Thoughts of which I am not proud (Christmas edition)

There is a lot of angry and bitterness that people have over the holidays. They see the footage of Walmart brawls and salivating kids. They hear the whine of 'I have not enough.' All this black friday garabage can harden anyone. I'm certainly not immune.

I don't like Christmas shopping. But here I am, at walmart looking for the toy pictured above. It's from an Angel tree card. The card is from a Christmas tree at my church. The cards are like letters to Santa, only I'm Santa. They'll never know it though. In fact, I don't know them. The card says " C145/boy age 9/Air hog assault r/c helicopter".  Those are sold out. Other Air Hogs are available. The kid will have to make due.

I move on to the next angel card. My cackles go up. There are 15 things on this card. All specific and name brand. The next card is vague but demanding. I've got five cards total. It's going to be a long day shopping at walmart. Sigh.

My thinking goes sour. Rumination begins. My foster daughter's mom is like this. All about things and things being important. She spends a lot of money on name brand clothes for her daughter, my foster daughter. She doesn't like us, the mom. She doesn't like how we do her baby's hair or how we dress her. She's loud about it too.

Fundamentally, I disagree with buying stuff for stuff's sake. My kids get maybe one or two presents tops. Birthdays presents are sparse, we do things instead of getting things. And that's what I want to say to my foster daughter's mom. The kid doesn't need a mom who can buy her stuff, she needs her mom. I feel a massive build up of stink eye towards her mom.

Feelings are funny things. They're pretty useless though, at least in these cases.

I'm not buying presents for these angel card kids. I'm not being my foster daughter's second mom. I'm showing God's love. I'm letting them know about being saved and letting the love pour through me.

Because that's what Christmas is all about. And the more I focus on that, the less I succumb to bitter and hatred. I let His love fill me till I'm overflowing. That way, I spill all over those angel cards and foster kids.

:)

God I love me some Christmas Time . . and sledding ;)

God I love me some Christmas Time and sledding!

And with the 20 inches we just had, AWAY WE GO A SLEDDING!

ROCK MY GOOD PEOPLE!

And now, my favorite christmas song of all time :)

sorry about advert but the song is worth it ;)

How I know Santa is real

Um. Before we begin, FYI- my profile and whatnot has decided it wants to stay underneath the main posts. No matter what I do to coax it back up, to the right of the main posts. It is not my place to question why the blog choses this, it is only my place to keep posting ;)



When I was a wee Holly, I would always have a hard time waking up on Christmas morning. My brother would be the first one up, poking me before it was light out. One year, he kept jabbing me with a gray plastic ship thing. "HOLLY!! HOLLY!!! LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT?!!"

I remember murmuring something and going back to bed. It was no shock there were a lot of presents, after all, that is what Santa Claus does, bring presents. They could wait till I was done sleeping in.

This was a child's understanding of Christmas. This is a child's innocence and logic. I am now an adult.

The magic I felt, the joy I knew, it is still there. It is a choice I make, to dive back into my childhood understanding and swim to the warm bottom. And there I am happy. The happiness propels me into action. I spread the joy and love to others. And because of this, magic still exists. And because of this, Santa still exists.

CLICK HERE TO TRACK SANTA VIA NORAD RADAR!

I still got the Christmas Spirit Fingers!

1. MAN! is it cold outside!

(all together now)

HOW COLD IS IT???

(ahem)

It's so cold that my windshield wiper fluid froze. THAT'S RIGHT! My wiper fluid. Yeah I know, wiper fluid has antifreeze in it. But, it never had a chance. It being day four of -35 degrees. Wait, I mean FUCKING THIRTY FIVE DEGREE BELOW FUCKING ZERO!

Had to throw some HEET on it. That worked actually. I heart HEET

2. MAN! It's cold outside!

(again, all together now)

HOW COLD IS IT???

It's so cold that the act of walking into work causes the cheeks to get all red and chapped. And I wear a face wrap thing, the kind that goes under ski helmets. Seriously, I ran the mail to another building and I got windburn on my cheek. Blistered and everything. Next time, I am sending the security guard to do it. On his off hours he runs a snow removal business. He makes more money then the doctors I bet. Either way, he is made of steel, this Mr. Clean.

3. MAN! It's cold outside!!

(again)

HOW COLD IS IT???

It so cold, that after I scraped the 4 inches of snow, excuse me FUCKING FOUR FUCKING INCHES OF GODDAMN FUCKING SNOW off my car that had accumulated while I worked, I still had to scrape a good 1/2 inch layer of frost and ice. Then I got in the car and realized, oh, I guess you can get frost on the inside of your windshield too. WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. All that scraping the snow, um, I actually broke my scraper this morning. I mean, I think the snow can hear me. I mean, how else could that happen? Has anyone else broken their scraper??

I mean really, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, let me apologize to the snow. I'm sorry snow.

Please don't snap my scrapers in half anymore. I mean, it's nothing personal.

BUT! Despite all this, I still got the Christmas Spirit!!

Oh baby oh baby!! I still feel the Christmas Joy!

And this is why . . . . . .

As Pancake and I were walking into a store I says:

4. "Pancake, It's sooo cold outside!

"Mommy, it's really cold! "

"It's so cold my butt fell clean off. Take a look back there, it's laying by the car. Can you see it Pancake?"

She looks back, looks at me, all devilish smile, all silly grin, "Don't worry Mom, I'll glue it back on!"

God, I love being a mom to a six year old. Good times ;)

AND THEN . . .

4. We bought sleds for the kids. They have been staring something fierce at the wee Pancake for a week. We live 2 blocks from a snow hill that she passes every morning. With it being too cold, all have been unused. If I was Pancake, I would not have been so polite for so long.

But she has been polite. And gentle in her pleas and wanting. Finally, I just couldn't take how nice she was taking it. She couldn't either. She broke down, I broke down. And I pulled her around the backyard, in the snow, for 15 minutes. Burnt the other cheek and almost broke the sled because the snow as so deep and frozen. Did I mention the snow was waist deep on me? I'm five four btw.

But man. We got back in and she was GLOWING! Hoping up and down.

HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HOP HOP HOP!!!

So yes, I have the Christmas Spirit.

I hope you do to. If no, you can always borrow a cup when you stop by.

HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP!!!