I told myself I wouldn't test until about 3 months in. Then, I was at the grocery store and spotted $1.00 pregnancy tests right by the check out. They were marked down to 50 cents! I grabbed one at the last minute. I told my husband I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to know. He said, "I'm suprised you didn't test in the store!"
That was two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I said I wasn't going to contact an OB-GYN doctor until I was 3 months along. Then, last week, I started spotting a little. It stopped right away. Which can be perfectly normal. The ob had me do tests and come in for an ultrasound. The scan was this morning.
The little bean is 4 mm and has a strong heartbeat. He said everything looks good and I can keep on doing what I'm doing. He was nice. Talked slow. Had warm hands which was nice. I am 6 weeks one day pregnant.
During the ultrasound I started to cry. I cried for happy, I cried for scared, I cried for crazy and I cried for sad. I feel shell shocked. I feel like I want to crawl inside my own body and hold my little grain of rice size baby and tell her I love her. Because I do.
I thought I had all this under control. I thought I had my emotions all healed and the crazy was healed. I thought a lot of things. Turns out I was wrong.
And this is ok.
Today I will go back to work and be all professional. In my quieter moments I will lose my shizzle and cry some more.
Let's all hold hands and bow our heads because the Tribe Called Hall has been blessed with another miracle. Let's give thanks and praise. This miracle that has a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg way to grow. But we love her. And we'll love her all the way. :)