Love you Pancake

I can't help but feel sheepish here.

Here, in this post, I am stepping back and thinking about things. Specifically thinking about the girl. I don't often veer into Mommy Blog territory. There are a lot of Mommy Blogs out there. Most of which are fun to read, and some are very well written. I don't want to write about my kids. Not here anyway. Here is for me. Me beyond a Mom.

Which is not entirely true. If you click on the label Pancake, 95% of the entire archive will come up. If you are a Mom, you are no longer separate. The same for goes for being a wife and a nurse.

So, I wonder. Will she ever read this? What if my daughter decides to poke around and read some of the things written here. I am hyper aware of this. Even though she is only six. And she can only read a little.

But, I am hyper aware of my responsibility to her no matter what I do. Even if it is blogging. Even if she never reads a word, she still hears what I write. And I want her to here my love.

What I fear most is for her to read the sad and icky parts. The parts where I call her grandparents out for not being so nice. Or call out her Grandad for being a bit of a selfish jerk. Or call out her Grandma for being, well, not being the mom I want. I don't say these things out loud to her. She loves these people. And I nurture this. It would hurt her to hear these things. But yet I write them here. And when she is old enough, I will let her read these posts. And not censor her view of my blog. The key is 'old enough'.

Old enough is a process really. It is more a matter of emotional maturity. Which I am teaching her. I mean, I am honest with my feelings and I am teaching her to be honest about hers. She is, in turn, teaching the cat this skill. When we moved the cat into the house this weekend, he was all spooked. Pancake made it a point to tell the cat, "I know your scared, it's ok to be scared, we love though, and we are here for you." She gently pet the cat as she did this. Again, sometimes she is so wonderful, my heart actually aches.

BUT enough stalling.

Pancake my love-

Someday, I will post things here that um, I didn't even tell your Dad until we had been married for five years. I may not be direct, but there is a lot of pain and complexity to Mommy. Being complex is Mommy's Achilles Heel. I use to be wrapped up in a lot of pain and selfishness. I've struggled. It has been ugly at times. But it's ok. It is through struggle that we learn and grow.

And I wouldn't be the Mommy I am to you and Mac without the trails and tribulations.

Mark my words dear love, your Mommy is getting simpler every day . . . .

Potter's Ground (now Youtube video free!)

OK so.

There was a time, last week, when the Mrs. Hall profile, and other assorted items, didn't display next to the posts on the main page of this blog. This got me ancy. And I did all sorts of things to try and fix it. Switched things around in the layout section, resaved, switched templates.

Then, after a couple Tom and Jerry drinks (a frozen yummy mix you mix with brandy and rum) I basically lost my blog and all the archives with all my futzing. For ten minutes, the main page was a bunch of MS-DOS characters. I really almost freaked out. I mean, Christ! HOLY SHITE!

Luckily, Mr. Hall was able to retrieve it. Which was great. After all, he made me the drinks.

I lost the scores to Potter's Ground though. And some other stuff. But, the archives survived. Either way, I decided to change things up for the new year. I tried to switch my profile to a redhead babe (people kept thinking I was Asian-I'm white).

But have you ever typed "redhead" into Google image search? Thousands and Thousands of porn images. Seriously, eww.

But I did find a nifty banner under the search for "red dress". Hence the new banner. I like the polar bear. Fitting on account of all the snow around here. Plus, I like how the woman is sleeping and peaceful. Things are sleepier and more comfy during winter. And I did find another babe for the profile.

So, my question for Potter's Ground . . . . . .

What is your favorite drinking song?

or

What is you best drinking story?

Points awarded accordingly and dangit, I will look over things to try and figure out as to who was in the lead . . . . .

. . . . . before I almost burnt the blog down.

:)

Good Luck!

Best Christmas Ever!!!

Hey All! How was your Christmas? Mine went like this:

Wrapping doesn't stand chance!

TRAINS!!!!!!

One Mouse House made by Pancake

She used


To make a bed, some seeds for food and other amenities. She also made the mouse a toilet.


Let's Go Bowling!!




It was THIRTY DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!! and SUNNY!!! We made good use of the snow.

THANK YOU SNOW!

At the end of the day,

Mac was so tired that he literally climbed up on the couch and tackled Pancake.

They stayed like this for 15 minutes.

That is my hand on his cute tush.

My day was absolutely heavenly.

I am so blessed and so thankful.

Merry Christmas everyone. (again ;)

Merry Christmas to you!

Merry Christmas to all of you and yours!

I think I will move to Hawaii for the next Christmas. Or, just listen to this song. It is by far the most fun to dance to.



Artist: KT Tunstall
Song: Mele Kalikimaka

How I know Santa is real

Um. Before we begin, FYI- my profile and whatnot has decided it wants to stay underneath the main posts. No matter what I do to coax it back up, to the right of the main posts. It is not my place to question why the blog choses this, it is only my place to keep posting ;)



When I was a wee Holly, I would always have a hard time waking up on Christmas morning. My brother would be the first one up, poking me before it was light out. One year, he kept jabbing me with a gray plastic ship thing. "HOLLY!! HOLLY!!! LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT?!!"

I remember murmuring something and going back to bed. It was no shock there were a lot of presents, after all, that is what Santa Claus does, bring presents. They could wait till I was done sleeping in.

This was a child's understanding of Christmas. This is a child's innocence and logic. I am now an adult.

The magic I felt, the joy I knew, it is still there. It is a choice I make, to dive back into my childhood understanding and swim to the warm bottom. And there I am happy. The happiness propels me into action. I spread the joy and love to others. And because of this, magic still exists. And because of this, Santa still exists.

CLICK HERE TO TRACK SANTA VIA NORAD RADAR!

1. MAN! is it cold outside!

(all together now)

HOW COLD IS IT???

(ahem)

It's so cold that my windshield wiper fluid froze. THAT'S RIGHT! My wiper fluid. Yeah I know, wiper fluid has antifreeze in it. But, it never had a chance. It being day four of -35 degrees. Wait, I mean FUCKING THIRTY FIVE DEGREE BELOW FUCKING ZERO!

Had to throw some HEET on it. That worked actually. I heart HEET

2. MAN! It's cold outside!

(again, all together now)

HOW COLD IS IT???

It's so cold that the act of walking into work causes the cheeks to get all red and chapped. And I wear a face wrap thing, the kind that goes under ski helmets. Seriously, I ran the mail to another building and I got windburn on my cheek. Blistered and everything. Next time, I am sending the security guard to do it. On his off hours he runs a snow removal business. He makes more money then the doctors I bet. Either way, he is made of steel, this Mr. Clean.

3. MAN! It's cold outside!!

(again)

HOW COLD IS IT???

It so cold, that after I scraped the 4 inches of snow, excuse me FUCKING FOUR FUCKING INCHES OF GODDAMN FUCKING SNOW off my car that had accumulated while I worked, I still had to scrape a good 1/2 inch layer of frost and ice. Then I got in the car and realized, oh, I guess you can get frost on the inside of your windshield too. WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. All that scraping the snow, um, I actually broke my scraper this morning. I mean, I think the snow can hear me. I mean, how else could that happen? Has anyone else broken their scraper??

I mean really, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, let me apologize to the snow. I'm sorry snow.

Please don't snap my scrapers in half anymore. I mean, it's nothing personal.

BUT! Despite all this, I still got the Christmas Spirit!!

Oh baby oh baby!! I still feel the Christmas Joy!

And this is why . . . . . .

As Pancake and I were walking into a store I says:

4. "Pancake, It's sooo cold outside!

"Mommy, it's really cold! "

"It's so cold my butt fell clean off. Take a look back there, it's laying by the car. Can you see it Pancake?"

She looks back, looks at me, all devilish smile, all silly grin, "Don't worry Mom, I'll glue it back on!"

God, I love being a mom to a six year old. Good times ;)

AND THEN . . .

4. We bought sleds for the kids. They have been staring something fierce at the wee Pancake for a week. We live 2 blocks from a snow hill that she passes every morning. With it being too cold, all have been unused. If I was Pancake, I would not have been so polite for so long.

But she has been polite. And gentle in her pleas and wanting. Finally, I just couldn't take how nice she was taking it. She couldn't either. She broke down, I broke down. And I pulled her around the backyard, in the snow, for 15 minutes. Burnt the other cheek and almost broke the sled because the snow as so deep and frozen. Did I mention the snow was waist deep on me? I'm five four btw.

But man. We got back in and she was GLOWING! Hoping up and down.

HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HOP HOP HOP!!!

So yes, I have the Christmas Spirit.

I hope you do to. If no, you can always borrow a cup when you stop by.

HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP!!!

Potter's Ground: Christmas edition!

Welcome back to Potter's Ground, where being creative in the comments and knowing stuff about music gets you points.

It was suspended last week on account of Slyde's car story. I still don't know what to do with it. I mean, how do I assign points to THAT story. (click here for the contest, scroll through the comments to get at Slyde's story.) Maybe ya'll can help me out with what to do there.

But-it is now officially my favorite time of the year CHRISTMAS!!!

So, what is your favorite Christmas song and why?

My current favorite is "Jingle Bells" because little Mac (son age 2) can sing it really, really loud.

I will spare you all from the audio.

But, my all time favorite is "We're a couple of misfits" because well, it fits :)

I would like to say though, I do run around willy nilly!

O-BTW, when the song plays a little advert comes up on the screen, just click on the x to shut it down and enjoy the video! :)



For some reason, sometimes the comment option doesn't show up.

1. Try refreshing the blog.
2. Try coming back in a few minutes.
3. Email comments at butcher (dot) hollow (at) gmail (dot) com

Ok, good luck.