I shall not want: Mall Bangs edition

You are the Lord, you are my Shepard;

I shall not want : Mall Bangs.

Lo, behold yon children in the mall indoor playground!
Witness! The shiny, Styrofoam treehouse of Your love!
Look at yon lacquered log, empty and hollow, waiting to be filled with Your glory.

It is laying down in worship, next to the treehouse of your glory!

Hark! Hear my fellow mom, hovering like an Apache!
Parking herself firmly between the lord of the flies,
And the rest of the sweaty children.

WITNESS! Her struggle, her pain, as she speaks!
In Your gift of adult and logical tongue she calls,
DON'T CLIMB ON THE LOG HONEY! YOU WILL GET HURT HONEY!

LOOK! Her mall bangs in this mall of Your glory.
She moves yon log away from Your treehouse of worship.
Honey now cannot hurt the temple you have built.

WAIT! LOOK FURTHER! As I cast my motherly eyes on yon Pancake.
WITNESS! Yon Pancake is moving the devotional log back to where You grew it
in Your infinite wisdom. And there it shall stay, in testament to You.

It is beside the tree house of Your glory
And yon Pancake, she is shining with Your wisdom.
WITNESS! HARK! She is helping her wee brother, Mac, up on the log.
So he can climb and be closer to Your glory.

I shall not want: swimming pool edition

The lord is my Shepard, I shall not want a swimming pool.

Behold the pool of my neighbor. Witness the exaltation as they splash, cavort and throw the inflated beach ball. Hark! hear their cries of earthly delight as they swim in the chlorinated pool of your creation.

And lo! Witness I! Your lowly servant. I am here, on the front lawn of Babylon, kneeling under your glorious sun. I beg for your strength as I try to fix the righteous black knob upon the divine yellow sprinkler. Lord! Release the mighty spray and make still the colossal whining coming forth the mouths of babes on yonder porch. Please Lord, I beg, let the water burst forth in testament to your glory.

Lord hear my prayer.