Monday, December 2, 2013

Thoughts of which I am not proud (Christmas edition)

There is a lot of angry and bitterness that people have over the holidays. They see the footage of Walmart brawls and salivating kids. They hear the whine of 'I have not enough.' All this black friday garabage can harden anyone. I'm certainly not immune.

I don't like Christmas shopping. But here I am, at walmart looking for the toy pictured above. It's from an Angel tree card. The card is from a Christmas tree at my church. The cards are like letters to Santa, only I'm Santa. They'll never know it though. In fact, I don't know them. The card says " C145/boy age 9/Air hog assault r/c helicopter".  Those are sold out. Other Air Hogs are available. The kid will have to make due.

I move on to the next angel card. My cackles go up. There are 15 things on this card. All specific and name brand. The next card is vague but demanding. I've got five cards total. It's going to be a long day shopping at walmart. Sigh.

My thinking goes sour. Rumination begins. My foster daughter's mom is like this. All about things and things being important. She spends a lot of money on name brand clothes for her daughter, my foster daughter. She doesn't like us, the mom. She doesn't like how we do her baby's hair or how we dress her. She's loud about it too.

Fundamentally, I disagree with buying stuff for stuff's sake. My kids get maybe one or two presents tops. Birthdays presents are sparse, we do things instead of getting things. And that's what I want to say to my foster daughter's mom. The kid doesn't need a mom who can buy her stuff, she needs her mom. I feel a massive build up of stink eye towards her mom.

Feelings are funny things. They're pretty useless though, at least in these cases.

I'm not buying presents for these angel card kids. I'm not being my foster daughter's second mom. I'm showing God's love. I'm letting them know about being saved and letting the love pour through me.

Because that's what Christmas is all about. And the more I focus on that, the less I succumb to bitter and hatred. I let His love fill me till I'm overflowing. That way, I spill all over those angel cards and foster kids.


3 Left a message at the beep:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Bless you for having a Christlike attitude towards this. I've had your exact same thoughts--and since I haven't been able to get past them several years ago I just started cutting a check to the Salvation Army at Christmas time. I found it much easier on my spirit without compromising my attitude. HONEST post, honey.

Bruce Johnson said...

"I feel a massive build up of stink eye towards her mom."

I love this line, it pretty sums up how you feel.

Thank the media for indoctrinating even poor down trodden children into wanting brand names and other related stuff. If all they got to do was play in the school yard, they would only want balls and bats. Good luck disconnecting them.

.....and if you have room for one more Angel Card, I really, really, really want an iPhone 5s (Please, please, please, please)

Mrs. Hall said...

GG: hey girl!

Bruce: for you, i give the gift of advice


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