CAN YOU GOOGLE ROY G BIV? I NEED TO KNOW THE COLORS!!" To which he replied, "WHY?" and then questioned the logic of my project that required rainbow colors. Because Mr. Hall always tries to use logic with me. Especially when I am knee deep in a project, having already decided exactally how things should go.

Like the 'lazy man's air conditioner'. Which I spoken of before. Basically, you take an ordinary fan, strap an ice pack to the front and WHALLA! Poor man's air conditioner! Except Mr. Hall pointed out that the ice pack would block air and thus make the room warmer. DANG LOGIC! I coulda made a million dollars!!

Last week, I was feeling guilty for working out in the morning and missing the kids as they went off to school. "I can't help you out in the mornings!", I said. "It doesn't matter," he explained, "They just need to get up and out. You get in the way anyway." Which is so nice for him to say. :)

Then, I asked him about our recent ultrasound of our little bean. I asked him what he thought of the appointment. Was he all shook up like me? All verklempt?

"No," he said. "The doctor said I had super sperm and BA BAM! Looked how I just knocked you right up!! He said we need to put a sign by our pool for the neighboor ladies to WATCH OUT! Fertile man swims here!"

My jaw dropped. The doctor said no such thing! But Mr. Hall had a point. We can get all excited about this. Happy and joyful even!

Then. He said,

"I should put an ad on craigslist. If people are having trouble getting pregnant, I can charge a fee for my services!"

hee hee heee

Met my ob this morning, he seems nice

I told myself I wouldn't test until about 3 months in. Then, I was at the grocery store and spotted $1.00 pregnancy tests right by the check out. They were marked down to 50 cents! I grabbed one at the last minute. I told my husband I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to know. He said, "I'm suprised you didn't test in the store!"

That was two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I said I wasn't going to contact an OB-GYN doctor until I was 3 months along. Then, last week, I started spotting a little. It stopped right away. Which can be perfectly normal. The ob had me do tests and come in for an ultrasound. The scan was this morning.

The little bean is 4 mm and has a strong heartbeat. He said everything looks good and I can keep on doing what I'm doing. He was nice. Talked slow. Had warm hands which was nice. I am 6 weeks one day pregnant.

During the ultrasound I started to cry. I cried for happy, I cried for scared, I cried for crazy and I cried for sad. I feel shell shocked. I feel like I want to crawl inside my own body and hold my little grain of rice size baby and tell her I love her. Because I do.

I thought I had all this under control. I thought I had my emotions all healed and the crazy was healed. I thought a lot of things. Turns out I was wrong.

And this is ok.

Today I will go back to work and be all professional. In my quieter moments I will lose my shizzle and cry some more.

So.

Let's all hold hands and bow our heads because the Tribe Called Hall has been blessed with another miracle. Let's give thanks and praise. This miracle that has a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg way to grow. But we love her. And we'll love her all the way. :)

Fresh, hot photos here!

Red sky at night

Five weeks today

Making them pose for their supper

To test for drunkness at my work

Wise sign at St. Vinnies

Glorious Sky


Monkey love

ALL PHOTOS BY ME AND MY CELL PHONE CAMERA :)

NEW HEADER PHOTO!!

It's about time I started using my own photos.

Feel free to let me know whatcha think!

TTFN!

Bodypump class and my attitude adjustment

So, for the past 3 weeks I've been at Bodypump class starting at 5.15 am. It's like an aerobic class with weightlifting, all timed to techno versions of popular songs. It looks like that class up there. Our instructor is a man named Bob, who is about 50and complains about his knees sometimes. He sings along with the music and tells us what moves to do. People whoop and holler during the tough parts. I've started whoop a bit too. It's either that or I start flipping Bob off.

Yeah see, I'm not a fan of getting up early and getting pumped up for the day. But, I have a work out partner and dangnammit, I'm doing things I never thought possible. This is isn't all about me. Which is a nice change! And the more I do, the greedier I get. I'm going to spinning tomorrow where another teacher will yelp and push me. I hope to have warm thoughts about the spinning teacher. But, I'll probably have an attitude about it. Hopefully I'll hide it well.

Again, the urge to give the teachers the stink eye is strong. The voices in my head that SCREAM FOR ME TO GO BACK TO BED AND FERGET IT are strong. My crabby is strong. But, I'm a grown up and I can stick my fingers in my ears and say 'LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!' I can ignore the voices and crabby and just do this anyway. And sure enough, I am. The voices and crabby are getting quieter. Which is nice.

Then, there was last week.

I forgot my towel last week. The girl at the front desk said that I can use their towel for a fee of one dollar. Now, I'm a Christian woman, quiet, friendly even. So, I said, "A dollar? For a towel?" Then I felt the crazy rise up, deep crazy, ape shit crazy. I realized I was GLARING at her and ugly words were rushing to my mouth and I needed to dial that crap back on down!

I counted to ten in my head. I was still staring though. She went on to explain that I can add a towel fee to my membership for 10 dollars a month. Which is bullshiz because their 'towels' are no bigger than worn out hand towels. I was still staring at her.

I gently took the towel and went on my way.

I didn't pay the dollar fee. I've been back every week day since and she hasn't asked me for the dollar. But, I've remembered to bring my towel every day since, so there's that.

Small victories!

It's been too long

I've always wondered how blogs die. I mean, when I started this puppy, I would put out 1 or 2 posts A DAY. Long, chewy posts. Now it's been almost a month since my last post.

It's been too long!

But what can I say? I don't have any new news. Still working towards foster parenthood. Still working towards getting knocked up. Still enjoying my saucy life as a mom, wife and a nurse.

Been getting up at 4.45 am to work out with a friend. That is nice. I wouldn't go without her. Plus, she texts me with things like, "I'm on the toliet, see you in a few". And other such potty humor. She gets me.

Went to the fertility yoga class and with the Mommies that are on the NEED TO GET PREGNANT NOW-WHATEVER IT TAKES treadmill. Which I totally want to hug them about. I use to be on that treadmill and invited a bunch of yuck into my life as a result. I'm healed now, through the power of faith, and dangnammit, I want to hug the women in that class. I think my cheeriness falls on deaf ears. I'm at peace with all of this and their swirling crazily. Hugs to anyone that is trying to conceive (ttc) because God loves you and so do I.

Foster care is starting to scare the crap out of me. Not much more to say about that. I'll take it as it comes. Again, it's something I've given up to God. So, again, I feel peace.

So, I could go on and on about many things but there is nothing going on. I can say I get frustrated with the women folk in my life because FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY JUST SAY YES WHEN I INVITE YOU TO ZUMBA/DINNER/LUNCH/COFFEE/A WALK. Stop telling me you have to ask your husband if he'll watch the kids, stop telling me you're too busy because you can't say no to work/volunteer obligations cause that's your fault and just say yes to letting yourself grow outside your roles.

Sorry for the run on sentence.

But, it bugs me. I realize I have a golden husband that supports whatever I am and want to be. I realize I have boundaries with the obligations in my life and therefore have copious amount of awesome time. I realize I am unique in my fun loving side that can jump in and do pretty much everything and anything because I love adventure.

I realize I am unique in the respect.

Ok, 'nuff complaining.

I leave you with something my daughter said. She made a new friend and she's all excited. "I know she's going to be a good friend because she believes like me." And I said, "Believes what?"

"She believes that anything is possible, even that I can hold up a hotel with my pinky!"

(AWESOME!!)